Disasters that GLBT Americans are responsible for.

[hulklogan]

Since we're being blamed for losing every election since 1796 and the impending destruction of the Obama/Biden ticket, I think it is time we take responsibility for all of the other terrorist actions we've participated in. That way, the straight people will know exactly how powerful we are and begin to fear us rather than ignore us or tell us stupid queers to sit down and shut up.

What they gays hath wrought:

Hurricane Katrina
The Credit Crisis
HIV/AIDS

[Gman]

1. Kinda early in the morning to be smoking crack, don't you think?

[cboy4]

4. Yea, you might wanna put down the pipe Gman as you

excuse yourself from kicking down the door of our sanctuary.

[QC]

10. But not too early to tell you to get lost. n/t

[joeybee12]

14. Yeah, apparently you don't start til noon...

...dipshit.

[MNBrewer]

20. Xanadu

[msongs]

2. dont forget the biggest "crime" - breathing christian air - nt

[cboy4]

3. 9/11, Hurricane Ike, tainted spinich scare, and

the U.S. women's gymnastics team finishing second behind China. :eyes:

[leftofcool]

8. I just knew it!

Probably responsible for the bad tomatoes and peppers too. We oughta start looking a bit closer at that melamine thing too.

[cboy4]

12. lol

!!

[Behind the Aegis]

17. Not Ike, Gustav.

Gustav hit at Southern Decadence (taking MILLIONS from our city) and this of course was fodder for the religious far-right to say it was G-d striking at the gays again and punishing NOLA (though much of New Orleans proper was spared, especially the French Quarter; hell, we only lost power for an hour).

But don't worry, I am gay and Jewish, so rest assured, I am behind it all. :evilgrin:

[The empressof all]

5. Rachel Maddow is destroying my family

I've had to re-arrange our dinner time around her show. I will never Tivo Rachel...It must be Live...Live I tell you. If I had younger children it's any wonder what havoc she could have caused us. No ballet lessons, no soccer games.....

That woman is out to destroy all that we hold sacred

[leftofcool]

6. Didn't you also start the Civil War?

Just didn't want you to leave that one out <sarcasm>

[Buck Laser]

7. You missed global warming....

oh, wait! That doesn't exist.

[QC]

9. Deadly salsa. n/t

[Kookaburra]

11. Yep -- I blame you for that broken tooth last week

and the fire ants in the yard, and the nail in my tire, and I'm sure more bad stuff will happen. I find some and get back to ya.

[xchrom]

13. i believe the california chapter of Gays Causing Natural Disasters

is planning the next big earthquake.

although i must say timing is causing a huge headache -- nobody wants it to happen when they're on vacation in Palm Springs.

[Athelwulf]

22. We caused an earthquake in Israel earlier this year.

http://www.ynet.co.il/english/articles/0,7340,L-3509263,00.html

[TechBear_Seattle]

15. Killer bees. Mullets. Britney's melt-downs. The high price of a grande espresso.

And apparently, we have already thrown the 2008 presidential race in favor of McCain and Palin. :eyes:

[DarkTirade]

16. The forest fires in central FL a few years back

and the ones in California more recently.

[LeftyMom]

18. The crushing defeat of democratic candidates in '06

Okay, so that didn't actually happen, but just to be safe many people went ahead and blamed the gays preemptively.

[begin_within]

19. "Can't Stop the Music"

[QC]

21. Well, OK, we might actually bear some responsibility for that one. n/t

[Jamastiene]

23. This might take a while.

Don't forget tornadoes!
We attract them, ya know? They are our fault too. :eyes:

Mudslides :eyes:
Earthquakes :eyes:
Hangnails :eyes:
Flooding :eyes:

*takes a deep breath*

Divorce (is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS our fault, apparently, because we want the right to get married so badly that we are ALWAYS stealing one spouse or the other away from their partner. :wtf: ) :eyes:

PLUS, we still get blamed for most of the child molestation that happens, even though http://www.crisisconnectioninc.org/sexualassault/pedophilia_and_molestation.htm">95% of known Pedophiles are heterosexual. :eyes:

Oh, yeah, and while we are at it, we ALL have sex with AT LEAST 5,000 partners a night...and that's only at night. We stay up some in the daytime to cause all the other shit we get blamed for. WE ARE FIENDS, I tell ya!!! We must never sleep doing all this stuff we do. :eyes:

Oh yeah, it's ALWAYS unprotected sex too. :eyes:

*takes another deep breath*

Also, there would be NO NEW GAY PEOPLE EVER if children were never exposed to us. :eyes:

We turn kids gay if we try to raise kids together, because NO GAY kids EVER come from straight parents. :eyes:

We got ALL THE MONEY. We are ALL RICH, FILTHY RICH, EVERY LAST ONE OF US!!! We wipe our asses with hundred dollar bills for shits and giggles, I tell ya. :eyes:

We turn ALL our straight friends gay to win successive prizes starting with toasters all the way up to top o' the line appliances and even trips on cruise ships if we can turn 1k people. The closets we left are just chock FULL of toasters and microwaves. So, don't even THINK about asking us to go back THERE unless you want to help us recruit so we can unload all these toasters we've collected while breaking up your marriages and perverting you. :evilgrin: :eyes:

*takes another deep breath*

We all have plaques on our walls with special commendations from the SUPER SECRET GAY POLICE for advancing our AGENDA.

Because of us and our allies, Hell is going to overflow and need to start renting more space and Heaven is going to be COMPLETELY empty.

Straight people are just jealous of our parades. They only WISH their parades could be half as good.

*takes another deep breath*

...

AH, HELL, it's ALWAYS OUR FAULT, ALL OF IT, EVERYTHING!!! :eyes:

[Fran Kubelik]

25. ...

:loveya:

[joeybee12]

26. Oh my, that tired me out just reading it all!

:hi:

[Smarmie Doofus]

24. PHE - NOS

Pervasive Heterosexual Ennui - Not Otherwise Specified

[sui generis]

27. how could you forget splosive vajernal discharge

and the Vajerna Monologues.

:P

Towanda!!!!!!

[Creideiki]

28. My new theme song

"It's All Because (the Gays are Getting Married)"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rixkck8QnjY