God hates shrimp

[Christa]

This in oldie which never gets stale:


Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God's law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver's and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye's shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.

Leviticus 11:9-12 says:
9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

Deuteronomy 14:9-10 says:
9 These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat:
10 And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.


http://www.godhatesshrimp.com/



:evilgrin: :popcorn:

[no_hypocrisy]

1. I've always wondered why Christian fundamentalists don't keep a kosher kitchen.

[Christa]

2. I am so in the mood now

to suck the head

(of a shrimp) :rofl:

[kegler14]

4. How about a crawfish?

I once saw a poster in New Orleans that showed two huge crawfish sitting in front of a pile of small humans. Of course one of the crawfish was saying, "Do you suck da heads?"

I do.

[Huskerchub]

13. They use Acts 10:9-19

to justify eating the previously "unclean" animals:

On the morrow, as they went their journey, and drew near to the city, Peter went upon the housetop to pray about the sixth hour: and He became very hungry, and would have eaten; but while they made it ready, he fell into a trance, and saw heaven opened, and a certain vessel descending unto him, as it had been a great sheet knit at the four corners, and let down to the earth: wherein were all manner of four-footed beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air. And there came a voice to him saying, 'Rise, Peter; kill, and eat.'

But Peter said, 'Not so, Master, for I have never eaten anything that is common or unclean.'

And the voice spoke unto him again the second time, 'What Yahweh has cleansed, that call not common.' This was done three times: And the vessel was received up again into heaven.

Now while Peter doubted in himself what this vision which he had seen should mean, behold, the men which were sent from Cornelius had made inquiry for Simon's house, and stood before the gate, and called, and asked whether Simon, which was surnamed Peter, was lodged there. While Peter thought about the vision, the Spirit said unto him, 'Behold, three men seek you.'



Some conservative sects (Seventh Day Adventists at the top of the list) however say that this is a misinterpretation of these verses.

The vision of Peter was not pertaining to the eating of unclean beasts, fowls, and all creeping things, but it revealed to the Apostle in his vision the acceptance of other nations or Gentiles into True Worship. The declaration of the Apostle Peter himself in Acts 10:28 makes this clear:

"You know how that it is an unlawful thing for a man that is a Jew to keep company, or come unto one of another nation; but Yahweh has showed me that I should not call ANY MAN common or unclean."

The message is that Gentiles were to be accepted into the assembly and could become spiritual Israelites.

[kegler14]

3. They ARE an abomination -- so much so that

I'm eating as many as I can to try rid the world of their filthy presence.

[bluescribbler]

5. Damn

No more Jambalaya? No more Crawfish Etouffe? No more Oysters on the Half Shell? Damn.

[JonQ]

6. A delicius abomination

God must either A) have terrible taste, B) want to keep all the good stuff for himself or C) have a sick sense of humor.

If it were up to him there'd be no bacon cheeseburgers, cajun food, baby-back ribs, and so on. Sounds dreadful to me.

[jesus_of_suburbia]

9. I think it's choice *B*.... he wants to keep all the good stuff for himself.

[damntexdem]

7. But that seems so shellfish.

Still, I guess it seems reasonable to ask them to put some mussel behind their clams.

[tbyg52]

10. Is there a smiley for holding one's nose....? ;-> nt

[susanr516]

15. LOL!

Damn, I hope the beer I just spit doesn't fry my keyboard.

:spray: :rofl:

[Historic NY]

8. I'm going for oysters fried & breaded.

[RobertSeattle]

11. "Self-righteous Bible Cherry-pickers"

I saw this somewhere and saved it.

My Bible would be:
"Love your neightbor and do unto others as you'd have do unto you."

--- But that would put a whole lot of preachers out of work.

[zeemike]

12. I will kick and U it

just because I can.

[OneBlueSky]

14. yeah? . . . well what about Randy Newman? . . . and Gary Coleman? . . .

and Paul Williams, and Emmanuel Lewis, and all the folks on Little People, Big World? . . . does God hate them, too? . . .

just curious . . .

[cwydro]

16. Wow,

guess I'm double damned!:rofl:

[sui generis]

17. I've heard that god hates figs too.

:shrug: