"National Champion LSU Retires At The Top Of Its Game"

[KeepItReal]

"NEW ORLEANS—Mere moments after hoisting the crystal national championship trophy, Tigers coach Les Miles announced that LSU had made the decision to "go out on top" and retire after almost 150 years as a public university.

"Believe me, beating the Ohio State Buckeyes was tough, but coming to this decision was much tougher," said Miles, who said he reached the decision after a Christmas day meeting with LSU chancellor John O'Keefe, university president John Lombardi, and Tigers quarterback Matt Flynn. "But I really feel that after winning our second national chamionship in five years, Louisiana State University and Agricultural and Mechanical College has nothing left to prove—to others or to ourselves."

...

"You get to a point where there's just nothing else to accomplish," President Lombardi told reporters Tuesday, in between completing the paperwork that would cancel the spring semester and arranging for the sale of LSU's 2,100-acre campus. "From here on out, we at the university would just be padding our career stats. That's not how we want to be remembered.""

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/national_champion_lsu_retires_at