A young woman asked me if I was a feminist

[mimitabby]

I sat and thought about it for about a week and sat down and wrote:

When young women talk about Feminism, I don’t say much because I was a part of the "bra burning" feminist movement in the 1960’s and 70’s and then saw how badly it backfired on us.
My grandmothers both worked hard both in and out of the home to support their families during the depression when my grandfathers were often unemployed. My grandfathers when they did work, earned more. My father and my mother were latchkey kids, as was I. Same thing, next generation. My mother made much less than my father, and as a single mom (they divorced when I was 6) she barely made ends meet even with my father's absolutely dependable child support checks ( a grand sum of $25 a week for 2 kids, went up to $35 eventually).
Then it was me and my generation. In math class, I did my best to dispel the rumor that boys were better than girls in Math and handily competed with them for top grades on Algebra tests. In the guidance counselor's office, I was told: “you can be a nurse or a teacher or a secretary; which career track appeals to you?” None of them appealed to me although I did apply to a nursing school and got turned down because I had the "wrong" personality.
In college, I discovered all sorts of wonderful things to learn about , and enjoyed the absence of a dress code. I lost my panty hose forever. I was not a good student by that time, so unfortunately did not have an opportunity to blaze trails for others to follow by getting involved with Genetics or Animal sciences.
Instead I had to get a job. And the jobs available to me were clerical and retail and paid pretty badly.
So how did we do?
We no longer had to dress up in ridiculous shoes and dresses to work, go to school, or out to play.
We could get legal abortions.
We didn't have to be quiet when men were abusive towards us in the workplace (but more than likely nothing would be done about it anyway) We still couldn't get good salaries. And I hate to admit, it was my generation who started with the wet tee shirt contests!

ok, so fast forward to today:
We're still fighting to keep those legal abortions.
We can pretty much dress the way we want anywhere. More girls than boys attend college and are graduating from it; but there are no jobs.
There is a big movement of "stay at home moms" many of us wish we could afford that very thing that was considered normal “back in the good old days”, even though in my own family for 3 generations it never did happen.
Men working in women's jobs STILL tend to make more $$ than women.
Women CAN get jobs in men's fields, but they still get hassled and abused, even in white collar jobs like flying commercial airlines.
I really lucked out, I work for a large corporation who bends over backwards trying to be fair. And to me, they certainly have been; I'm well compensated for my work. But I know that I am the exception, not the rule.
I guess I'm not a feminist anymore, although I am incredibly proud of the women who fought for our right to vote, to receive fair wages, and to be considered equal to men in the eyes of the law . But bottom line, and as the mother of two sons; I believe in equal rights for all of humanity, and this includes legal and illegal immigrants, gays, lesbians, blacks, Asians, and the formerly handicapped now otherly abled? But today, even more I am concerned with the right to survive for our neighbors, the animal kingdom and the plant kingdom. Thanks for listening.

[Taverner]

1. Feminism is the radical notion that all people are equal

Call me a proud Feminist!

[DURHAM D]

3. I'm with you. A PROUD FEMINIST.

And to the OP - you failed to mention how the feminist movement "backfired". Your narrative seems the opposite to me.

I would, however, say that it failed in some ways. Namely, that people who should self identify as feminists (and that includes all liberals, Dems, and progressives of all genders and all stripes) should without hesitation self-identify as a feminist. Otherwise I assume you are to the right of center and have been taking in too much of the MSM and Republican party screed since Reagan was in office about "the failures of feminism".

[mimitabby]

7. ah, how did it backfire?

I guess because women are still getting the short end of the stick, and as you implied, now there's a great backlash AGAINST feminism, even among women!
Just check out what teenaged girls are like "she deserved to be beaten" that sort of attitude. I'd say that backfired. I really thought that by now young women wouldn't be dressing like prostitutes and calling each other bitches and whores.
I'm certainly NOT right of center.

[DURHAM D]

9. Still - that doesn't mean the feminist movement backfired.

The feminist movement didn't cause young women to dress like prostitutes, etc.

However, that is what the right would want you to believe. Think.

[mimitabby]

10. no, of course not

but somehow, the a huge portion of the next generation did not get enlightened... at all.

[eShirl]

4. yes! thank you

[Libertyfirst]

6. This old man is a proud feminist. I would not be keeping faith

with my grandmothers, my mother, my wife and daughters if I were not. And I do agree that feminism is the radical notion that all people are equal, so I am keeping faith with the founding mothers and fathers as well.

[kestrel91316]

2. When I was a young woman in the 70s and 80s I used to say "I'm not a feminist BUT.....".

Then I finally realized I WAS, in fact, a true feminist, and unapologetic. I agree with the radical notion that women deserve the same rights of men.

Oh, and nobody burned any bras. That is urban myth. At ONE protest in the 60s some women threw their bras in the trash as a symbolic gesture. It got misreported and repeated and the myth still lives.

[DURHAM D]

5. When I first identified myself to my parents as a feminist in the late 60s -

my Dad said - Thank God, at last we know what to call you - its been the big question since the day you started talking.

My Dad is 93 and we laughed about his comment just this past Mother's Day. His Mother was a suffragist and his earliest memories are marching in parades dressed all in white - he hated it at the time but now its a great, great memory.

[mimitabby]

8. I certainly didn't.

yes, that's why I put it in quotes. I can't tell you how many times someone asked me if I HAD burned mine.

[Berry Cool]

11. I'm a feminist and proud of it. The problem is, feminism today has been given a bad name.

Old-school feminism--the kind that actually cares about women's collective rights--is today considered dull, shrill, strident and humorless. The vast majority of young women look at that kind of feminism and say "No, thanks."

Instead, they say they're not feminists--oh no, not them! Or they become "choice feminists" or "do-me feminists": women for whom the primary definition of feminism seems to be that they can individually CHOOSE to wear stiletto heels if they want, they can individually CHOOSE to wear short skirts, they can individually CHOOSE to pose nude for Playboy, they can individually CHOOSE to sleep with any man they want, they can individually CHOOSE a vibrator when they prefer, they can individually CHOOSE to get married and take their husband's name, they can individually CHOOSE to stay home with their children instead of having a job--and it's all cool and OK and empowering because they "chose" it. Or, they can individually "choose" to work outside the home--just as long as they continue to maintain the household and know all their kids' names, ages, birthdays, teachers' names, food likes and dislikes, and when it's their turn to bring the snack at school, because Lord knows their husband just hasn't got a head for that stuff, the big galoot! (Oh, sure, there are exceptions to the rule, but such men are regarded as supermen--heroes--for doing what is merely expected of the mothers of their children.)

Frankly, I think women like that are no more liberated than the housewives of the '50s. Don't get me wrong, I believe in choice, but I think in many cases, the "choices" being made are empty ones, without a lot of thought going into them. They're just the same old choices so many women have made, with a big dollop of so-called sexual liberation dolloped on top. They do nothing to make life easier or better for women as a group, and they continue to help men avoid having to make the kinds of decisions so many women have to make about stuff like "parenthood vs. career" (how many men do you know who have had to seriously consider how parenthood will affect their careers?) or anything else.

If women acted collectively like real feminists, we might achieve some things that made life better and easier and created more options for all the women who come after us, as well as enabled ourselves to share life's burdens more equally with men (and relieved them somewhat, too). But we don't do that, because there's just not that much interest in it anymore. Besides, everyone is afraid it'll make them look too dull and humorless and, well, un-sexy.

[Name removed]

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[Warped Theory]

13. Obviously culture is still suppressing women's rights

We think we make huge leaps in civil rights. And we do, but it's never enough. And clearly the cycle continues as the hard-earned, supposedly "old arguments" are re-discovered. History is so effffing typical. And so thoroughly frustrating.