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So what are you going to do tomorrow at dinner when some right wing guest starts in on the wing nut

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county worker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 12:00 AM
Original message
So what are you going to do tomorrow at dinner when some right wing guest starts in on the wing nut
Edited on Thu Nov-24-11 12:03 AM by county worker
talking points?

Dinner is at my house as it has been the past several years. I listened last year as we were all told that those people on the street asking for money make more than I do and that they only do that because they don't want to work or that they prefer the homeless lifestyle.

This year I am going to interrupt any wing nut and tell them that what they are saying is not a good choice of topic for a Thanksgiving dinner. My sister-in-law and her partner never show up for Thanksgiving dinner but will be here Friday for the weekend. She doesn't want to here that shit either.
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marginlized Donating Member (219 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 12:09 AM
Response to Original message
1. I don't hang with wingnuts n/t
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TreasonousBastard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 12:13 AM
Response to Original message
2. You can't hit them, can you?
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DontTreadOnMe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 12:14 AM
Response to Original message
3. "It just goes to show you... how weak Republicans are on fighting terrorism..."
"... they couldn't even get Osama." :O
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The_Casual_Observer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 12:16 AM
Response to Original message
4. I just say look, this sort of thing really makes me upset & I don't
Edited on Thu Nov-24-11 12:17 AM by The_Casual_Observer
want to hear about it right now, so lets please change the subject to music or vacations okay?

It's useless to try & reason with manchurian candidates.
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county worker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 12:18 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. Yes, I will do the same if need be.
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kestrel91316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 12:18 AM
Response to Original message
6. Smile and say, "Pass the stuffing, please."
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Divine Discontent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-25-11 03:51 AM
Response to Reply #6
26. love it! great way to say I think you're full of stuffing!
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Webster Green Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 12:22 AM
Response to Original message
7. Pepper spray.
Of course.
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 12:24 AM
Response to Original message
8. Ignoring my father
Trust me, it is pointless....
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no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 08:43 AM
Response to Reply #8
19. We must be going to the same Thanksgiving Dinner . . . .
My father is a virtual DVR of FOX News.
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Snotcicles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 12:24 AM
Response to Original message
9. Pick up my plate go sit in front of the TV and watch the Lions kick the Packers ass. nt
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yourout Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 12:33 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. Good luck with that.....The other turkey that is going to get carved up is the Kittys secondary.
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Snotcicles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 12:35 AM
Response to Reply #10
11. 1962 all over again. nt
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Yooperman Donating Member (123 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 02:32 AM
Response to Reply #9
14. Here ..Here... ! My sentiments exactly! Here in the U.P. there are just too many cheeseheads.
Some in my family... the Lions have to prevail.

:toast:
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Rowdyboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 12:36 AM
Response to Original message
12. We have Thanksgiving dinner with Republican neighbors who never mention politics....
We've been their guests for 5 years running now and they've never made us in any way uncomfortable. We live in a state where 90% of our neighbors are conservative Republicans and these guys are the absolute best of the bunch. I look forward to their hospitality.

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drm604 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 12:41 AM
Response to Original message
13. My cousin and her crazy rightwing husband won't be there.
I seriously think he's become slightly unbalanced from overexposure to Rush or Faux or wherever it is he gets his ideas from.

But he won't be there so I won't have to sit there and bite my tongue for the sake of my mother (who doesn't agree with him but doesn't like family disharmony).

Their daughter is married now and living in New England with her husband and they will be going there, hopefully for every Thanksgiving from here on.
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MedicalAdmin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 05:35 AM
Response to Reply #13
18. Your mother is an enabler.
Edited on Thu Nov-24-11 05:36 AM by MedicalAdmin
Too bad. My mom would have made sushi out of any organ meat she carved out of the blathering idiots.
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drm604 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 09:41 AM
Response to Reply #18
21. No one wants this idiot to start ranting.
I suspect even his wife wishes he would shut up sometimes.

And really, I think he's a case where it would be a wasted effort anyway. Arguing with him would just upset everyone and not make a dent in his opinions.

I agree that we should try to change people's thinking but this guy is, I believe, a lost cause, at least without professional help.

He did not used to be like this, he didn't talk politics at all and seemed like a nice guy. I think he may truly have a mental health issue.

I'm not going to destroy a nice family get together trying to reason with someone who needs professional help.
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TalkingDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 10:24 AM
Response to Reply #21
23. If he's mentally ill, you are right, there is no arguing. But enabling is a different thing.
If you or your mom want to stop enabling, you simply tell the person that the subject is not suitable for dinner conversation. Then, when they continue, repeat yourself. Either they will take the hint or they won't.

If they do, good. If they don't then you stand up and say: I sincerely apologize, but I find the conversation distressing. I am going to leave now.

Then do it.

If you resolve to do this the matter will be resolved settled, without rancor, if the man is in any way of a right mind.

In the past I've dealt with an "unsteady" relative this way when they insisted on pursuing a line of conversation that was .... unhelpful. The behavior was changed in just one interaction.

The rules:

Make your statement calmly and in a timely and appropriate fashion. In other words, don't wait until you are irritated.

Don't get pulled into the conversation. Just repeat your statement.

Give them a fair warning. Something like: If you continue this line of conversation, I'm afraid I'm going to have to excuse myself. -It upsets my digestion- which is true.

The next time they start or if they continue, you simply stand up and say, I apologize, but I need to leave. The subject matter is distressing. Excuse me.

Then go away. Don't come back to the table until the offending person comes to you to assure you that the topic is closed. Don't sulk, don't pout. Don't be flip. Just be an adult who is making your wishes known.

It really is like dealing with a child. You can't let your feelings get in the way of setting an example and teaching a lesson.

But you must be prepared to miss dinner. That will probably only happen once. Most people can take the hint and if they can't, other people will let them know after that.
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drm604 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 11:42 PM
Response to Reply #23
25. He doesn't attempt to continue the conversation if he's not goaded.
Someone will say something (usually something relatively innocent) that sets him off and he'll loudly and angrily blurt out something like "I hate it when people say that, blah blah yadda yadda yadda". That's the point where everyone just shuts up and changes the subject and he quiets down. You can call that enabling if you want. I call it keeping the peace at a family get together.

It irks me that he probably thinks he won the point, but I don't want to be seen as part of the disruption by challenging the guy.

Honestly, I wouldn't even deal with that part of the family if it wasn't for my mother. I'm pretty sure she thinks he's an idiot but she loves her cousin (his wife) and her cousin's daughters (by a different husband) so she wants to keep those ties.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 03:07 AM
Response to Original message
15. I avoid large family gatherings to avoid just that.
Edited on Thu Nov-24-11 03:07 AM by Jamastiene
I have a second cousin who praises Hitler and complains about black people in the grocery stores to anyone he recognizes. He only did it once to me and I laid into him. My aunt pulled me off of him and told me to let her handle it. She said basically the same thing to him that I was saying, only nicer, and we both walked away.

Since then, I have learned not to make eye contact with him and to slip away out of view if I spot him. That way he never starts in with his shit to piss me off again. It would cause a big stink on his side of the family if I lit into him again.

He does it JUST to piss off the family, because he knows our side of the family doesn't agree with him and his side of the family.

To be completely honest, I could choke him and not feel one iota of guilt for it. He's a fucking asshole.

Others in my family are farmers who are still pro-Reagan after all these years. They didn't ever learn who was fucking them over. They blamed the Democrats. We hardly ever see them any more, though. They live up in the mountains and we speak once every few years.

Otherwise, the rest of my family just hates all politicians and wishes the government would provide social programs for those in need, take whatever taxes they need to run those programs, and stay the fuck out of our private lives the rest of the time. I'm at the point where I basically agree.

I would go one step further and say why do we have to "file" taxes? They take money out of every pay check. Why don't they calculate what the amount really is and take it, then leave us the fuck alone the rest of the time? Why do we have to go through their maze of bullshit forms to calculate how much we really owe them every stinking year? It's bullshit. They should just calculate the shit, take what they want and let us live our lives. Why should we have to correct their mistakes at the end of every year? They make shit too complicated.



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Smarmie Doofus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 03:18 AM
Response to Original message
16. See if there's any of that super-tasty Harvey's Bristol Creme...
... left in the fridge.
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saras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 03:37 AM
Response to Original message
17. Cranberry sauce in a Super Soaker. THEN explain that hate speech isn't appropriate at Thanksgiving.
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HillWilliam Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 09:18 AM
Response to Original message
20. waaalllll, now
I'll just whup out my Defense Technology 56895 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray and bring those whining sods into line!

It's appropriate for the dinner table: it's a food product yannow!

:evilgrin: :rofl:

Oh, and PS: if you haven't read the reviews, treat yourself. They're f'ing hysterical.
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TalkingDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 10:05 AM
Response to Original message
22. Slip them an emetic early on. Blame it on bad appetizers.
They go home. Problem solved.
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-24-11 10:27 AM
Response to Original message
24. We're probably going to have dinner with a RW relative this weekend
My MIL has already been put on notice that it's her duty to keep him from talking politics. If she fails, however, I'm fully prepared to tell him "We don't consider it polite to discuss politics, religion or bodily functions over dinner."
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WillParkinson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-25-11 07:33 AM
Response to Original message
27. It's easy at my house...
I was alone till Paul came home. We just had dinner and watched "Bones" until bedtime.
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