A word of advice (maybe warning) to closeted gay students

[dsc]

We had our annual suicide prevention meeting during my staff meeting at school and it covered the usual things. One thing that I hadn't totally paid attention to in the past was that parents will be informed about both threats of suicide and the reasons for them. I knew about telling them that they were suicidal but not that we had to tell why. I am not sure I totally agree with this but that is what at least my school district does. So my bottom line here is to say if you tell your school counselor you are suicidal and that it is due to your being gay, then you could well be telling your parents too.

[Arctic Dave]

1. I can't say I agree with this policy.

The thought of telling their parents may be one of the reasons for their suicidal thoughts. Not all parents are reasonable when it comes to this topic. Unfortunately.

[dsc]

2. I know I brought that up after the meeting

but apparently it is non negotiable.

[TechBear_Seattle]

3. School ass-covering always trumps a student's right to privacy

They probably figure that a student who commits suicide because his parents found out he was gay carries less legal liability than a student who commits suicide because he was terrified and depressed that his parents might find out he was gay.

[Arctic Dave]

4. That is most likely the reason. CYA for the school.

[dsc]

5. yeah that is pretty much it

[Arctic Dave]

6. So who does the informing of the parent?

You would think that if this is the route the school district is going to take, they would have a pre arranged type of program(for lack of a better word).

[dsc]

7. the counselor does the telling

after I have to tell the counselor then the counselor tells the parents.

[Arctic Dave]

8. Not a position I would want to be in.

I remember when our daughter came out, she was so frightened. I think we suprised her a bit by saying OK, great, we are glad you could tell us that. I don't think she realized that she was not the first gay person we have met. We told her the story of two of our friends who were gay and how they used to babysit her and much they adored her.

[dsc]

9. It honestly really bothers me alot

but apparently the only real choice I have is to be clear to them that they have to be careful what they say to me.

[Arctic Dave]

10. As if being a teacher wasn't hard enough.

Good Luck to you.

[dsc]

11. thanks

I know that I would have totally freaked if my parents had been told about me back in the day.

[LeftCoast]

12. It's hard to say why they're doing this

Several reasons come to mind. 1. State law explicitly directs them to do this. 2. An administrative rule was made at the state level to interpret a vague law (frequently the case). or 3. They are establishing the policy on their own for legal or ideological reasons. I wonder if your state ACLU could help you determine which of these is the case. This could help you decide how you could fight this best.

[dsc]

13. My guess is that it is a lawsuit thing

though I don't know for sure. It likely isn't even a change but just a function of my not paying total attention last year.

[qb]

14. This is disturbing. CYA trumps a person's safety.

I hope there is a hotline that students can call to get help confidentially. If there is I would certainly publicize it and make sure all students are aware of this school policy.

[dsc]

15. I am definately going to do both

I guess I should have paid more attention last year but didn't. Now I know and fortunately it hadn't come up prior to this.