Writing My First Novel -- Have A Question --

[Tuesday Afternoon]

In regards to the legalities. Please PM for details. Thanks.

[Orrex]

1. Can you give us a hint? The legalities of what?

Are you naming names?
Are you publishing trade secrets?
Are you revealing movie spoilers?
Are you writing a tell-all unauthorized biography?
Are you writing something that might infringe on another's work?

Give us a clue, at least!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

2. Thanks for responding --

May I send you a PM? Thanks.

[Orrex]

3. Absolutely not. No way. Forget it.

Over my dead body, and all that.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

4. >_<

Too Late :rofl:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

5. I don't get it --

I AM hungry.
Hungry to enrich life with warm closeness, to cook up and enjoy quiet dinners together. For mutual understanding captured from time spent together and time talking. Hands warming hands. Time spent by candle light instead of electricity. Time needing air after dancing close, or sharing warmth gazing at stars, or on a mountaintop. Time spent hiding together in some other picturesque place, enjoying sunlit or moonlit scenic solitude. I am hungry for time spent with a chosen someone, seeking our connection to the accompaniment of the created beauty around us, spent with each other, hearing the rushing sounds of water, enjoying the exhilaration of a gallop, the rustle of autumn color around our feet, or feeling the overwhelming and blissful relaxation of warm oiled hands massaging, driving out all else but peaceful comfort . . .
And:
I am creative in everything, and passionate about much. I can be impishly playful, or terribly serious.
I am a sincere, and I care, though not always carefully. I have little patience for deceit, and long for the truth, all the more as a subject comes closer to myself or to those I care about.
I cook like a chemist, and frequently to the delight of companions. Dinner is usually boring when just cooking for myself! What is truly special is retiring after a sumptuous feast of dinner and good company for cozy conversation with wine, warmth, or hands in hand (or all of the above!). It is far better than doing dishes. Sure, I'll do the cleanup, but not right then. Let's enjoy the atmosphere and warmth of a meal, and save the after for after the rest wears off!!
I love to be immersed in beauty, and gentle touch is a beautiful thing.
Will you dance with me?!

ME: Hello. Got a pic?

1st reply:
I'm not sure whether drinking coffee while the birds came to breakfast at the feeders in a place like that, or laying on the rock to watck the night sky would be more awesome. I have a thing for the sound of water over rocks, but am like a kid when an unusual bird or critter shows up!
When I take trips, I like to find spots to get away from the city's craziness.
Where do you like to go?
Do you like to dance?
Would you like to meet a person who wants to move slowly . . .?
My friends call me . . . It's a long story that perhaps I could share with you sometime.
Perhaps we might start with you calling me that too?

My reply:
You sound really nice. Do you have a picture? Do you plan on divorcing? Where is ____________? I am afraid we might argue about religion and politics. Maybe that is not a good thing.

His response:
Thank you for your note!
A heartfelt and open letter just disappeared when I went to your questions for a way to close. One of your pictures reminded me of Snowy River, which appealed to me in a lot of ways. Then I went back to close, and ouch!
This trying to be real about feelings through a keyboard is the pits. I'm sorry, but I need to crash rather than risk what I might do if I try again without some sleep.
It has been a challlenging few days. If you put up with me, I'm sure I'll tell you about them. OK??
I wrote to you to describe myself, my old truck, about cooking, wanting sometimes to just get away and do the pieces I am carrying in my head. It is frustrating to have it vanish with a click!
And i asked you in words I had to reflect on about wanting to get to know you a while.
I hope to hear from you again.
I'm not sure why I think so, but would would like to see if this one is as gentle as it seems from my first impression!

My reply:
Too bad you lost the original letter...sounded nice. Are you in the _______ area? How long have you been separated? Do you plan to divorce? Can you post a picture? It would be nice to put a face to the words.

His response:
There are a lot of very emotional things converging in my life right now.
I'm not sure how to answer your questions is the honest answer, and my dad is slipping away. 12/7 would have been his 88th birthday.
I can't blame you for your questions. I am sort of a private person.
Would you be open to talking on the phone? I sense that you are seeking more than what I can offer right now, and it is probably too risky for either of us to try to build more than friendship, considering.
At the same time, who knows what time may bring? This is all very new to me, and I am uncertain as to the best way to suggest we handle it.
After reading your post, I've hoped we could talk, but haven't known how to be fair to both of us.
What do you think?

My reply:
Friends are good things. You can call me at _____________ .
That is my cell.
I am sorry to read about your father.
Still no picture?


Observation at this point...The separated ones write the most passionate profiles. Wonder why?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

6. oil and water

sorry. You lied.

If I agree then it goes unsaid, if I disagree it just proves your point. Either way...you are entitled to your opinions. One day I will reach past the point of caring what you think.

So good to have someone support you while you take time to find and/or reinvent yourself. What a luxury.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

7. I wonder if

being right
keeps you warm
alone at night

I wonder if
you told her
everything

Does she know
it all
Does she know anything

I wonder how she finds it in her heart
To keep it together
when it was falling apart

I wonder why you kept going back to her
I wonder why she allowed you to return

I wonder if this is truly the mark of a good and successful marriage.
In the end the staying together, the outlasting.

The Quantity over the Quality.
The years. The time.
what kind of woman she must be

I wonder why you think you have all this time.
Time means nothing to you.
As if there is no God.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

8. ---

can't stop crying. I am such a fucking baby. I hate myself. God forgive me, I hate myself. I am a miserable excuse for a human being. I am a waste of bandwidth. I am not worth the polluted air I breathe or the exceedingly precious water I consume. I wonder if the pain ever goes away.

[Why Syzygy]

9. what's going on?

Is this fiction?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

10. ---

Not exactly...Just trying to keep some thoughts and ideas together. Is it readable? Is it crap? Would it sell? Are you interested in what happens next? Could you care about these characters and want to spend more time with them?

[Orrex]

11. Many factors

First some answers:

It's definitely readable.

It's not crap.

But I'm not sure that it would sell.



In order to sound true to life, this kind of modern epistolary fiction must necessarily be made up of quick and casual e-missives back and forth, but that imposes a problematic limitation upon you. I think that you've achieved the realism of the exchange, but the trick comes in inspiring the reader to invest in either character.

It's difficult to develop a sense of them from a series of very brief snippets. If the entirety of the text is to be an email-based dialog, then I confess that I wouldn't be able to read more than a dozen pages of it, and a novel-length format would seriously diminish your reader base.

However, if the story also takes place in the world beyond the internets, you'll be better able IMO to get the readers to empathize with at least one of the two correspondents.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

12. I have TONS more

this is just a dumping ground for some extra stuff...thanks for the input!!

I MEAN TONS MORE...the rapid exchange, GOT IT :D

edited to correct a typo, and to ask...does post #7 stand alone as a poem?

[Why Syzygy]

22. yes,

I think #7 could be classified as stand alone poetry.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

23. thanks for the feedback

sometimes a cathartic process is not necessarily "good" literature. A lot of bad poetry has been written as the person gets it out of their system. I thought #7 might have been one example of such a process. I think in honor of this exchange I will title the poem: #7 :D

[Tuesday Afternoon]

13. Taking the easy way out ---

Stay home with your substitute Momma. You have found your womb and you are not MAN enough to come out of it. I am thinking you are truly a chicken shit rat bastard and I am better off without you. You are not the man I thought you were...of course I guess I never was anything but a fantasy to you ...therefore I never was the woman you thought I was. I was always just a diversion.

this is not part of the book. This is just me working out the frustration of it all. I guess you guys are witnessing the process.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

14. It feels good to let him have the last word.

He called yesterday and left a message. I will not be calling him back. I have nothing to say to this girly-man.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

15. When I meet my Shrek he will accept the ogre in me--

that is how I will know it is true love and not just a fantasy.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=gUyu5prWjTE

[Tuesday Afternoon]

16. Dear Diary,

I just have to tell someone!! I might be going to NYC for the Christmas Holidays. I am really excited at the prospect. It is one of my all-time favorite cities. If I were rich I would live there. Keep your fingers crossed for me. TA

PS - How does one expect to make friends on here when they put a person on PM ignore? I wonder if I am the only one to be honored, or does everyone gets to bask in the glory.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

17. Dear Diary,

nevermind. I never could keep a diary.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

18. ---

I thought he was different.
I thought he was the one.
I guess he thought I was different.
I guess I am not the one.

I thought we were different.
I thought he was my friend.

I thought he was my friend.
I thought he was my friend.

I think he was a friend.

I have had friends like that before.
They aren't my friends anymore.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

19. For someone who says they don't like to argue, I sure see you

posting a lot of antagonizing posts.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

20. Dear Diary,

I have a new crush...le~sigh. He is my hero :loveya:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

21. Dear Diary,

If I had known it would cost me a light and breezy public friendship, I would never have initiated contact privately. Perhaps this is what I regret most of all. The whole dynamic of the board has changed, and will never be the same for me. In the end, I lost my name and persona and whatever fragile support system, I had. Pitiful, that it means so much to me, but there it is.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

24. Dear Diary,

I hate this. I hate it. Why am I here?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

25. Dear Diary,

What I truly do not understand is why he insists on posting here? Is it to rub my face in it? After last night, it sure feels that way. I am trying to take the high road and avoid him, as he requested. There have been comments that I could not ignore and some were made last night that I should not have ignored, but I did. He could make it easier on me. He always said he was leaving, I guess that is a lie as well. I find it hard to believe anything the man says anymore. I find it hard to like his candidate. Matter of fact, I like his candidate in spite of, and NOT because of what he has to say.

Another thing that surprises me is how naive people are on here. They act like all this just happened. I have seen it being built brick by brick for years. Where were these people?

In the end, above it all -- the man can write. So, he takes poetic license. Don't we all? I always did admire his writing ability. Though, I think his established reputation on here does help him to some degree. Name recognition does have it advantages. How well I have learned that fact over the past few months!

Wonder if he would get the same response under another name...

I grow weary of being alone. I will settle for companionship. I feel I have no other choice.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

26. Dear Diary,

He does not like seeing the person I have become. He does not understand that: what is now, was not meant to be. He does not realize that I am working him out of my system in order to let some one new come into my heart. I did not want it to be this way. I honor his wishes. I would give anything to be the girl I was before I met him. I can not turn back time, and undo what has been done. I must find my way. I must find a way to go on without him. I will. I am. I do, walk on. Going forward and slightly to the left. Same direction I was travelling when I met him, only older and wiser for the experience.

[Name removed]

27. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

28. Dear Diary,

God forgive me. I am such a picky bitch. He just ended his headline with a preposition. Shine it on. Meanwhile, in the good news department, I heard from my Captain. Exotic locations and mysterious assignments. Here, I sit alone with my broken arm. wo0t.

[Orrex]

29. Something unexpected here

I mentioned upthread that I'm not a fan (nor an informed critic) of epistolary fiction, and so I expected that your project would be lost on me.

However, reading what you've posted so far, I realize that you're actually heading in a direction much different from what I'd expected.

In your OP, you sort of set up the novel as an interaction between the female character and the male character, whom I will for these purposes distinguish from the real you and the real guy. But as it turns out, the least interesting passage so far is Post #5. It reads as a fairly standard exchange between two people getting to know each other virtually, but not as much more. That's fine, of course, but in the long run it doesn't pack the punch that I now suspect the story possesses.

Much more interesting to me are the introspections of the female character. Even inasmuch as I don't especially care for journal-style fiction, I find that the self-recriminations and the outright disgust conveyed in Posts 8, 13, 14, and 21 are much more dynamic in terms of character than what we see in the exchange between the two people. 14 is especially strong because it entails the simple irony of her "letting" him have the last word only to slip in a zinger at the end. That snippet is also nice because it really sounds as though she's desperate to convince herself of the sentiment; that plus the irony amounts to a lot of baggage to pack into a one-line excerpt.

Another interesting facet I see here is that much of what's in the diary entries could easily be either apostrophe to the male character or condemnation of self. Post 19, for example, as well as 24.

There's something undeniably voyeuristic about peeping into someone's personal and interpersonal exchanges, if only for the obvious reason that we get (what we believe to be) an unvarnished glimpse of the real character, including her fears, strengths, and weaknesses. Stylistically, I think that the prose here might be a bit more striking if we saw a greater gulf between the protagonist's private and public voices; since the public exchange is somewhat generic, we miss out on the opportunity to assess the contrast between what she conveys (or tries to convey) to others and what she puts down unvarnished on the page when she thinks that she'll be the sole reader. Of course, if her intent in her public exchange is to portray herself as artificially generic, then there's a lot more going on, and we should get the chance to see it!

I also mentioned upthread that you risk losing some of your readership if you go for a novel-length diary excerpt or an exchange of missives. I still think that that's true, but you've also presented an interesting structure that I believe to hold an as yet untapped possiblity:

A long string of diary entries on the same subject begins to risk sounding like obsession, and unless that's what you're aiming for, you may want to proceed down that path with great caution. Instead, you might consider having the protagonist actually speak with and/or interact with a third character who is either more openly sympathetic to her plight or else a neutral-seeming sounding-board. Not a therapist or a psychologist, because that would be trite, but perhaps a female friend or a platonic male friend, or even a sibling. That way you could reduce the risk of seeming obsessive-to-the-point-of-isolation, and you also allow the opportunity for feedback, or at the very least you show that the protagonist is capable of having a normalish human interaction. Otherwise, the reader is eventually forced to think either:

Gee, she seems nice, so why does she isolate herself via virtual correspondence?

or

Gee, she seems crazy, so it's no wonder that she isolates herself via virtual correspondence!

At this point, it's hard to determine which is your intent, and the text doesn't really incline the reader one way or the other.

Again, I'm speaking solely of the fictional woman and fictional man, without making any comment about the real you or the real guy. Please don't construe my remarks as actual interpersonal advice or as a criticism of your personality, which I certainly don't intend!



Keep at it, whether or not you continue to post your progress here. It's already demonstrated more interesting potential than I would have expected from the choice of format, so I'm curious to see where you go with it.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

30. Thanks for the input...

I admit to getting obsessive about the female character. I have considered bringing in a female best friend...perhaps I tell her snippets over lunch...?

The male/female dialog is a ton more that I will not post. I think I am trying to find a way to wrap this story up. I think that is what you are witnessing here.

You are reading the ending. The beginning is not here. The exchange above was a possible beginning. I have decided to go with another one. I will not post it on public forum.

I am concerned about copyright protection on here. Should I be?

Let me know when you update your wizard. Is he sad and lonely, and down on his luck? Will he and the waitress fall in love? Will magic be involved?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

31. The more we talk --

seems like
the less we communicate.

Seems to me
that a little less talk
and a lot more action
is what we need.

[Orrex]

36. Interesting levels at play here

A lot is packed into 27 words. You've got an allusion to Elvis, an obvious sexual implication, and a sort of plea for resolution. Again, it's hard to tell whether she's addressing him directly or speaking/writing to herself, and again I think that the ambiguity works here.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

32. Dear Diary,

How do you know you are tolerant until you tolerate something of which you are not tolerant?

Why can't they just freeze the ARM's?

If one is not for healing the world, then aren't they by default, for hurting the world?

I understand that Bush and Cheney are guilty of impeachable offenses, but is it really the best way to spend valuable time and money?

If we brought our boys (and girls) home and put them to work here (like in New Orleans) couldn't we save money on our defense budget? Possibly enough to fund all our other progams...thereby allowing us to do everything we want without raising taxes plus implementing a health care program for ALL.

I don't understand...it just seems to be so simple. Perhaps, I am the simple minded one.

In Peace~TA

[Tuesday Afternoon]

33. Dear Diary,

He really did me a favor.
I see that now.

He is a sad and bitter man.
He is intolerant and unsympathetic to other people.

He is not working.
He is being supported by his son and his wife.

I just keep focusing on his negatives.

I understand why I would be good for him.
His journal and his writing were already showing improvement, thanks to me.
I would never let him have gone to the greatest page with those grammatical errors. He would have learned from me. I would have expanded his horizons. He could have taught me things about music and politics and history.

That he disabled his journal is very telling.

I was good for him.
I demanded of him to be the best man he could be.

He is too lazy to live up to his potential.
His wife allows him to wallow in his misery.
She would have allowed him to participate in a very dangerous drug study for a mere $1800.oo.
That should tell him what she thinks he is worth.
That he can not see this, shows me that he is not as smart as he thinks he is.
That he would have done it, shows me how little he values his own life.

I have learned that when I start to pity a man, I have paradoxically lost respect for the man.

I have to respect the man I love.
I have to be proud of him.

I want the best of him, as I would hope that he would want the best of me.

I grieve for the lost potential of what we could have been.

[Orrex]

37. Poignant and revealing, with a touch of irony

She states that he's done her a favor, and it soon becomes apparent that the "favor" was that he left her. As a piece of narrative, this is a nicely conceived and nicely executed moment of irony, since you don't spell it out for the reader.

But there's an air of the unhealthy here, too; an uneven relationship in which only one person is "good for" the other is flawed from the outset. Her repetition of the sentiment suggests that she enjoyed the role, even if it was ultimately damaging to her.

Her pain at the loss of a doomed relationship is very human, very real, and very vulnerable. Her tone here suggests that she's intellectualizing about the loss, recounting why, exactly, she's better off without him and how, exactly, he's generally a screw-up. Yet still she grieves for the loss.

What's most interesting is that she herself has explicitly identified the fatal weakness in the relationship ("when I start to pity a man, I have paradoxically lost respect for the man"), but her protracted lingering over the failed affair suggests that a part of her still longs for what they shared (or might have shared).

She's therefore a more complicated character than was initially evident in her first passages. Rationally, she knows that she's better off now, but emotionally she takes little consolation from that fact. The simultaneous interplay between these two warring motivations makes her much more interesting than simply a heartsick woman scorned.

Interesting, indeed!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

34. Dear Diary,

When I think how the spirit world wanted me to take, yet again, another broken, beaten man; I grow afraid of my intuition. I am actually thankful that he, for whatever reason, dumped my dumb ass. I can not repair this wounded man, I can not save his soul or salve his beaten spirit. Gravity would have won. He would have brought me down to his level a whole lot easier than I could have ever picked him up.

I know I gave him back to the spirit world, Thank God the ceremony worked. The "how" of it all doesn't really matter. Just my own damn curiosity, will be the undoing of me.

Come on January 8, 2008! I am ready!

[Orrex]

38. Hmm... She reflects further on her role as benefactor, as healer

It's interesting that she abdicates a certain amount of self-determination here, when she reflects upon what the spirit world wanted. This can suggest a person who has come face to face with an overwhelming crisis and who therefore seeks the assistance of a power outside herself (whether or not such a power really exists is, interestingly, not as important as her choice to beseech it).

There is a suggestion of finality and of hope, with the possibility that she will soon be rid of him in a way that she currently is not; regardless of their split, she is very much dependent upon the shell of a relationship that they shared.


Not sure what January 8 means, except another Elvis reference. Curious...

[Orrex]

40. So what happens on January 8?

Inquiring minds want to know!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

35. Dear Diary,

Damn it to hell. He gives me such excellent setups for DUzies and I just let them slide. Damn it to hell. I owe him no favors, do I? Why don't I just go for the joke? x(

[Tuesday Afternoon]

39. around here --

The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions, running down their friends, side-stepping responsibility, and pushing their luck!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

41. The speices will suffer and succumb to stupidity.

This line needs work.

[Orrex]

42. For one thing, you misspelled "species!"

:evilgrin:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

43. awww sheesh

typo, honest. end result mis-spelled word. I want more "s" alliteration in the line. :hi:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

44. Another line needing work

I would rather hear heated hated passion from the heart, than a cold and souless indifferent truth.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

45. remember this --

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth. - Marcus Aurelius

[Tuesday Afternoon]

46. writing assignment --

to write a dream sequence in order to get to the emotional center of a story, where your characters' experiences are particularly eidetic.

From the north, the white light essence entered through my bathroom window and hovered at the side of my bed. A calming presence who wanted only to allay my fears.


to be continued...

[Tuesday Afternoon]

47. Does anymore need to be said?

I wondered why he licked and nibbled on my hand in times of
stress. I wondered why he crawled down the hallway and barked like a dog when the rest of my children walked, skipped or ran to the bathroom. DSS found him, his sister and his baby brother locked in a spare room with a dog. Evidently, they had been there for days. Now I understand.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

48. me write pretty some day.

MsConduct.

Why doesn't this place make good use of the Mental Health Support Forum? Why does this place have all these forums if the Mods are not going to direct the threads to where they belong?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

49. consideration for sigline:

I'm gonna post this and I don't give a fuck who is offended by this comment!!

[Orrex]

50. I think that you'll need to give LynneSin her authorial credit!

She's boundlessly quotable!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

51. I will be glad to do it --- no problem at all --- signed

LynneSin 01/29/08

[Tuesday Afternoon]

52. another sentence

What once impressed me, now disgusts me.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

53. The Ignore function is

DU's version of rose-colored glasses.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

54. I am am equal oppurtunity offender. I offend all.

I just saw where the mis-use of cut and paste music offends Peake. Fuck him. Maybe it is mis-used in his little world ...not in mine. Sheesh! People make me want to throw up :puke:

on edit: It seems the mere fact that I continue to draw breath offends some people. I take perverse pleasure in knowing it, too!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

55. dumping this here

repuke candidates are running,
saying McCain is as liberal as
Hillary, will only serve to help
him with the Independents and the
undecided voters.
Too many people do not want to see
another Clinton in the White House,
or worse, Bill Clinton living in the
White House again.
You also have undecideds who do not
buy into the rehtoric Obama speaks that
soars and flies but, never really lands
anywhere. Obama says we can do things,
we can change things but never really
goes into specifics.
McCain is a very real threat. He is
known for his attempts at being bipartisan,
he is not the warmonger some would have
you believe. He actually fought Congress
to bring troops home in past conflicts.
Stir into that mix the POW issue, he is
a veteran and a war hero to many. That
also plays into his favor with the Iraq
war effecting so many people on an individual
basis.
To think McCain is not a threat amounts to
counting your chickens before they hatch.
You haven't won if the race is not even over.

He may not be the best campaigner
but, that in part may be due to his
lack of funding,
leading to frustration
and a little desperation. You
have to give it to him that he
had the guts to plug it out,
hitching rides, to carry on with
his campaign when anyone else
would have thrown in the towel.
He was on Leno last nite and
comes off as very personable,
has a sharp wit and the audience
really liked him.
He is portrayed at his worst at all
possible times by the press because
he is not the GOP's chosen one.
I wouldn't vote for him but, he is
the one Repuke that gets ANY respect
from me.

signed citizen_jane 2/1/08

[Tuesday Afternoon]

56. pookie, cherie and crumpet

be sure and apply liberally if ever posting to cali.
Let's see if she finds them as tasteful swallowing
them as she does dispensing them. :puke:

As always, it is not WHAT is said as much as it is HOW it is said!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

57. inspiration --

"Blue"

One day
suddenly
without warning
everyone in the world
turned blue
not the pale
washed-out blue
of a summer sky
or the gray-blue
of old silk
but full turquoise
bright and hard as
a Navajo stone
set in silver
at first there was a mass panic
governments fell
commerce collapsed
immigration officials went
into shock
and were found wandering along
fortified borders
singing snatches of old
Lawrence Welk tunes
on battlefields all across
the planet
blue soldiers
ran screaming from each other
no one knew who to shoot
no one knew who to hate
the enemy was suddenly
beatified
gorgeous and familiar
as the palm of one's own
hand
in Brazil
three abandoned children
from a cardboard favela
walked unrecognized
through the biggest shopping
mall in Rio
and were accidentally
presented with promotional balloons
in Berlin
five Turkish families
sat on benches in the Zoo
for most of the afternoon
unnoticed and undisturbed
in Miami
a Haitian cab driver
was inadvertently hired
to teach advanced French
at an exclusive
girls' school
as time passed,
the confusion deepened
landlords had to be sedated
real estate agents were found
curled in the fetal position
around For Sale signs
in Chicago alone
over 200 loan officers
attending a convention
at the airport Hilton
suddenly took Jesus as
their savior
but for lovers
blueness was a gift
the world around them
opened up
blossoming and blossoming
like a great, blue cornflower
innocent and strange
they lay in each others arms
blue lips to blue lips
blue breasts to blue breasts
making long, blue love
and when the blue nights
came down at last
and the blue sunsets
hovered over their beds
their blue laughter could be heard
as soft as silver bells
as they whispered to each other
those magic words:
azure
cobalt
indigo
lobelia
gentian
aqua.

—Mary Mackey

[Tuesday Afternoon]

58. so? (with a needle and a thread)

My grandmother always would say

"buttons on a bathtub" when one of us would say.."so?" When we'd say "what for" she'd say cat fur to make kitten britches.