German Monk Caught With 230 Porno Films: Report

[DeSwiss]

German monk caught with 230 porno films: report

AFP
Thu Mar 6, 2:31 PM ET



BERLIN (AFP) - A Benedictine monk has been caught with around 230 pornographic films in his room in a monastery in western Germany, the local Abendzeitung newspaper reported on Thursday.

The discovery was made after the monk was caught trying to steal four gay pornography DVDs from a sex shop in the Bavarian city of Wuerzburg in southern Germany, the paper said.

After an assistant caught him stealing the films, the 49 year-old fled, throwing his loot in a rubbish bin before being caught by police. The monk lives at the 900-year-old Maria Laach Abbey in Rhineland-Palatinate.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080306/od_afp/germanyreligionpornographyoffbeat_080306193109">LINK

"A Special Message From Our Führer" - First off, no one should go to a sex shop wearing their monk's habit. That's a dead giveaway and they tend to jack up the prices because they know you're desperate. Like their urban counterparts, rural monks should pay a homeless person to buy the gay porn while they wait for them back in the confessional.

Second, a monk doesn't have to go to a sex shop but can just submit a transfer request to be posted at the Vatican, where if http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/news/world/suspended-catholic-cleric-has-vatican-gay-list/2007/10/20/1192301086486.html">caught in some kind of gay sex act, one can claim they are simply "investigating the issue" in order to "expose other gay priests." A transfer requesting posting to just about anywhere in the US is also an exceptable alternative.

And finally, living in a monastery or abbey that doesn't have electricity or internet service will invariably force gay monks to frequent sex shops. Answer: start a monk wine-making business so you can raise enough money for electricity, purchase a computer, and then subscribe to an internert service provider so you can watch all the gay sex porn that you want on the internet. Topped off with a nice Reisling or Merlot. And all free!!!

As a last resort, a monk could consider contacting the Fundies at one of their "Pray-Teh-Gay-Away" programs. Of course it won't work, but while enrolled there at least a monk would be able to make some pretty good gay sex contacts.....
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DeSwiss



on edit: add a better idea! ;)

[wtmusic]

1. Poor guy

Not much to do there at the abbey.

[DeSwiss]

4. And here all this time.....

...I thought that "doing nothing" was the whole point of being a monk.

[wtmusic]

9. Yeah, well when you sign on

you don't really have a concept of how much nothing there really is. At an abbey there are tons of the stuff!

[Beregond2]

2. Monk

What an unoriginal sin.

[DeSwiss]

5. The sin might be unoriginal....

...but I'd pay good money to have seen that chase with a monk's robes flying in the wind and the cops chasing him.

- Benny Hill music optional...

[xchrom]

3. he was obviously trying to gather all the porn there ever was in the world

to keep the rest of us from watching it and falling into sin.

[DeSwiss]

6. Another martyr....

...sacrificing himself for the good of all. What a saint!

[xchrom]

7. bless him for all his efforts.

:D

[eppur_se_muova]

8. Just admiring God's creations ... in action! nt

[dweller]

10. he was lovingly known to the other brothers as

'the librarian'.

dp

[rug]

11. That's a Franciscan, not Benedictine habit.

[moggie]

12. Either way, it's a dirty habit n/t

[Meshuga]

13. But only visible if he goes under a black light. n/t

[trotsky]

14. *SNORT*

:rofl: