Doctor slang is a dying art

[supernova]

The inventive language created by doctors the world over to insult their patients - or each other - is in danger of becoming extinct.

So says a doctor who has spent four years charting more than 200 colourful examples.

Medicine is a profession already overflowing with acronyms and technical terms, and doctors over the years have invented plenty of their own.

However, Dr Adam Fox, who works at St Mary's Hospital in London as a specialist registrar in its child allergy unit, says that far fewer doctors now annotate notes with abbreviations designed to spell out the unsayable truth about their patients.

The increasing rate of litigation means that there is a far higher chance that doctors will be asked in court to explain the exact meaning of NFN (Normal for Norfolk), FLK (Funny looking kid) or GROLIES (Guardian Reader Of Low Intelligence in Ethnic Skirt).

TOP MEDICAL ABBREVIATIONS
CTD - Circling the Drain (A patient expected to die soon)
GLM - Good looking Mum
GPO - Good for Parts Only
TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy
UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury

article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3159813.stm

Anybody who has worked in and around the medical profession -- what's your favorite slang?

[tavalon]

1. I probably shouldn't say, but I will

DTR = Dumber than rocks and in some parts of the country it's RAS = Rocks are smarter.

My two favorite, non mean colloquials are OTD = Out the door (used in a l/d for a patient who is going home, except in deep Texas where the acronym is ALC = A la casa.

[sailor65]

2. Wait, you mean professionals will soon

have to ACT like professionals?

Be still my heart!

[supernova]

3. Actually, it's just human

Most jobs have expressions for people they have to deal with daily that they wish they didn't, and it usually comes out at the water cooler. It's just part of the territory. The only difference is most people don't write them down. :7

[sailor65]

4. I know, it was an old joke

Police Officers have to do it just to stay sane.

[supernova]

5. Yes, and EMTs too

"crispy critters" anyone?

:scared:

[Horse with no Name]

6. PTF QID

(pillow to face four times a day)

[supernova]

7. LOL

That's so bad.

I'd want to :spank: anyone who wrote that in my chart!

Yes, I look. :D

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

8. DRT=Dead Right There

[Warpy]

11. Or worse, DRT, LLT

Dead right there, long, long time.

[varkam]

9. The one I was always familiar with was GOMER

Get Out Of My Emergency Room - used to describe hypochondriacs.

[Warpy]

12. It's used to describe a Friday night nursing home dump

It's always a patient who is elderly, confused, combative, incontinent, and who might or might not need hospital admission. Usually they're septic and their electrolytes are out of whack, though, which adds to all the above problems. You will not be able to return them to the nursing home until Monday because they don't do intake on weekends.

[Warpy]

10. Oooh, I've got a lot of them

JP FROG: Just Plain Fucking Ran Outta Gas for respiratory failure.

Smurf: for respiratory failure

FLK: funny looking kid, or something's wrong with this kid and we need to look closer.

And the winner
TF BUNDY: Totally Fucked But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet.

None of these were ever used on patient charts, only verbally or on the notes we would give the oncoming shift to warn them about what was ahead.

[dropkickpa]

13. STB

Shit/ing The Bed = Dead/dying Don't know if that one is used in people medicine. I'll have to think about some of the animal owner acronyms we'd use on charts, there's a TON.

[FM Arouet666]

14. LOL

"FOS" = full of stool. Chronic constipation gives you pain and invariably a surgeon will get called and give this lovely diagnosis. Radiologists also use the term to describe too much poopy on an xray.

"Supra Tentorial" = as in your brain which is a supra tentorial organ. Used to describe patients whose symptoms are primarily all in their heads.

"Low tooth to age ratio" = some trauma patients just have a look about them, and the meth epidemic is not helping out their smiles either.

"Frequent Flier" = Some patients just have a knack for getting sick, usually used to describe the trauma patient who repeatedly does something silly to get back into the ER. Typically involves alcohol.

And my personal favorite, and seems to be a very accurate finding, is the "positive Throck-Morton sign" Occurs when the penis is pointed in the direction of the injury. Again, the trauma patient comes in with a gun shot to the right leg and Mr Bobo just happens to be pointing in that same direction.

And lastly, the "Two Dudes Syndrome" Seems that the knife and gun club in every major city has a problem with this. I will demonstrate. Guy comes in with multiple stab wounds. Doc: What happened to you? Guy: I was minding my own business and these two dudes just attacked me. ;) I swear I have heard this about a thousand times, law enforcement should really do something about these dudes.

And a joke, which no one will get unless they are in health care......

An oncologist gets word that one of his long term cancer patients has died. He decides to run down to the morgue to get in one last chemo therapy treatment. He pulls out the drawer where his old patient is and finds a note. "Patient gone to hemo dialysis."

[mad-mommy]

15. FOS....

You said it too nice...we call FOS Full of Shit.

LOL