The woman who I got my kitty Ashley from called and wants him back...

[joeybee12]

She's not the one who found him, but she picked him up from the woman who found him and told me she couldn't keep him either, so I said give him to me and I'll find him a home. Anyway, I'm in love with him now. When I took him I asked her if she was sure she didn't want to keep him for a few days and see how it works, and she said she couldn't afford him. She's one of the crazy cat ladies from where I volunteer. Anyway, we did ask one person if she was interested in adopting, and the crazy cat lady got involved and quashed that saying she wasn't acceptable. Either me keeping him or a different home will be better than this woman getting him back, and I'm tempted to just not answer my phone. He's made himelf at home here and if I give him back I'm sure she will call again in a few days saying it isn't working out and he'll be bounced around again.

Advice?

Thanks.

[Vinnie From Indy]

1. Tell her no way!

Cheers!

[roguevalley]

46. possession is nine points of the law they say. Keep it. What a tool.

anyone who would do that I wouldn't trust to do right by the kitteh.

[FSogol]

2. Tell her the cat was adopted by a nice home and you are unable to give out their phone number or

address. Refer her to the local shelter for more info.

[Warpy]

28. I wouldn't refer her to the shelter

I'd just say he was adopted and it's against rules to give out phone numbers. As long as Ashley's an indoor kitty and she's not ever a house guest, there should be no problem.

She doesn't need to know the nice family who adopted him and doesn't want to be contacted is you.

My answer might be different if she'd had him for months and had bonded with him, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

[Maat]

3. You have no obligation to give the cat back.

Keep him.

[fegi052li]

10. +1

[the other one]

4. Keep the cat!

You don't need any excuses, and the cat needs stability. Just tell them you are sorry and give them the address of the nearest shelter.

Congratulations on your new cat!

[virgdem]

5. Don't answer when she calls...

Possession is 9/10 of the law. Do you have Vet bills for the cat? If so, that will establish ownership. Also, keep your cat food bills to substantiate ownership. She sounds unstable and it would be a mistake to give the cat to her. Go with your gut on this one.

[ellenfl]

33. actually, possession is 9 points of the law, not 9/10s. keep the cat. eom

[virgdem]

49. Actually, the expression is correct as I stated...

According to the Free Dictionary, the following colloquial expression is correct:

Possession is nine-tenths of the law.
Prov. If you actually possess something, you have a stronger legal claim to owning it than someone who merely says it belongs to him or her. Dana may say he owns this house, but we actually live in it, and possession is nine-tenths of the law.

[ellenfl]

65. i guess the free dictionary knows more than my law professors. eom

[virgdem]

67. Maybe your law professors have it wrong...

I've always heard the expression as I stated. I looked it up online to verify and I found several references that stated that "9/10 of the law" was the correct expression.

[ellenfl]

68. and i have found otherwise. i guess if it's on the internet it's right.

people say 'irregardless' but that too is a bastardization that has come into common usage.

use it as you will. no skin off my nose.

ellen fl

[virgdem]

69. A very thin skinned response...

I'm not trying to argue with you, but you took me to task for getting it wrong, which I am not. Here's a suggestion:

Ask your Law Professors to look up the term "possession" in Black's Law Dictionary (I have the 6th Edition, page 1164) wherein it gives various definitions for the term possession. At the bottom of the page, there is a paragraph that states the following:

Possession is nine-tenths of the law. This adage is not to be taken as true to the full extent, so as to mean that the person in possession can only be ousted by one whose title is nine times better than his, but it places in a strong light the legal truth that every claimant must succeed by the strength of his own title, and not by the weakness of his antagonist's.

If Black's Law Dictionary isn't a good enough reference for you, then I rest my case.

[michaz]

6. Don't give the cat back. She is not suitable and that is all there is to it. n/t

[redwitch]

7. What they said upthread.

Keep the cat!

[ejpoeta]

8. well, if you already gave her the opportunity to keep her and she said no, then

the idea that she could claim her is ridiculous. If you were still looking for a home for her then I could see it, but if you are keeping her then you should keep her. Have you told the lady you have decided to keep her? If she doesn't like the idea of anyone adopting the cat then if you told her you were keeping her and THEN the lady said she wanted her back then I can see why.... If she wasn't aware you had decided to keep her then maybe just let her know you have decided to keep her. I mean, if the lady has a lot of cats already, it would be better for this cat to be in a place she can get individual attention.

[joeybee12]

12. I told her I had already bonded and wanted to keep her...

She told me where there are lots of other cats for adoption...I think I just won't answer and see if she gives up trying. She wants the kitten to play with another one she has, I think around 8 months, because that one is a problem and she wishes she never took her...big warning flag to me.

[Booster]

14. Well then, tell there are lots of other cats for adoption but you

and this kitty have bonded. Since she likes cats she should understand that. Ask her if she'll give you the other kitty and see what she says. Oh, I just read that she said that one is a problem. You don't want that one. lol Keep the kitty and tell her you're doing what's best for the kitty and that the kitty loves you too. If she doesn't understand that then she doesn't need any cats.

[RKP5637]

18. Yep!!! Big warning flag. It sounds like it would be a horrible environment for Ashley! n/t

[EFerrari]

19. If she was fit she'd know cats aren't interchangeable like car parts. nt

[pinto]

9. Just say no.

:hi:

[RKP5637]

11. Keep Ashley, it's clear he loves you very much and you love him very much. I'm not

convinced crazy cat ladies always give kitties a good home, often some of them are suffering from a void in their lives and fill it with cats. I'm not saying all of them, but I've seen enough cat hoarding here to know all are not good. I don't seen why she has first dibs on him anyway, she was just a go between and passed Ashley to you, and she didn't want him. I would tell her a firm NO.

[EFerrari]

13. If she bothers you, ask her how many cats she has.

[chill_wind]

15. Keep and love the kitty.

What everyone else said. Tell her you're both happily adjusted, kitty has a good home now. That was the whole point. A good home for the kitty.

[lucca18]

16. Tell her that you and Ashley have bonded.

Tthis should make her happy since she loves and cares about cats, and wants nothing but the best for this cat.
Tell her that Ashley has found her "forever" home!

[Rabblevox]

17. Don't give up Ashley!!!

Your love for him has shone though, and YOU are the one who stepped up in a tough situation.

KEEPS TEH KITTEH!

[The Philosopher]

20. Tell her no

And buy a gun!

[glinda]

21. NO! Keep kitty. Do not let kitty outside either. This lady sounds nuts enough to steal your baby.

[Zoeisright]

30. Plus ten billion.

Plus, outside cats live an average of 3-6 years. Indoor cats live 13-18 years.

[Booster]

38. All of my cats have been outdoor cats and they all lived well

beyond 10 yrs. One lived to 22 yrs.

[nenagh]

22. And while you are enjoying Ashley [lovely name]..

take a few pictures of Ashley asleep and/or enjoying your home...

Ashley sounds like a very lucky feline to have you :)

[aquart]

23. NO. She has no claim on him whatsoever.

And there are ten thousand cats out there for her to choose.

NO rescuer takes a cat from a stable home. EVER.

She has just proven she is not a real rescuer. Stay away from her. This is about her, not the cat. And that ain't rescue.

[Riley18]

24. You have provided the kitty with a stable home when he

needed it the most and that makes you his family. Keep him safe and sound at home.

[TlalocW]

25. Next time she calls

Just tell her, "He was delicious," and "Thanks," and hang up. They won't bother you anymore.

TlalocW

[Rabblevox]

26. It seems the verdict is clear. 24 replies, ALL urging you to keep Ashley...

So the advice becomes...man-up and say oh hell no!

[xchrom]

27. It's Ashley who you have an obligation to -

Not her.

Her? You don't know from.

Ashley has a good life w/ you. End of story.

[Zoeisright]

29. Do not give the cat back. She sounds unstable.

Cats are very territorial, and that cat will develop behavioral problems if he's bounced around any more.

[kestrel91316]

31. I know from crazy cat ladies. DO NOT LET HER ANYWHERE NEAR HIM.

[joeybee12]

32. Thanks everyone, yeah, he's going nowhere, he's staying...

How to handle it is the big question...I guess I will just not answer her calls, and if she perists, I will tell her he's very happy here and I don't want him not feeling stable.

BTW, he is such a good kitten...he saw the big scratching post I have and went over and sharpened his claws on that...he knows what to do...he's cuddling with me right now, although he's starting to think about attacking the keyboard.

[MuseRider]

34. YAY!

There was just something about the way you talked about him, and the pictures. Congratulations to both of you, you have found each other.

Now I will worry about the "problem" cat the lady still has. Good grief, it is still just a kitten too. Hard to overcome being labeled a problem :(

[joeybee12]

53. I think her problem is that she thinks no one can do as good a job as she can...

That's why she said no to the woman who was thinking of adopting Ashley, even though she really had no say in the matter anymore.

[RKP5637]

54. Yea!!! Excellent decision to keep the kitty!!! My kitty when a baby used to

look under and around the monitor for where the pointer was when I slid it off the screen. His favorite was looking in the printer. Finally I got him to sit and look and not to stick little kitty paws into the printer.

[MuseRider]

55. I had some friends

whose kitty would go upstairs and turn the printer on just to watch and try to catch the paper that came out. Every day they would go upstairs and find printer paper on the floor and wonder why that happened then one day they caught him sitting on the printer hitting the print button over and over again. From then on they had to remember to shut that door or run upstairs to load paper before they printed something. :-) Have fun Joey!

[tblue37]

76. One of my cats used to turn my printer on because she liked to

"catch" the paper as it came out. The first two times she woke me up that way I didn't understand why my printer was turning itself on. Then I caught her doing it once during the day, so I unplugged it a few nights in a row to break her of the habit.

[joeybee12]

58. Scarlet and Melanie, who are 16, used to be fascinated by my old line printer

when they were kittens...they climbed up on it and batted the paper.

[femrap]

35. I don't understand

why this is just GLBT....don't we have a Pet/Animal Forum???

For Goddess' sake, we all know Animals are better than people, don't we?????

Of course you keep the cat and tell the Loon to STFU.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

45. cos we use this as our own lounge. to bond with people who

we like.

[femrap]

60. I'm

pretty much asexual and don't care who sleeps with whom as long as it's consensual. But I love the animals...smarter than humans.

Do you like Old Women Libbers? The Feminist Forum here has died due to so many vocal, strong women being tombstoned.

I don't fall prey to Society's attempt at 'Divide and Conquer.' That's why I've been so drawn to OWS.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

61. being lgbt is much more than who sleeps with whom

its about a strong form of identification and shared history. i hate when our identities our boiled down to sex, because thats not really the case.

ows?

[femrap]

62. I lived in SF, CA

during the '70's and '80's...the first wave of AIDS deaths under Raygun. All of my gay male friends died except one. We had wild parties (Bastille Day in '79 was a great one) and loved to dance and talk politics. Back in the '70's and '80's, sexuality was stressed more, I guess.

We connected on an individual basis, I guess. We shared common political views that were very much to the RADICAL LEFT.

I guess Old Maids/Spinsters don't have a strong form of identification and shared history. Story of my life....YOU DON"T FIT IN. Being a 'frumpy loner, stereotypically' (a clue from the NYT crossword puzzle a couple of weeks ago for 'Spinster'), I accept my status and enjoy the company of animals and Mother Nature to most humans of today.

Google OWS...it's been all over DU for weeks.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

63. sorry, i guess i didnt get the context of occupy wall street.

anyway, i didnt want to question why you were posting here. you are quite welcome to. i was just stating why we post non-lgbt specific stuff here :)

[jberryhill]

36. She can't just give out free pussy and not expect consequences

[BadGimp]

41. I could not have said it better myself

[Hissyspit]

71. I bought that book back in the 1980s!

I still have it somewhere. It was hilarious.

[firehorse]

37. Tell her to get bent. It's your cat now.

[rosesaylavee]

39. Keep the cat.

Ashley doesn't deserve to be moved yet again. Tell her its for the cats own sake that you do it. And stick to that story. It moves you out of the story and she will accept it better than if it was a property or you v her scenario.

[BadGimp]

40. say "NO CAT FOR YOU"

then offer her this as as a consolation prize ...



I'm goin to hell I just know it..

[Control-Z]

48. Yes. Lol. Yes you are!

And you'll have such great company there. I'm still laughing. That is the funniest, sickest, most adorable pic.

[MuseRider]

56. That is just too cute! n/t

[Hissyspit]

42. Been there, done that. Don't give up the cat.

[Kurmudgeon]

43. Keep the cat, kitty is yours now.

[roody]

44. Say, "Hell, no."

[Patchuli]

47. Sorry but Ashley is not a ping pong ball!

I say no way! He's your baby and it's just not fair to him to be bounced around either. There are plenty of kittens that need homes for 'crazy cat lady' to help. Maybe some of her fervor could be directed towards helping to get neuter/spay messages out so there will be no unwanted kitties who get passed around? I'd say Ashley has found his forever home...

[Rincewind]

50. When someone gives something away,

whether it is an inanimate object, or a pet, it is no longer theirs. She has no right to demand the kitten back. Also, shifting the kitten around from home to home, can have a bad effect on it. Some cats don't handle change well, and moving it to several different homes in a short period of time can cause the cat to never feel comfortable in whatever home he ends up in.

[tblue37]

77. Apparently it wasn't "hers" to begin with. She was just a temporary

waystation for the kitty.

[WillParkinson]

51. Let her know you've spent $$$ on the cat and you'd need to recoup it...

So she'll have to be willing to pay you x amount of dollars. If she didn't have money then it's likely she won't have it now either.

[joeybee12]

52. Good idea...he'll go to the vet this week and I'll send her the bill!

[Donnachaidh]

57. and also remind her that she stated she could not afford to keep it

So question her heavily about what has changed. Be super obnoxious about it -- ask for details and verification, especially if she gets insistant on getting the cat back.

[joeybee12]

59. Yeah, that's a big concern especially since food might only be part of the cost...

Cats often have medical needs...is she going to be able to handle that if and when the time comes?

[RetiredTrotskyite]

64. Keep the cat!

[dipsydoodle]

66. k & r

keep it and don' t lose any sleep over it - just love the kitty.

[Rowdyboy]

70. Yes. Tell her no, not for yourself but for the cat's sake

Please

[GodlessBiker]

72. Keep the cat. Only the former owner, if there is one, could maybe make a claim now.

That is, unless the former owner abandoned the poor animal.

[justiceischeap]

73. How to handle crazy cat lady when she calls

Crazy Cat Lady: You know that cat I said I couldn't afford to keep, I want her back.

joeybee12: I understand you want Ashley back, cause she's a great kitty and all but you can't have her. She's bonded with me and is really comfortable here and I don't want to disrupt her life again. Besides, just a week ago or so you said you couldn't afford to keep her and I've already spent $100+ just on her first vet visit, I mean that's not counting the good food I'll be feeding her and her follow-up vet visits and I don't want her to be a burden on your finances.

Crazy Cat Lady: But I want the cat back, I can afford her now.

joeybee12: Sorry, no and good-bye.

Click.

[joeybee12]

74. Should have read this before she called and I picked up!!!! nt

[justiceischeap]

75. Seems like you handled her just fine

I didn't follow the first thread on this closely but is she a borderline hoarder like someone else in your newer post suggested? If she does call the police on ya, I'd call animal control on her ass (even if she doesn't call the police). Hoarders need to be monitored 'cause they often do more harm than good for the kitties in their care.