A confession and a pledge

[blonndee]

to myself and you all.

I haven't done ANYTHING to support "gay rights" except express verbal and written approval of equal rights, including the right to marry. I did vote against banning same-sex marriage but alas, in Oklahoma, mine was one of a shamefully small group of dissenters.

I'm still in the process of "figuring out" a lot of things about my own self and have allowed that to somehow be an excuse for not being more active and sometimes even not as direct as I should have been, as though only people who were gay and out had an obligation to fight for equal rights. I never really THOUGHT this, at least consciously, but I now see that my lack of action equates at least somewhat to such an idea.

Honestly (and I hope I won't get flamed for this now) I guess I was also kind of lazy because I have let a lot of things slide that I shouldn't have, and haven't always seen this as an issue that affects ME. So maybe my failing to stand up and get involved has nothing to do with my own personal issues but instead stems from my own selfishness in thinking that I wouldn't really suffer from discrimination because I'm currently dating a man and have only dated men since The Lightbulb Moment. I now (shamefully) realize that I have been hoping that someone else would do all the work and someday when and if I MAY want to marry a woman, it wouldn't be an issue anymore. Yuck! I feel terrible writing that, and I guess I never fully realized I was thinking this way. Not very progressive of me.

So I apologize to everyone who is, has been, or may be affected by the continuing homophobia that persists in "everyday life" and is reflected in legislation or the lack thereof, and I promise from here on out that my personal issues and whether or not I'M directly affected will never be an excuse to not get involved and support equal rights for ALL.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope that those of you who have been working so hard will forgive me. I'm cringing at the thought of the criticism I might get, but I deserve it and I'll take it when/if it comes. I'm now going to try to find out what I can do right NOW.

[xchrom]

1. No flaming and thank you for your votes.

please understand -- the acceptance and moving the ball forward for marriage equality -- is really the effort of each individual gay person coming out.

that's the force that keeps moving the ball forwar -- each son or daughter -- each grandchild -- each niece and nephew -- that has teh courage and spirit to step into a loving and caring communit -- a community that heals just by being.


we love the support -- but we are really doing this on our own.

every year when there are more people than last at gay pride -- every year that there more lovers who announce their loving committment to their friends and family.

we are growing and we are never, ever going back. and marriage equality WILL be ours.

[blonndee]

2. I love that!

"we are growing and we are never, ever going back. and marriage equality WILL be ours."

The part about "each individual gay person coming out" really took me aback and I'll have to think about that for a while and what that means for what I have to do next. Thanks.

[xchrom]

3. cool. n/t

[closeupready]

4. Thank you for your support!

:hi:

You know, there is one reality that many people fail to recognize, which is that EVERY family has gay or lesbian members, though in many families they are in the closet. Only later when these people come out does it occur to people that there was so much more they could have done to make life less painful, but they didn't because (among other things) homophobia is so much a part of our culture. Look at that superbowl commercial they're talking about currently - homophobic or not, it implicitly validates the "manliness" of homophobia (which itself is a weird concept, that is, why is it inherently more manly to compete rather than cooperate? a false premise if you ask me).

So anyway, it's good that you've decided to make an effort to change how you approach these matters. :)

[mitchtv]

5. Thanks blonndee

I appreciate your vote, and standing up. I have been doing so since the 60's and it is heartening. to see the movement passed on to more brave souls like you. I am partnered for 30 yrs.

[swimboy]

6. Cheers, blonndee!

and thanks for looking inside yourself and posting these very honest thoughts!

:hug:

[Siyahamba]

7. You've given much more effort than many people.

Many people who claim to support equality can't even be bothered to get out and vote. Thank you for all you have done, and thank you for wanting to do more.