A question about gender stereotypes in infants and toddlers.

[HuckleB]

OK. So, yeah, we're having a baby. And we've been sent some rather incredible baby clothing through an interesting grapevine. It's clothing I wore as an infant, some 36 years ago. One of the items has a train on it. A rather cutesy train, and yet when we showed the clothing to two other supposedly enlightened mothers to be last night, they both noted that this item wouldn't work "if it's a girl." I was shocked, and I replied, "WTF!" Further, they tried to argue that we would accept pink clothes for a girl, when my partner and I made it clear that we're just not "pink people." Neither of us have a stitch of pink clothing, so we're not going to dress our kid that way unless the kid chooses it later. It's a matter of choice for us, but it brought home just how ingrained the gender stereotyping of infants is in our culture. These are accepting, liberal folk who acted this way.

Anyway, I am trying to find articles and research pieces available on the net regarding gender stereotypes and infants and toddlers. My own search has been only semi-successful, so any help that ya'll can pass my way is appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Salud.

[chimpymustgo]

1. It's the last frontier. The very toughest, most ingrained stereotypes

which, indeed, we learn from infancy.

I dressed my daughter in all kinds of clothes - often shopping in the boy's dept. But I must confess, she was always "cute". with ribbons in her hair, though she might have trucks on her shorts.

Decorating her room: mea culpa. Pink. I love the color. Though now her room is blue, it's still pretty girlified.

That said, we as parents and adults definitely shove so much sh** on our kids, I think it's impossible to discern what is nature and what is nurture. My daughter played with trains and trucks and dolls and stuffed animals - everything. And every little boy who came to the house played with the dolls. Even did hair. Why? Cause they didn't have those toys at home.

I had a friend who turned down a gift of my white rocker with built-in footstool. She was having a boy and thought white furniture was "inappropriate".

Good luck. You will face gender stereotyping at every turn: your friends' homes, your child's school, playground, place of worship. But it looks like you two will give your child the love and the confidence to find his/her own way.

Sorry, I don't have any info (other than anecdotal). BTW, just go to a Toys R Us - notice the "action" aisles, vs the "pink" aisles. I haven't been there in a few years - maybe it's changed. Maybe.

[HuckleB]

3. Thanks! I needed a post like that.

You made my day!

Salud!

[UncleSepp]

2. Don't have any articles, but good for you

It's still bad. The most important difference between girl babies and boy babies is the way they pee, and they'll be doing a lot of that. Other than that...

Girl clothes aren't usually made to be played in. Little girls get dressed up like dollies for other people to ooh and ahh over. IMHO the objectification of women, and women's acceptance of that objectification, starts with treating girls like dolls.

Boy toys don't generally include generic people. If there's a person, it's going to be a character-based action figure. I think that men's diminished empathy may begin with boys not being encouraged to imagine what another being may be thinking and feeling.

On a personal note, frilly dresses and pink were humiliating to me as a child. Good for you for going with generic clothes until the child is old enough to express a preference, and for wanting to go with the child's preference. Now will you please go back in time and talk with my mom? :-)

[HuckleB]

6. Thanks.

After last night, we can use all the encouragement we can get. Sometimes what we think sounds like common sense seems to be so out of whack with the rest of the world that we begin to feel a bit lonely. Thank goodness for DU. You folks rock!

Salud!

[noamnety]

4. I think dressing girls appropriately is important

The most appropriate clothes are durable and comfortable, and don't get in the way of having fun.

Also, I'd lean toward dark colored shirts in the first year, based on my experience with vitamin drops that stained light colored shirts instantly when spit up.

We bought a lot of my daughter's clothes at Once Upon a Child because I don't see the reason to buy them new. She had green corduroy overalls with basketballs, elmer fudd hats, knit dresses with hiking boots, whatever looked good at the time. She isn't a cheerleader and doesn't have manicured nails, but she speaks a few languages, and knows how to handle a dagger, throw pots, and play a half dozen instruments, so I guess she turned out okay.

[HuckleB]

5. Yeah, we've scoped out the consignment shops.

They've got some great quality stuff for almost nothing. Why go anywhere else indeed. I suspect our focus on clothing will be for durability and comfort. We're way too active for it to be anything else. Dark colors sound right.

Salud.

[One_Life_To_Give]

7. Historically there wasn't a difference

My understanding is that up till not quite a hundred years ago. There was very little difference between the dresses worn by young boys and girls. Except for some additional ribbon used on occasion.

[yardwork]

8. You have the right idea!

The gender stereotyping in the marketing of children's clothes is terrible. It's bad for everybody, but I think it's especially limiting right now for girls.

I have boys (young teens now) so I haven't had as much to contend with in finding sensible clothes. Parents of girls talk about how hard it is to find anything that isn't pink or purple and midriff-baring - and these styles start at about age two!

Dress your baby in comfortable, easy to wash and wear clothing that lets the baby be active. Continue doing that as long as the child will let you. At some point their own opinion will take over, and you may find yourself the parents of a girl (or boy) who wants to wear pink.

I guarantee that your child will find something to love that appalls and surprises you - but there's no need to let well-meaning but misguided friends, family, and strangers define your choices, now or ever.