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Worst song lyrics EVER !!!! What's your pick?

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marmar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:41 PM
Original message
Worst song lyrics EVER !!!! What's your pick?

I know there are many worthy contenders for this title, and I could pick multiple winners, but I find this verse from "Truly Madly Deeply" by Savage Garden particularly puke-worthy:

And when the stars are shining brightly
In the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish
Send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry..
The tears of joy
For all the pleasure and the certainty.
That we're surrounded
By the comfort and protection of..
The highest power.
In lonely hours.
The tears devour you..
I want to stand with you on a mountain,
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down on me...


:puke:


That song I hate. But there are bad lyrics in songs I really like. And my pick for worst lyrics in a good song goes to INXS, in "Never Tear Us Apart":

We could live
For a thousand years
But if I hurt you
I'd make wine from your tears

I told you
That we could fly
'Cause we all have wings
But some of us don't know why




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Archae Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:43 PM
Response to Original message
1. "Rockin' Me Baby" by Steve Miller Band.
Anything they could do stupid, they did.
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:52 PM
Response to Reply #1
15. Steve Miller gets The Lifetime Achievement Award
x(
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roguevalley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-17-11 12:39 AM
Response to Reply #1
68. you're having my baby. muskrat love.
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SpiralHawk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:44 PM
Response to Original message
2. " some of us don't know why"

Where o where can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me

She's gone to heaven so I got to be good
so I can see my baby when I leave this world
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hlthe2b Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:45 PM
Response to Original message
3. I know someone is going to pick McArthur's Park...
so, I'll beat them to the punch... But, haven't you ever left a cake out in the rain? Now, really, haven't YOU? :rofl:
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marmar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:47 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. Of course. I wanted to see all the sweet green icing flowing down.
nt

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customerserviceguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 10:44 PM
Response to Reply #3
47. You beat me to it
Yeah, that one's pretty damn dumb.
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MadBadger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:47 PM
Response to Original message
4. Summertime from LFO. Their lyrics sound like Adam Sandler's
Edited on Sat Jan-29-11 07:50 PM by MadBadger
New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick.
And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer,for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
I'd take her if I had one wish,
But she's been gone since that summer..
Since that summer


Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,
Met you one summer and it all began
You're the best girl that I ever did see,
The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
Call me Willy Whistle cause I can't speak baby
Something in your eyes went and drove me crazy
Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad,
Left one day and never came back
Stayed all summer then went back home,
Macauly Culkin wasn't Home Alone
Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speaking
Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch
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dipsydoodle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:47 PM
Response to Original message
5. Take your pick
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him :rofl:

Another 102 here :

http://www.tonmeister.ca/personal/geoff/stuff/funny/country.html
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HysteryDiagnosis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:48 PM
Response to Original message
7. Aky braky Hart... sorry bout the spelling. n/t
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marmar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:49 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Misspelling seems somehow appropriate for that song.
nt

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HysteryDiagnosis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:51 PM
Response to Reply #8
14. Winner! n/t
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sakabatou Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-11 02:00 AM
Response to Reply #8
54. I had to dance to that song in middle school pe
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Kucinich Feingold Donating Member (176 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-25-11 11:30 AM
Response to Reply #7
76. I forgot country music.
I FUCKING hate country music. And I want to forget that song ever exist.
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CAG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:50 PM
Response to Original message
9. Phil Collins Tonight, Tonight, Tonight; Goin down like a monkey???
I'm coming down, coming down like a monkey, but it's alright
Like a load on your back that you can't see but it's alright
Try to shake it loose, cut it free, let it go, get it away from me.

Cos tonight, tonight, tonight I'm gonna make it right
Tonight, tonight, tonight.

I'm going down, going down, like a monkey, but it's alright
Try to pick yourself up, carry that weight that you can't see, don't you know
it's alright
It's like a helter skelter, going down and down, round and round but just get it
away from me.

Because tonight, tonight, tonight
We're gonna make it right
Tonight, tonight, tonight.

I got some money in my pocket, about ready to burn
I don't remember where I got it, I gotta get it to you
So please answer the phone, cos I keep calling, but you're never home
What am I gonna do
Tonight, tonight, tonight
I'm gonna make it right
Tonight, tonight, tonight.

You keep telling me I've got everything, you say I've got everything I want
You keep telling me you're gonna help me, you're gonna help me, but you don't
But now I'm in too deep
It's got me so that I just can't sleep
Get me out of here, please get me out of here
Just help me I'll do anything, anything if you'll just help me get out of here.

I'm coming down, coming down like a monkey, but it's alright
Like a load on your back that you can't see but it's alright
Try to shake it loose, cut it free, let it go
But just get it away from me
Cause tonight, tonight, tonight
May be we'll make it right
Tonight, tonight, tonight.

Please get me out of here
Someone get me out of here
Just help me I'll do anything, anything
If you'll just help get me out of here
Tonight I'm gonna make it right
Tonight, tonight, tonight.
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ProgressiveProfessor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:50 PM
Response to Original message
10. Anything hip hop....clearly my age is showing
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marmar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:51 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. Please.....Public Enemy has produced some of the greatest lyrics in the history of music.

But I suppose if you don't get it, it wouldn't mean anything to you.


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ProgressiveProfessor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:58 PM
Response to Reply #12
18. Let us see if they stand the test of time...50 years would be a good start
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marmar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:59 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. They will......They are at the vanguard of the most important musical development.....
...... of the late 20th century.


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Rabblevox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-11 11:56 PM
Response to Reply #12
72. +1. Not to mention NWA, Rage Against The Machine, Michael Franti...nt
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El Supremo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:50 PM
Response to Original message
11. The OU fight song
Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner
Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner
Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner
Boomer Sooner, OK U!

Oklahoma, Oklahoma
Oklahoma, Oklahoma
Oklahoma, Oklahoma
Oklahoma, OK U!
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lumberjack_jeff Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:51 PM
Response to Original message
13. What do you expect from a band who calls itself "Mungo Jerry".
In the summertime when the weather's high,
you can stretch right up and touch the sky,
when the weather's fine,
you got women, you got women on your mind.
Have a drink, have a drive,
go out and see what you can find.

If her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal.
If her daddy's poor, just do as you feel.
Speed along the lane,
Do a ton, or a ton and twenty-five.
When the sun goes down, you can make it,
make it good in a lay-by.

We're not grey people, we're not dirty, we're not mean.
We love everybody, but we do as we think.
When the weather's fine
we go fishing or go swimming in the sea.
We're always happy,
life's for living, yeah, that's our philosophy.

Sing along with us, dee-dee-dee-dee-dee.
Da-da-da-da-da...Yeah, we're happy happy,
da-da-da-da-dah.

When the winter's here, then it's party time.
Bring a bottle, wear your bright clothes.
It'll soon be summertime, and we'll sing again,
we'll go drivin' or maybe we'll settle down.
If she's rich, if she's nice,
bring you're friends and we'll all go into town.
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Old and In the Way Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:52 PM
Response to Original message
16. They're Coming to Take Me Away, Haha....
Should be the National Anthem of the Tea Party or Glen Beck, anyway.
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Rabblevox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-24-11 12:00 AM
Response to Reply #16
73. Mason Williams was a guitar and comedy god. Don't F*CK with that song! nt
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TNDemo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 07:54 PM
Response to Original message
17. Havin' my baby...
What a stupid way of singing about how much you love me (to the tune, of course)...
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boobooday Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:11 PM
Response to Reply #17
25. Can you feel it grooooowiiiiiin?
Are ya happy in knooooooowinnnnn?

This one is way up there.

:rofl:
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femmocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:34 PM
Response to Reply #17
36. +1000
LOL
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Kceres Donating Member (839 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:00 PM
Response to Original message
20. Almost any song by REM.
The lyrics sound as though they were written by 13-year-old boys.
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lumberjack_jeff Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:21 PM
Response to Reply #20
29. Them's fightin' words. n/t
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Kceres Donating Member (839 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:25 PM
Response to Reply #29
31. I knew I'd be in for it when I posted! But, really....?
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lumberjack_jeff Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:25 PM
Response to Reply #31
32. Stand right there but don't Fall On Me.
Edited on Sat Jan-29-11 08:44 PM by lumberjack_jeff
I am Superman. I can do anything. I'll put a Man on The Moon.

It may be The End of the World (As We Know It), but I feel fine.

:hi:
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BobbyBoring Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:01 PM
Response to Original message
21. My pick is
Onward Christian Soldiers
Marching off to war
Fight those bastards over there
so they don't land on our shore

Yeah, not Ed Zachery how it goes, but you dig what I'm sayin~
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TexasProgresive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:04 PM
Response to Original message
22. "Surfin' Bird"-The Trashmen worst ever and it hit the top of the charts.
SURFIN' BIRD
(Frazier - White - Harris - Wilson)
THE TRASHMEN (GARRETT 4002, 1963)

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird
B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word!
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a...

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody's talking about the bird!
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird...

Surfin' bird
Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb... ... aaah!

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom
Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
Well don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word!
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

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marmar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:07 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. Those are truly craptacular lyrics.
And I'm not surprised it hit the top of the charts - fans of cheese abound.


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lumberjack_jeff Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:24 PM
Response to Reply #22
30. Papa OO mao mao means something really profound in an extinct pacific island language.
Pity it's extinct n' all.
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enuegii Donating Member (624 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 11:51 PM
Response to Reply #22
48. That song always makes me think of "Pink Flamingos"...
The lyrics almost make sense in that one particular scene.
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boobooday Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:09 PM
Response to Original message
24. Midnight at the Oasis
Send your camel to bed

Let's slip off to a sand dune, real soon
and kick up a little dust

Come on, cactus is our friend.

I repeat CACTUS IS OUR FRIEND
He points out the way . . .
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Toon Me Out Donating Member (245 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-11 03:57 AM
Response to Reply #24
57. I CAN HAZ FREND!
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Jackpine Radical Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:12 PM
Response to Original message
26. Nunna yaz iz eevn close.
It's Shake Your Booty.


AahEverybody, get on the floor, let's dance!
Don't fight the feelin', give yourself a chance!

Shake shake shake, shake shake shake,
Shake your booty! Shake your booty!
Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake,
Shake your booty! Shake your booty.

Aah, You can, you can do it very well.
You're the best in the world, I can tell.

Oh, Shake shake shake, shake shake shake,
Shake your booty! Shake your booty!
Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake,
Shake your booty! Shake your booty.
(WoWohoo,Yeah!)
Shake shake, shake shake!

Aah, Shake shake, shake shake!
Aah, Shake shake shake, shake shake shake,
Shake your booty! Shake your booty!
Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake,
Shake your booty! Shake your booty.

Aah, Shake shake, shake shake, shake your booty!
Aah, don't fight the feeling.
Shake shake, shake shake, shake your booty!
Aah, give yourself a chane.
Shake shake, shake shake, shake your booty!
You can do it! do it!
Shake shake, shake shake, shake your booty!
(Come home with momma now!)
Shake shake, shake shake, shake your booty!
WoooHOOOOHoooo!
Shake shake, shake shake, shake your booty!
Aah, BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
Shake shake(come on), shake shake(come on), on your booty!
Aah! do your duty. Aah haa!
Shake shake(come on), shake shake(come on), on your booty!
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TNDemo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:16 PM
Response to Original message
27. My number 2 pick - Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I Got Love in My Tummy...
But I was too young to get it when it was popular.
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TheMadMonk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:16 PM
Response to Original message
28. "Four poster roller coaster." whatever the fuck that is.
Workshop radio took a lot of hits for this one.
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Iggo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-11 03:04 PM
Response to Reply #28
55. Aw, come on. You know what it is.
;)
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Rabblevox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-24-11 02:48 AM
Response to Reply #28
74. LOL! You really don't know? Here's the crib sheet...
Four Poster= 4-poster bed
Roller Coaster= wild
Toaster= hot
Pudding and Vine-Ripened= wet and juicy
Frightened of Lightning between my legs= "I'm a horny teenager with a hard-on"

Those should be the main metaphors to get you through the song.
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muriel_volestrangler Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:28 PM
Response to Original message
33. "If I was a sculptor, but then again, no ...
...
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you"

Bernie Taupin, for Elton John, "Your Song"

So, it's a song with the verbal equivalent of a crossing out. Whatever there was to say about sculpture, we've just got to forget it. He's wasted a line. OK, on to "a man who makes potions in a travelling show"; what about it? 'If' needs to be followed by 'then ...'. Maybe he ran out of space, because he left in the line about the sculptor. And what the hell are potions in a travelling show doing in a romantic song? What is he talking about, a date rape drug or something? Travelling show potions are normally highly dodgy.

And it should be "If I were a sculptor".
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saras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:30 PM
Response to Original message
34. Everyone who posts a 'worst' should have to post their 'best'
Edited on Sat Jan-29-11 08:33 PM by saras
Everyone who posts a 'worst' should have to post their 'best' also

so we can, after we quit ROTFL, dismiss their opinion due to the obvious lack of taste and judgement.

Worst song lyric EVER is unlikely to be recorded, let alone make the charts.
Worse than anything posted here would be a large number of obscure songs that didn't make the charts.
Worse than that would be most 'song-poem' lyrics (http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2005/07/american_song_p.html)
Worse than that would be, say, Johnny Rebel

Johnny Rebel - Stand Up
Stand up and be counted, show the world that you're a man
Stand up and be counted, go with the Ku Klux Klan
We are a sacred brotherhood who love our country true
We always can be counted on when there's a job to do
We serve our homeland day and night to keep it always free
We're proud to wear our robes of white, protecting liberty.

Worse than that would be something like Cannibal Corpse. I can't even name songs here without getting the post deleted, let alone quote any significant amount of lyrics. If you have an insatiable curiosity, are over 21, and have a strong stomach, google 'cannibal corpse entrails' for more information.

This thread isn't 'worst songs' by any stretch of the imagination, it's just 'songs I have a personal neurosis about'.

But if we were just filling up a bucket labeled 'irredeemably bad', I'd throw Cannibal Corpse in there, and probably keep everything else in this thread as 'worked well enough in context, just not my personal favorite' - I mean, even Johnny Rebel rhymes, scans, uses coherent English, and has a specific, understandable message.

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marmar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:32 PM
Response to Reply #34
35. 'it's just 'songs I have a personal neurosis about''
Umm, okay.


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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 08:37 PM
Response to Reply #35
37. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
SixString Donating Member (206 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 09:20 PM
Response to Original message
38. Tin Man - America


When I say I'm spinning round, round, round, round

Smoke glass stain bright color

Image going down, down, down, down

Soapsuds green like bubbles
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CoffeeCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 09:37 PM
Response to Reply #38
41. Awwww...
No dissin America! I love that band!

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SixString Donating Member (206 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 09:46 PM
Response to Reply #41
44. No diss
I play the tune on my acoustic.
But I can never get through that part without laughing.
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Vegas_Baby Donating Member (31 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 09:21 PM
Response to Original message
39. InaGadadavida...
..baby.:eyes:

Stupidest popular song EVER.
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wilt the stilt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-04-11 01:02 PM
Response to Reply #39
58. they were trying to say
in the garden of eden
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Still Blue in PDX Donating Member (633 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-11 01:21 AM
Response to Reply #58
59. I didn't find that out until an episode of The Simpson's.
I'm like, "Hey, wow, that's in-a-gadda-da-vida, and they're singing In the Garden of Eden."

Even my kids looked at me like I was a moron, like everyone knew those were the real words! Guess they learned it in some class about life in the 1960s and 1970s.
:rofl:
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Myrina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 09:29 PM
Response to Original message
40. "My Humps"
WTF, seriously?? :wtf:


"What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps (Check it out)
My love (love), my love, my love, my love (love)
You love my lady lumps (love),
My hump, my hump, my hump (love),
My humps they got you,

She's got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me

They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
You can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
In the back and in the front (lumps)
My lovin' got you"



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CoffeeCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 09:41 PM
Response to Original message
42. Afternoon Delight (Turns any room into a vomitorium)
Edited on Sat Jan-29-11 09:42 PM by CoffeeCat
Seriously. Try to read these lyrics without hurling a lung. I dare ya.

---------AFTERNOON DELIGHT--BY THE STARLAND VOCAL BAND

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
looking forward to a little afternoon delight.
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
and the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
a little afternoon delight.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

Please be waiting for me baby when I come around.
We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.
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saras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 09:53 PM
Response to Reply #42
45. No problem
That's why my wife and I play it in a cover band occasionally. I also do a solo acoustic guitar version of McArthur Park, and have been known to play Steve Miller songs - even the dumb ones, though Dear Mary is my favorite.

The degree of delusion and denial in this thread rivals anything I've seen the freepers come up with. Seriously. It's just that the subject matter is a little less serious.
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CoffeeCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 10:29 PM
Response to Reply #45
46. What do you mean "delusion and denial"??
I'm delusional or in denial b/c I don't like the Starland Vocal Band?

Please expound! :)
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saras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 02:54 AM
Response to Reply #46
49. the subject is 'worst ever', not just 'I don't like it'
I posted the lyrics to a Cannibal Corpse song - the moderator, quite rightly, deleted it.

You want worst ever, google 'cannibal corpse entrails' for the NSFW gory details. I'm not claiming this one song is THE WORST - after all, the group has a handful of albums. I am claiming that to pretty much any reasonable adult being serious, it is orders of magnitude worse than anything else named here.

To suggest that what is listed in this thread - perfectly ordinary pop songs no better or worse than tens of thousands of other pop songs - are in any way comparable to really vile 'songs' is childish at best if it's just a pissing contest, and genuinely delusional if you honestly believe that, because you don't like, say, the Starland Vocal Band, that this makes Afternoon Delight WORSE than the song I referenced above (I can't even NAME the song or this post will get deleted).

I'm an over-50 musician with strong tastes - I don't like the Eagles, for example - but that doesn't mean that I can't recognize that the Eagles are competent musicians and songwriters, and write songs that many Americans deeply relate to. On the other hand, I like Marc Bolan, whose only saving grace as a songwriter is that he could come up with three-word phrases and riffs that you could repeat endlessly for three minutes without making you want to pour molten lead in your ears. "I'm just a Jeepster for your love" is unmitigatedly dumb - but worst song ever? Nope. Not even close.
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Voice for Peace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-11 09:46 PM
Response to Original message
43. jesus loves me
Edited on Sat Jan-29-11 09:49 PM by Voice for Peace
jesus loves me, this i know
for the bible tells me so
little ones to him belong
they are weak, but he is strong
yes jesus loves me
yes, jesus loves me
yes, jesus loves me,
the bible tells me so.



edit: I apologize if anyone's offended... it was just such wrong brainwashing for me, and a bad earworm, to boot.
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Still Blue in PDX Donating Member (633 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-11 01:25 AM
Response to Reply #43
61. That "if I should die before I wake" was pretty scary shit. nt
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tucsonlib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 03:16 AM
Response to Original message
50. No Contest:
And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.


:puke: :puke: :puke:
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dddem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 10:02 AM
Response to Original message
51. Umm. Ok, clearly you all have given this much thought
But have none of you ever heard anything by the Captain and Tenille? Specifically, "Muskrat Love".
Seriously, there are no other contenders.


Muskrat, muskrat candlelight
Doin' the town and doin' it right
In the evenin'
It's pretty pleasin'

Muskrat Susie, Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land
And they shimmy
And Sammy's so skinny

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin' and jingin' the jango
Floatin' like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love

Nibbling on bacon, chewin' on cheese
Sammy says to Susie "Honey, would you please be my missus?"
And she say yes
With her kisses

And now he's ticklin' her fancy
Rubbin' her toes
Muzzle to muzzle, now anything goes
As they wriggle, and Sue starts to giggle

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin' and jingin' the jango
Floatin' like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love

La da da da da ...

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Bluenorthwest Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 12:31 PM
Response to Reply #51
52. When I came to this thread, Muskrat Love and
Having My Baby were my nominees, for many reasons. Many. That is all.
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Still Blue in PDX Donating Member (633 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-11 01:23 AM
Response to Reply #51
60. Muskrats doing the tango!
Too funny for words.
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solara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-11 01:08 AM
Response to Original message
53. I Beg Your Pardon contains more cliches than you 'could shake a stick at'
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.
When you take, you gotta give, so live and let live,
Or let go.
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.

I could promise you things like big diamond rings,
But you don't find roses growin' on stalks of clover.
So you better think it over.
Well, if sweet-talkin' you could make it come true,
I would give you the world right now on a silver platter,
But what would it matter?
So smile for a while and let's be jolly:
Love shouldn't be so melancholy.
Come along and share the good times while we can.

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.

I could sing you a tune or promise you the moon,
But if that's what it takes to hold you,
I'd just as soon let you go, but there's one thing I want you to know.
You better look before you leap, still waters run deep,
And there won't always be someone there to pull you out,
And you know what I'm talkin' about.
So smile for a while and let's be jolly:
Love shouldn't be so melancholy.
Come along and share the good times while we can.

I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.

:puke:
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Toon Me Out Donating Member (245 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-11 03:49 AM
Response to Original message
56. LET THE EAGLE SOAR by John Asscroft
Edited on Wed Feb-02-11 04:05 AM by Toon Me Out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubjgisuitDw

This eagle's place is in the sky.
She's still got a lot of flying to do.
You can see it in her eye,
Though she's cried a bit
For what we've put her though.

She's soared above the lifted lamp
That guards sweet freedom's door.
In the dews, the damps, the watchfires
Of a nation torn by war.

Oh, she's far too young to die
You can see it in her eye
She's not yet begun to fly.
It's time to let the mighty eagle soar once more.

Let the eagle soar,
Like she’s never soared before.
From rocky coast to golden shore,
Let the mighty eagle soar.
Soar with healing in her wings,
As the land beneath her sings:
'Only God, no other kings.'
Let the mighty eagle soar.

This country’s far too young to die.
We’ve still got a lot of climbing to do,
And we, we can make it if we try.
Built by toils and struggles
God has led us through.

We've fought for freedom dear
both here and on the distant shore
Paid a price a sacrifice
A price you can't ignore
Oh, we're far too young to die
We can make it if we try
We've not yet begun to fly.
It's time to let the mighty eagle soar once more.

Let the eagle soar,
Like she’s never soared before.
From rocky coast to golden shore,
Let the mighty eagle soar.
Soar with healing in her wings,
As the land beneath her sings:
'Only God, no other kings.'
Let the mighty eagle soar.

Let the eagle soar,
Like she’s never soared before.
From rocky coast to golden shore,
Let the mighty eagle soar.
Soar with healing in her wings,
As the land beneath her sings:
'Only God, no other kings.'
Let the mighty eagle soar.

'Only God, no other kings.'
Let the mighty eagle soar.




WHILE RECORDING THE BLIGHT ALBUM
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Bucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-11 12:58 PM
Response to Original message
62. "Machine or man-i-kannn... my true iden-ti-teeee... I'm Killroy! Killroy! Killroy!... Killroy."
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provis99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-11 03:52 PM
Response to Original message
63. She Loves You by the Beatles
actually, just about all the lyrics by the Beatles, REM, and Radiohead are crap. Worst influences ever on rock music.
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Toon Me Out Donating Member (245 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-11 10:06 PM
Response to Reply #63
64. ack
ack! You prefeer zee Lady Gogo?:shrug:
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Tunkamerica Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-16-11 04:17 AM
Response to Reply #63
66. I would say yr in the minority on that one, champ.
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Rambis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-15-11 03:07 PM
Response to Original message
65. Picasso Moon- grateful dead
bigger than a drive in movie ooo-eeeee - Velveeetahhhhh!shake it up now!
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onager Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-16-11 08:41 PM
Response to Original message
67. Quick, somebody call CPS!
Jeez, I can't believe this winner hasn't been mentioned yet.

The completely creepy Butt(er)fly Kisses by Bob Carlisle. A real masterpiece of ick.

Naturally, it was a huge hit in the land o' cotton, meth and inbreeding (where I grew up, so don't bother accusing me of condescension etc.):

There's two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she's daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank God for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
sticking little white flowers all up in her hair;
"Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
In all that I've done wrong I know I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning
And butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet 16 today
She's looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.

But I remember...
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you don't mind
I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong I must have done something right
To deserve her love every morning
And butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said "I'm not sure,
I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
She leaned over...gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry!"

Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly kisses
I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is.

I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
every hug in the morning and...butterfly kisses.

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dddem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-18-11 10:56 PM
Response to Reply #67
69. Okay,
You have given me something to think about in the competition for muskrat love. But I'm only considering it. It's not definitely worse.
This also reminded me of another contender. I hate it so much I can't even think of the name of it but it has something to do with new shoes for mama cause she's meetin' Jesus tonight. or something.
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onager Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-19-11 02:22 PM
Response to Reply #69
70. A-i-i-e-e-e! I'd almost forgotten that POS...
Edited on Sat Feb-19-11 02:24 PM by onager
You are referring, of course, to "The Christmas Shoes." Which is not really one of the reasons I became an atheist, but certainly helps.

It wasn't enough that this festering piece of glop was a song. It was turned into a TV movie, a book and apparently a whole mini-industry for that redundant demographic, "gullible Fundamentalist Xians."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Christmas_Shoes_(song)

Happily, it also spawned a hilarious parody - "The Christmas Thong:"


http://amiright.com/parody/2000s/newsong0.shtml

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tanya14 Donating Member (2 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-22-11 08:38 PM
Response to Original message
71. The King of Rock and Roll
The King of Rock and Roll - "Hot dog, jumping frog, albuquerque Hot dog, jumping frog, albuquerque High kickin dandy, fine figure fine cut a fine figure fine oh yeah ; Long legged candy, fine figure fine cut a fine figure fine oh yeah"




steve barbarich, choosehottubsdirect.com
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Kucinich Feingold Donating Member (176 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-25-11 11:27 AM
Response to Original message
75. Anything Nickelback does.
Edited on Fri Feb-25-11 11:29 AM by Kucinich Feingold
And all the HinderBack bands as well. Worst music in the universe. Oh and Religious music too.


Non-rock music, I would say just about anything Lady Gaga and all other modern pop musicians lyrics.
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Lastactiongyro Donating Member (254 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-27-11 06:59 AM
Response to Original message
77. Zlad! I Am The Antipope


Also see the Music Video!:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGBHfXPqbgI



The conclave entered into the room.
Inside of it they sat, these cardinals of doom.
Their votes was unanimous.
The horror instantaneous.
Observe! Smoke from chimney - not white but red!
They say it was the day that God bled.
Nuns weeped, holy men cursed
As they looked up onto the balcony and saw…
Beelzebub the First!

I am the Anti-Pope.
I am the Anti-Pope.
Like a lion kills an antelope.
Like a hammer hits a cantaloupe.
I am the Anti-Pope.

Two thousand years ago
Jesus said to his travelling show,
"No need for push. Do need for jostle.
Peter, you is my number one apostle.
Your name is mean rock - on you I build church.
No longer for successor I have need for to search."
But by Judas this words was overheard
And with mighty Satan he soon conferred,
"Oh Prince of darkness, be not in hesitation.
The head of God’s Church needs decapitation!"

I am the Anti-Pope.
I am the Anti-Pope.
Like a lion kills an antelope.
Like a hammer hits a cantaloupe.
I am the Anti-Pope.

"Hey, Grim Reaper, lend me your sickle.
This world needs some culling, blood needs to trickle!"
Prepare for the end - the Apocalypse approaches.
It’s feast time for maggots, worms and cockroaches.
But here comes White Horseman - Defender of God,
Exposing to everyone his powerful rod!
"I alone will fight for Jesus Christ
With sword so sharp I can make cheeses sliced."
He laughs to the Devil, he takes aim at Death
And he strikes down the enemy who takes one last breath.
But too early the victor makes his victory roar.
He may win this battle, but he not win the war.
For, yes, Beelzebub the First is set fire to then crucifixxed.
But next Anti-Pope is Zladko the 666th .

Yes, I am the Anti-Pope.
Like a lion kills an antelope.
Like a hammer hits a cantaloupe.
Like a neck in a hanging rope.
Like a germ in a microscope.
Like a witch reads a horoscope.
Like a cutter stabs an envelope.
I am the Anti-Pope.
There is no longer hope.
Long live Molvania!
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