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court said on 3 Feb 2007 at 7:53 pm id lobe a shag bit think im abit ld for it, hmmm no extensions huh? i know thius is an incredibely shallow conversation ut ive reread every post and thougjtabout it gold dsut woman looked god co si was SO thin- iplan on gettin g THAT thin by april healthy and strong but that thin so ithink ill wait on the cut til the 20 mor epounds are gone, teh tehr day o tried a new haordresser and iooke dlke miss ytexas gla dthere wete no paps, we have theme nights in the studio= years ago i gave jkerry kurs sweater he wore n unplugged and its hanging on anail and i wore it for teh forst time since 7 years ago when i gave it to him abnd reamt rtealisticallythat urt had died his hair blacj moved to mebourned and joined a noize band and it was all a bigt mstale and wa sin san diego at a rehab and i had to sneak in sine he wanst suire he wnated to see mem but then we saw eacxh oteh rand itw as great and i woke up and seru=iously thought for a whle it nighta ll be a hoax And then i remembered his body and that funeral home( horrible story where a plethora of evei lawyers from texas came up and threatened to do sicoverey on me after what happendd intheir funeral home-w c ih ha dit been m,ad epublic would have been Time maga=zine cover material. they enced up forcing kurts mother to hear what happenedc-= i gave the 250k they gave to her- but they were real bastards yer mom and pop funeral home is NOT that its party of a multi natiponal corp based in texas billions of dllars and then if you dont go with your beloved to the crematorium you may get cats ashes- or someone elses- a friend of mine heard my story and acc ompmed his mum top the last moment, half his ashes are still above ground ina loc k box and it may be suyperstitious but i believe hell find more piece if i can find a cemetyary swhere kids can gop inw aqshington bno obe wants hos ashes they say it was a felony and they dont want the traffuc so kids still goto bvireeta park, i dunno i feel theres a sight curse with his ashes above ground and i d rreally lie to find a place to put the remaning ones for kids to go to in seatlle or aberdeen or even oly.s secomnd chpice la since we live d here most of the time, anyway ui donty wanna frepeatt he horrible story its a hprrible gory terrible story about a n obsessed volunteer coroner and i couldve had i had the balls sued them for so much and brought them down but also bring urts last remainbibg dignity down as well and we took thie rpittance and wendy bought horses afrabians with it wuich are still profitable) why did i digress? i dunnomy fgoal oday is to rid myself of thesetertiary religions of mine- everythibng butthe ltus sutra-= psychitqary wich i onlt use to get mood tsbqailsiers mnood stabilisers wich i no lbegr need astrolgey ( a hard one to quit) candle magic, osychics, iching, ytarotm whte magick candles, catholic mary shrnes in my bedroom and st thereasa, i have amulets and talismans in my bag and dont leavethe hous eiwthot a special portective :”magic” oil, this has got to stop= also kundalini and other sutras- i cant connt slander by repeatinthese otehr lesser sutras. so my focus thos week is to put 100percent of my faith in the gohonzon and on my practice and not go to my astroleger every tmne i have a meeting or a big night etc, its gonna be hard bit i had an epiphany wher ei realised i m NOT a true biddhist with all these other things i was raised with these super stitious nonsense things- iwant liumitl;ess self esteem and to libve with intent and to fiulflfill my mission to serve others, i chantyed today from 12 -330 a long one, so hoepfully onighthehlyrics will trip iff the tpunge. i cant repeat again hpw porfound thos practic e is its related so direxctly to cause and effect youy see your karma unfold in front of your very eyes and obviously smokinga nd textingw hil e i chanty needs to STOP, discipline here will bring discpline in all other areas. todays resolution diu jour last week was grudges( i ended up thanking in my prayers hank and linda for creating me human so u had ths oppirtunity to chant) no comtempt wihc i can be awful at- and no jealousy wich i dont have a bog issue with, sometimne si winder why say Paltrow doesnt have to chant for her good fortiune =but its not jkealiusy its juts accepantce that all fortiubne is different, anyway thats my epiphany dui jour. superstinons and lesser sutras OUT otal commitmentto biddhist proper opractice IN. and rthe hair will come. =
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