I just went to confession

[catbert836]

6 moths after I swore off Catholicism. What's wrong with me?

[elehhhhna]

1. masochistic guilt complex?

[Ladyhawk]

2. Forgive me Father, for I am conflicted? :) n/t

[catbert836]

6. ROFL

Definitely I will remeber that if I do it again.

[CottonBear]

3. Nothing is wrong with you. You are seeking truth and peace and knowledge.

Peace. :hug:

[catbert836]

8. Thanks so much

:pals:

[CottonBear]

15. You are so very welcome.

:hug: Religous rituals are soothing. One needs to do what one is comfortable with during times of stress or religous holidays.

Peace. CB

[manic expression]

4. So?

How did you feel about it? Was it satisfying? Did you get the answers you were looking for? Why did you swear off Catholicism, and why did you take it back up, at least in part, now?

I don't think this is about you. It is about your place, or your path. Seriously though, you don't need to worry about it, it'll work out.

[catbert836]

5. Well,

I started my path to disbelief in the church about 10 months ago. It was a long process, and I'd rather not get into the whole story. Suffice is to say that various conflicts erupted in my life, and when I turned to the Church for answers, they didn't have any. It all unraveled from there.
I went to confession today because my family is extremely religious, and since they're all in town and won't be on Sunday, the decision was made to go to an evening service today. Afterwards, they all went in for confession, and I didn't want to have an arguement with them, so I did it just to avoid a conflict.
Afterwards? I can't say. The priest told me to go to mass more often (I didn't tell him that I'm now a heretic), and tasked me with saying 5 Hail Marys. I guess it was rather satisfying, but I don't know whether I should have been true to myself and refused to go. Mixed feeling overall.
Thanks for the encouragement :-)

[manic expression]

14. hey,

it's no problem. :)

The best advice I may have is to find what you believe in (whatever that may be), or if you haven't found that yet, just keep looking around. I don't think you can be "untrue" to yourself just by seeing what something is all about. All in all, you should simply do what you feel is right. If you think your "heretic" path is what suits you, you should definitely pursue that.

I also left my family's faith, and it's worked out really well (even though some members were pretty upset). I suspect you'll find what you're looking for with time.

I hope that made sense.

[catbert836]

16. It made perfect sense.

And thanks once again.

[LearnedHand]

23. Psychologically, the Catholic Church has it very close to right in this

Americans seem not to know how to examine their souls AND THEN MOVE ON. We get hung up in the first, and we examine, and we examine, and we hate ourselves more, and we examine ad infinitum. We beat ourselves up with, "I. Must. Forgive. You." -- through gritted teeth -- and we beat ourselves up when we don't "feel" forgiveness flowing through us.

I'm not Catholic, but when I was struggling with some very deep hatred and rage, I read lots of Buddhist writings about suffering and struggle, and one thing they teach is to notice your hatred and rage, to be curious about it, to "honor" its place in your emotions. (Hang on; I'll make the connection here, in just a minute.) They said you could not force it; you could only be willing to be in a different place emotionally.

When I stopped fighting against my rage and hatred, and could honestly say that I was willing to forgive, to leave my hatred behind, I began to make some progress. That's when I recognized the wisdom of the Catholic Church's ritual of confession: You tell your "sins" to a dispassionate someone, that someone gives you some small "tasks" (Rosary, Hail Marys, etc.) that will bring forgiveness to you, you do the "tasks," and you LEAVE THE "SIN" BEHIND YOU. How marvelous! How healing!

Who cares if you've left the Church. If this ritual helps you make progress through suffering, do it with gusto! It doesn't "taint" you; it doesn't require that you be All Catholic or None Catholic. Do what helps you best.

[manic expression]

29. True

(I'm not questioning or criticizing you) but I do not agree that saying "Oh, now that I'm forgiven, I'm OK" works out. Instead of looking at cause and effect, one should just go and talk to a priest, say a few things and it's fine?

I think that forgiveness may be a bit misled. It is the reaction and inevitable undoing of the wrong action that should be the objective. Forgiveness should not come from a "higher being", but from a being that is from the same exact level as the individual seeking it. Furthermore, forgiveness does not come from a gesture, it comes from actual action and actual justice in that situation.

Just a few thoughts. I pretty much agree with you on everything else.

[Warpy]

7. So you needed to talk to somebody about something, no?

Or you just got into a habit that you found hard to break?

Or maybe you're just not ready to give it all up?

It's none of our business what path you've chosen or where you might be on it. You might even choose to re embrace Catholicism. It's your choice and might be what you need. Or it might not.

It's all a journey, not an end, and if you're on the journey, you're doing just fine.

[catbert836]

9. Thanks, Warpy

That's the encouragement I needed. :pals:

[Xipe Totec]

10. Hard habit to break, isn't it?

I mean, here you are, confessing to us, no?

:shrug:

Confiteor Deo omnipotenti, istis Sanctis et omnibus Sanctis et tibi frater, quia peccavi in cogitatione, in lucutione, in opere, in pollutione mentis et corporis.

Ideo precor te, ora pro me.

[catbert836]

11. I did realize that irony

But I decided it was a question that needed to be asked regardless.

[Xipe Totec]

18. It's a good thing

Setting aside the theological aspects, it is important from time to time to recognize that we need the company and acceptance of others; to acknowledge that we cannot stand alone.

The first step to redemption is compunction. And that has more to do with being human, than being Roman Catholic.

[shrike]

25. Actually, I admire you

I haven't been to confession in years and I'm still a practicing Catholic, albeit a half-assed one.

It's my experience that most people are scared to death to go to confession. Something about being in that dark box, all closed up; sort of reminds you of death, doesn't it? I think most people just don't have the nerve to go. I don't. Reminds me of an old comedy routine I heard when I was a kid; guy's at a liquor store, buying everything he can get his hands on. At the end, the clerk says, "You must be throwing some kind of party, huh?" The guy says, "Oh no, I'm just trying to get up enough nerve to go to confession."

A priest I knew once told this story: he was coming home for Christmas, and was going to surprise his family: Mom, Dad, adult brothers. As soon as he comes into town, though, the local pastor ropes him into doing confessions. He's sitting there, can see out into the crowd (this was back when everybody went) and his whole family is there. First in line, is, of course, his mother. She starts the "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned," and he tries to disguise his voice. Doesn't work, of course, and she says, "My God, Joe, is that you?" He says, "Yeah, Ma, I'm home for Christmas." Mom immediately steps out of the confessional and announces, to the whole church, "It's him." She doesn't even explain who "Him" is, no one will go near him the whole night. The other priest on duty handles the entire church, while Joe the Prodigal Priest sits and twiddles his thumbs. "I was 'Him,'" he recalled, mournfully.

[Sir_Snooze]

12. Just don't go all right on us

, or else we'll have to disagree!
HIAGH! Disagreeing!!!
YAHH!!!

I told Catholicism to take a hike at age 6, when my parent's split and the Church told me to believe. I am not a sheep. I will not conform to stupid, irrational belief based on a book. I will not choose my life based on a book.

That's me; this is you. Just keep your logic, please?

[catbert836]

13. I promise

May Jesus strike me down (sic) if I do go "all right" on you guys. ;-)
And my story is a lot more complicated than it seems, I believe I posted a short summary previously on this thread.

[BOHICA06]

17. Wrong ..... not a thing.

It is not illegal, immoral, or fattening and it does you no harm. Continue if you want, or even if you don't want, but can't think of a good reason not to go.

[hunter]

19. Did you make a Jesus Fish post?

I must confess, I did. Twice.

[CarbonDate]

20. Depends on why you gave it up.

As others have posted, you probably needed to talk to someone about some issues that were bothering you. For myself, I find it harder to forgive myself than to forgive others, or even for others to forgive me. So maybe you needed some sort of affirmation. I can only speculate.

[Goblinmonger]

21. I went to a Cathoic HS seminary

waaayyyy too long ago (graduated in 84) and have taken a long path to atheism. Still haven't discussed it with my mom because she would not talk to me for years, she is 77, and I don't want her to die not talking to me. Tell me that ain't a little twisted.

We do what we need to do. It was hard to break out of the comfort of the sequence of the mass for me (I did it every day for 4 years--plus morning prayer, prayer after supper and evening prayer). It was comfortable and felt good, so I did it even though I bough ZERO of the dogma.

Take your path at your pace. And feel free to PM me if you want to talk about your journey; maybe we have seen some of the same sights.

[BoneDaddy]

22. Nothing wrong with it.

Relgion is not evil in and of itself. As a previous poster mentioned, if it gives you relief. Moving towards challenging your religion you need not to feel like you have to reject it in it's totality, all or none. Religious teachings have much to say about human relationships. It doesn't have to be all or none.

Every religion or culture has a mythical system. Even atheists have a mythical system. I do not mean false, I mean a set of guiding beliefs. In most religions the underlying message is the golden rule...do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Not a bad message to live by whether you are religious, agnostic or atheist.

Consider this a journey and not a point to get to so you now "know it". The Tibetan Buddhists see life through the mandala. The mandala is separated into four directions, north, south, east and west. Each direction corresponds to a human experience. For instance, the North represents the mind realm, the area of human cognition. The south is the emotional realm, the east is the spiritual (abstract) realm and the west is the physical realm.

I don't want to go into all the realms meanings, but I would like to comment on the northern realm of human cognition. The tibetans depict that realm as looking like giants and titans battling continuously, never ending. They see human ideologies clashing like the giants, always battling for which one is better, more correct, right or true.

Each realm has an ally and enemy. They show the positive and negatives of the area. The enemy of the North is CLARITY and the ally is WISDOM. Clarity is an enemy. Interesting because that is what we all seem to strive for...being clear on an issue. Knowing what is right and what is wrong. That's why it is the enemy. Clarity is an illusion. Total surety does not exist. Wisdom is the ally because it makes us adhere to the knowledge that we cannot know all things. Impossible. To engage in continual war is when we are stuck in the mind realm.

So don't think you will find all the answers. It is what makes us humble and honest and fair to all. The minute we think we have all the answers, then we stop learning and living. That which is rigid will always break.

[catbert836]

24. Wow. Do you have any links on the mandala?

I'd really like to learn more about it.

[BoneDaddy]

26. Will look for it

All of what I was taught was through a teacher/mentor of mine who is a buddhist. I don't have a link to something atm. Will look though. I you want, send me an email and I will give it to you in it's entirity.

[FM Arouet666]

27. I have to ask, what did you confess?

Forgive me father, I have sinned, it has been 6 months since my last confession and I......

The suspense is killing me.....

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

28. How do you feel about it

in your heart, not your head? I was not raised Catholic, so the rite of confession is one that is not in my background, and I cannot comment upon its significance to one's spiritual life. What caused you to go-did it come from your head or your heart? Follow what the heart says, for the head can play games and get you into trouble.