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What is Marriage? Jealousy? and Sex? Your thoughts?

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crumb77 Donating Member (32 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-02-10 06:44 AM
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What is Marriage? Jealousy? and Sex? Your thoughts?


I predict that future civilizations will address the idea of marriage as an ancient and possibly barbaric tradition. What exactly is Marriage at this moment in time? Will the values that it stands for seem like realistic social norms in an ever growing society producing more and more independent minds? Centuries ago, Marriage was not influenced by love, but of property and social status. Throughout the entire era in which Marriage has existed, Woman’s intuition to love and choose who they love only account for a very small percentage of time. Society as a whole has exponentially distanced itself from the antiquated, male dominated paradigm, but we are now only at the beginning of the inevitable equality of gender roles. Right now, it is 2010, yet Women were only given the right to vote less than a hundred years ago. Much has changed, undeniably for the better, but it’s no coincidence that most of our Grandparents are still married, yet over 50% of the youth today are products of broken homes.
Although the rules of marriage are always changing with every generation, the basic rule of monogamy seems to be the most intimidating commitment when considering marriage. This does make a lot of sense for realm we currently know. We are exceptional beings who posses a multitude of emotions, one being jealousy. Jealousy spawned from love and lust and can be extremely powerful and detrimental to ones behavior make up. I’ve often pondered of how much of jealousy is conditioned through nurture of cultural norms, and the natural adaptation of our mental encumbrance.
The disheartening pain humans endure after being given word of being cheated on is often due to the haunting metal image of someone else having sex with someone you value so close. It seems to me that most individuals naturally imagine a worse and more heartbreaking scenario than what had actually occurred. Men have often imagined a disrespectful and degrading encounter similar to those of pornographic movies; which could be very detrimental to the emotional stability (Jealousy) of any natural human. I ask why we as a society expect others to behave disrespectful to our loved ones in times of infidelity and passion. I believe it is all tied in with the fact that yet gender roles are becoming more equal, we are not quite there yet. The degradation of woman still exists in societal minds. We have all seen how cruel and sadistic some people can be when expressing past encounters of sexual disclosure. A similar example is racism. It still very much exists, just not as publicly accepted.
I'd like to entertain the idea that our future society will become more and more civilized. Civilized meaning respectful to every human being. Sex would only represent love, and love would be universal. The idea of free sex would not be feared by jealous nature and heartache. No one would confuse sex as anything more than a celebration of life and love for all humanity. The dreadful thoughts of sexual games, intimidation, and degradation would no longer exist to entice our brains with thoughts of protective empowerment.
Marriage is inevitably on its way out of the mainstream majority, but not anytime soon. I have no doubt in my mind that the idea of monogamy will slowly be replaced by universal respect. The jealous, confusing heartaches that we now experience will evolve into a more realistic cultural acceptance of our innate desire to yearn for intimacy with a multitude of different people.

Any feedback?
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no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-02-10 06:57 AM
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1. Maybe I'm idealistic, but marriage is perfected when ownership, business, and
contract are removed from the complexity of two people merging their lives. As for equality, that's relative. You'll never have a perfect 50-50 split all the time: sometimes it's 60-40 or 40-60 or some other ratio that is dynamic and changes.

To be friends at the inception and the conclusion is the underlying goal.
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crumb77 Donating Member (32 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-02-10 07:25 AM
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2. Agree
No one ever says "I love you so much, lets get the government involved." ha ha. I hope i didn't come off hating marriage, I just predict that down the road for equality,way down the line. marriage might be considered opressive by future standards. just a thought.

thanks!
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zipplewrath Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-02-10 07:57 AM
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3. Dream on
Marriage has been around, in one form or another, for a couple of thousands of years at least. It endures, even as it constantly changes, because of all the reasons that society is so committed to it. It is a social construct that cultures find useful, mostly in economic terms. It comes with a standard set of arrangements which can be modified by the participants. Think of it as a "standard pre nup". Marriage will change over time, but it will endure.
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crumb77 Donating Member (32 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-02-10 09:19 AM
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4. I don't really follow the logic
Just because a popular institution has stood the test of time so far in no way provides amnesty to its inevitability. I agree It may be unlikely or unfathomable but there is no need for certainty. Just think, for thousands of years, biblical stories like adam and eve beginning 5000 years ago were overwhelmingly the accepted knowledge of how old the earth is. Only until 200 years ago we entered an age of science and now evolution is becoming more and more the norm. Maybe marriage will stay but monogamy will go? A contract of good parents between good friends. I like it
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zipplewrath Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-02-10 09:42 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. It is the degree of change
The "institution" or tradition has evolved alot over the centuries, but it is still here. It is still here because of its fundamental usefulness in the larger social constructs that exist. It will change, but people will still find it useful and so they will keep it. It is its ability to transform and conform that makes it so enduring.
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crumb77 Donating Member (32 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-02-10 11:18 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. of course
It takes a long time. I don't think marriage could be abandoned for hundreds of years maybe thousands. Hell it took over 300 years after Copernicus proved that the earth revolved around the Sun, for the majority of society to accept his discovery, and that was a mathematically proven fact. A highly popular and traditional method of living would take a very long time. Although like you said, it may adapt with alongside of progression but at some point this newer institution could very well be criticized as "not a real marriage" for changing the "sanctity" of it, like those against gay marriage like to use, (even though interracial marriages were illegal in California until 1967, proof it can evolve, not yet for gays though } and that may deny its progression. A great example of that would be how my grandmother would say to me "Rap music is NOT music. its noise pollution" to her it is not. I think I understand a bit. Humans will always interact with humans and the word marriage strongly resonates that very idea. So as long as we don't become a reclusive society, the word marriage will have a place society and our vernacular. But the real question is, how much does it have to change or not change for everyone to agree on what is the right way. My theory of the distant future is world without affiliations and contractual obligation of the vague and nebulous concept, love.
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zipplewrath Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-02-10 11:32 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. Never happen
"But the real question is, how much does it have to change or not change for everyone to agree on what is the right way."

Everyone will not agree on a "right way". Truth is the continuous progression happens BECAUSE no one agrees on the "right way" and people continuously seek to "perfect" it. Take any point in time and there will be multiple different "styles" and various people claiming that someone else style is wrong.
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crumb77 Donating Member (32 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-02-10 11:58 AM
Response to Reply #7
8. very true
but even today we uphold ancient traditions that have completely been altered by society and used only for novelty. Like saying "bless you" after a sneeze. No one today say's that and actually believes a soul was trying to escape a body. The intention today has completely nothing to do with its original intention. It seems like your point is that we will find a way to keep using the word marriage. The possibility of marriage becoming nothing more than a futuristic novelty, perhaps for going steady in high school or something, may happen. Or not. If society unanimously decides that sex with only one person for the rest of their lives is just not satisfying enough, then marriage would lose its meaning. Its only a theory of mine, you don't have to agree. I do enjoy you points
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-26-10 10:18 PM
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houstonintc Donating Member (202 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-11 02:30 PM
Response to Original message
10. Marriage might make a come back....
As humans we tend to want to form a stable a fair family unit of some kind. While single parent households are way more common I think ideally most want two parents involved. And many studies seem to indicate that it works best if two parents are involved.

In a heterosexual context this means a man and a woman.

The issue of free sex is it goes against out biological instincts, well for male anyway. The instinct is to ensure our genetics get passed on to the next generation. We get exceptionally mad if the woman we love cheats because...

A) we have vivid imaginations and visualize it over and over again.

B) Do not want to be cuckolded and tricked into raising someone else's children.

C) basic human trust which goes both ways. Why be in a relationship if one can not hold anything exclusive to the partner in question?

I think eventually natural selection will favor those who formed the family bond and remained faithful to one another and raised children who will likewise do the same.

Meanwhile I think marriage for most will never happen, much like relationships will never work out for most. If we can not be faithful to one another why even be together?
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