Poll finds homosexuals should burn in the fires of hell. (satire)

[LeftHander]

A resounding 98% of congregants in the three largest evangelical mega-churches in America, Freedom Valley Christian Church, Elmbrook Liberty Church and Battle Ground Freedom Church agreed that teh gays should repent or burn in the eternal fires of damnation. The other 2% stated they should skip the repenting and simply be set on fire.

The study was conducted by "Focus on the Scourge of Homosexuals", a organization funded by billionaire Wilford D. Cormorant. Cormorant also is a major contributor to all three mega-churches. His name adorns a 600 room dormitory, 35,000 seat worship stadium, Creation Science Learning and Shooting Sports Complex at the respective churches.

Freedom Valley Church Executive Byron Farquart in a phone interview said he knew nothing of the study or the soon to be released commercials and refused to comment further on the church's relationship with Mr. Cormorant stating, "Those pictures were destroyed years ago!" and hung up on the interviewer.

Cormorant could not be reached for comment on the study.

[Deep13]

1. God will punish you for the way he made you.

God needs to stay on his meds.

[lazer47]

2. Before you burn in Hell, they would also like to "torture" that much needed

confession from you, and get you to repent your wicked ways, and then they can rest assured in their wonderful utopian world that you will burn in hell,,,,,

[TechBear_Seattle]

3. Cormorant? You know that the same species is called a shag, right?

From the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cormorant">Wikipedia article for Cormorant:

There is no consistent distinction between cormorants and shags. The names "cormorant" and "shag" were originally the common names of the two species of the family found in Great Britain, Phalacrocorax carbo (now referred to by ornithologists as the Great Cormorant) and P. aristotelis (the Common Shag). "Shag" refers to the bird's crest, which the British forms of the Great Cormorant lack.

Nice bit, well done!

[LeftHander]

4. wink wink...nudge nudge....say no more.