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Christian-Approved Anal Sex. Okay, I'm done now.....

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DeSwiss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 05:57 PM
Original message
Christian-Approved Anal Sex. Okay, I'm done now.....
It would seem that in an effort to attract new adherents, the "NEW AND IMPROVED SEXUAL CHRISTIAN MOVEMENT" now have a website (Sex In Christ), which extolls the virtues of non-vaginal penetrating sex for the unmarried. Apparently teams of theologians have reread the bible and have come away with whole new interpretations for the meaning of the term: "The Good News." Hey, I'm serious here.

This information for the sexually frustrated Christian comes complete with notations of the relevant supporting biblical chapters and verses. One must assume they did this to overcome any objections to the idea of Christian anal sex from those loved ones who attended Sunday School under the old regime. These new insights into Christian sexual salvation support many forms of sex such as anal, oral, 3Somes, Christian-BDSM® (uses only Extra-Virgin and Consecrated olive oils), and much, much more. Hmmm.... I've got to get me one of them new sexy bibles. I wonder if they have pictures.....

Anyway, according to some of these new "Sexed-Up Christians" (like the one's I believe that Ted Haggard refers to in the Pelosi documentary), it seems that God gave women sexy asses in an effort to give them the means to "save" their vagina exclusively for marriage, while satisfying (read: "keeping") the boyfriend away from slutty nonbelievers. And at the same time, it gives the old Devil a poke in the eye (no pun intended) at the same time since such behavior was previously deemed to be within his bailiwick.


http://www.sexinchrist.com/">Anal Sex in Accordance with God's Will

Are you saving yourself for your wedding night? The Devil wants you to fail, that’s why he puts stumbling blocks in your way. But God wants you to succeed, and that’s why he has given us an alternative to intercourse before marriage: anal sex. Through anal sex, you can satisfy your body’s needs, while you avoid the risk of unwanted pregnancy and still keep yourself pure for marriage.

You may be shocked at first by this idea. Isn’t anal sex (sodomy) forbidden by the Bible? Isn’t anal sex dirty? What’s the difference between having anal sex before marriage and having regular intercourse? Let’s address these issues by debunking some myths about anal sex and God's will.

http://www.sexinchrist.com/


There are also these other great Christian sex topic reintrepretations to choose from:

http://www.sexinchrist.com/oralsex.html">Oral Sex and God's Will
http://www.sexinchrist.com/viagra.html">Viagra and God's Will
http://www.sexinchrist.com/threesome.html">Threesomes Within a Christian Marriage
http://www.sexinchrist.com/reader.html">Reader Questions and Answers
http://www.sexinchrist.com/masturbation.html">Masturbation - God's Great Gift to Us
http://www.sexinchrist.com/pornography.html">A Proposal for a Christian Pornography
http://www.sexinchrist.com/submission.html">Bondage in Christ - BDSM in a Christian Marriage
http://www.sexinchrist.com/fist.html">Fisting and God's Will

*** - Now I'll admit that I don't know if this is a serious attempt to close the gap between believers and nonbelievers (yuck, yuck), or just another backdoor attempt (again, no pun intended) to lure people into the church to fill collection plates. Or if its an effort by the porn industry to remove the stigma of Christians buying their sex toys and porn under assumed names and in disguise like they do now. But if true, all I want to know is where are these churches located and what time is service???


thank you,
thank you,
thank you,
thank you....
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Katherine Brengle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:01 PM
Response to Original message
1. Is that site a joke?
I just read the one on Christian 3-ways...

Apparently God doesn't care if two women get their freak on, He just doesn't care for randy man on man butt sex.

WTF???
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DeSwiss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:06 PM
Response to Reply #1
8. I. Have. No. Idea.
It seems to be a parody site. If it isn't, churches would be filled to the rafters come Sunday. Whoops I made a joke. Come Sunday. My bad.
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jaysunb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:57 PM
Response to Reply #1
24. I don't think it's a joke
A friend who comes from a fundie family shared the site w/ me about a year ago and said it came to him from one of said family members....

It gave me some some side splitting times reading it ! :evilgrin:
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DeSwiss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 09:10 PM
Response to Reply #24
32. If you're married...
...I'd watch this "freind" around the wife/husband.

But if you're into threesomes....
j/k :P
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orpupilofnature57 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:02 PM
Response to Original message
2. Their almost as sacrilegious as Shrub.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:03 PM
Response to Original message
3. I think it's satire...
Still, if real.... that could be an interesting church to attend.

Hmmmmmm.......




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Mojambo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:03 PM
Response to Original message
4. One more wall between me and Christianity knocked down.
They may get me yet.
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DeSwiss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:08 PM
Response to Reply #4
10. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
:P
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MannyGoldstein Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:04 PM
Response to Original message
5. Awesome
I'm writing this from a Wi-Fi-enabled coffee shop. Everyone in the place is watching me laugh my ass off - gotta go, I'm becoming a spectacle... thanks for the laugh...
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DeSwiss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:11 PM
Response to Reply #5
13. Leave em the URL...
...before you go......

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Make7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:05 PM
Response to Original message
6. I fear that this could be the start of a slippery slope...
... that will lead to the acceptance of man on man gay anal sex by people of the Christian faith. Obviously this is some nefarious plot by Lucifer (perhaps Dick Cheney) to destroy all that is good and pure in this world.

- Make7

(Oh, yeah. :sarcasm:)
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Prophet 451 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:09 PM
Response to Reply #6
12. Hey, Lucifer likes man-on-man butt sex
Luciferianism never had those ridiculous prohibitions on sex in teh first place. (Small note: I'm a devil worshipper, I'm just one with a sense of humour).
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Make7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:13 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. I know! He's trying to trick good and pure Christians into allowing it also. He is evil!!1!1! ( nt )
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Evoman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:14 PM
Response to Reply #6
15. Uhhhh huhuh uhhhh huhuhuhuh
You said "slippery slope"
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DeSwiss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 08:36 PM
Response to Reply #6
29. Make7...
...well according to Sex In Christ, Lucifer uses our denial of having butt-sex as a "stumbling block" against us. This guy will stop at nothing.

So the more we do it, the Holier we are! Fantastic!!!! :)

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zanne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:06 PM
Response to Original message
7. Hell I'm Agnostic...
And my "Maybe" God doesn't let me do those things!
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angstlessk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:08 PM
Response to Original message
9. So only the hyman is sacred before marriage? SEX is okay?
I do hope this is parady...or else I think I will look for a razor blade and just geterdon
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DeSwiss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:09 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. Eggactly! n/t
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LaBanty Donating Member (131 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:16 PM
Response to Original message
16. this site has to be a joke
It's a well-done joke, but a joke. I think it was to dupe horny little Christians into thinking what they are already doing is all well and good. It eliminates any feelings of guilt or conflict. My guess is if you asked most mainstream Christian churches, they'd never advocate this, particularly to unmarried couples.

Fact is, there's a whole lot of humping going on between unmarried churchgoers, and always has been. Sometimes the humpers happen to be the same sex, too.

Now, if only some clever web site advocating birth control was published to send the Fundies into a tailspin. I'm sure scripture could be twisted equally well to support the idea.
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:28 PM
Response to Original message
17. oh why not.
i don't get the threesome thing -- why not with two guys?{i mean i know why not} -- but if it gets these guys to lighten --

get your christian fuck on.
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Debi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:33 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. Will that be your new sig line???
:rofl:
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:39 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. lol -- it should, huh?
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Debi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:41 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. It will definitely draw attention, just make sure to add the website
so people know what you're talking about :P
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:43 PM
Response to Reply #20
21. why Miss Debi -- i do believe you have wicked ways?!?!
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Debi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:57 PM
Response to Reply #21
23. I should be in politics - look at my ability to easily influence the
easily influencable :bounce:

However, I love your new look!
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 07:16 PM
Response to Reply #23
26. well -- you musn't go by me --
Edited on Tue Jan-30-07 07:17 PM by xchrom
i am feeble minded.

with a magnetic attraction to the naughty.

my thanks to you!

on edit: let's see what the lounge thinks.
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:49 PM
Response to Reply #20
22. well let's see if this works.
Edited on Tue Jan-30-07 06:50 PM by xchrom
on edit: -- and there it is!
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Debi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 06:57 PM
Response to Reply #22
25. THAT is AWESOME!!!
Your new sig line may need a thread of it's own.......Just a suggestion :silly:
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MistressOverdone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 07:42 PM
Response to Original message
27. I don't like anybody telling me what to do with my
hoo-haa, he-he, and poop chute.

Geez. Who thinks up this stuff?
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DeSwiss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 09:01 PM
Response to Reply #27
30. Mistress....
I'm guessing Larry Flynt....

:woohoo:
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toddaa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 08:15 PM
Response to Original message
28. Man, all you DUers are clueless
Not only is that site a parody, its been around for a long, long time. I swear, some of you people really need to take at a look at bridge I have in Brooklyn for sale.
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DeSwiss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-30-07 09:02 PM
Response to Reply #28
31. toddaa, I know, I know....
....my wife tells me I'm clueless all the time. :)

This bridge..... does it come with lights? :shrug:
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