APRIL FOOLS DAY ideas to publicize election theft?

[emlev]

Seems like a good opportunity to me.
Got Ideas?
Write them here............or don't!

[Benhurst]

1. I going to send out a mock 'newspaper article' stating it's been

proven Bush was elected fair and square. I'll make it long enough so that one won't see that it's an April Fool's joke until he or she has scrolled down a bit on the email.

[Bill Bored]

2. How about a Constitutional Amendment, based on the results

of the 2004 election, to change Election Day to April 1?

[emlev]

3. I love it! n/t

[marions ghost]

5. good idea

not much time. Can you write something short that sounds believable --like a news release--and we can zap it around.

[Bill Bored]

6. Who me?

Washington, Apr. 1, 2005

In the wake of the controversial Presidential election of 2004, after which Congress challenged the electoral votes of a state for the first time in over one hundred years, congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-IL) introduced a bill today proposing a Constitutional Amendment to prevent and correct voter disenfranchisement, election tampering and fraud.

The bill, known as the Amendment to Prevent or Remove Illegitimate Leaders (A.P.R.I.L.), provides for equal numbers of ballots and voting machines in all jurisdictions, explicitly guarantees all American citizens the right to vote, bans all forms of paperless electronic voting, and retroactively changes both Election Day 2004 and Election Day 2000 to April 1st, 2004 and April 1st, 2000 respectively.

In an impassioned speech on the floor of the House, Jackson said, "If the votes don't ADD up, we must not SHUT up. As our President himself has said, 'There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas – it’s probably in Tennessee – that says: Fool me once, shame on… shame on you. But fool me… you can’t get fooled again.’ And in conclusion Mr. Speaker, we must say to the people of Florida, Ohio, America and the world, 'Just kidding!' 'April Fools!' 'Psyched your mind!' 'Got ya!' And we must always keep hope alive!"

[marions ghost]

7. ha ha (as in really laughing)

about "Amendment to Prevent or Remove Illegitimate Leaders" providing for equal numbers of ballots and voting machines in all jurisdictions...etc -- that's excellent.

How about adding "changes election day to April 1 henceforth" (before retroactively changes...) I like the retroactive part because it is revisionist, but I also think it needs the future change. I wonder about implicating Jesse Jackson Jr in this. Kinda touchy right now. How about changing to Tom Dismay (R-DC) or Jeff Gannon (R-DC) or maybe Katherine Harrass (R-DC) --"DC" since DC doesnt have a senator. Go completely to the absurd.

In addition to regular insiders mailing list, suggest to send this "for immediate release" to media outlets--including ones we suspect are on our wave, such as Air America, Mother Jones, and spoof ones too, such as the Onion and the Daily Show. What about saying at the end--"for more info, google "stolen elections" (or whatever pulls up the most websites). Also I would end it at "just kidding." That would get it just fine, without overdoing the message. (Just suggestions, take or leave, mg):)

[Bill Bored]

10. Well, for it to work, we would need someone on "our side" to propose

such an amendment. Since JJ Jr. is fairly well-known for proposing an actual one, I thought it might pique the interest of the readers and seem authentic until the end. We could ask him, or perhaps Conyers, if they would mind being part of the joke as it does have a serious political message with which they agree. But I'll leave that up to someone else. Note that the babble about not getting fooled again was a Bush quote, used by the speaker to show the incompetence (illegitimacy) of our current leader, so that only derides Bush.

That said, if it came from the Republcian side, you'd have to find a so-called moderate Republican who would turn on Bush. Other than McCain, who has certainly not been willing to do so, who could we use? Do these things have to be introduced in the House, or the Senate, or either? Also, one of THEM would never actually propose such legislation, even without the change to April 1. The idea is tempting though. I just can't think of anyone on the Repuke side to use.

As far as the "henceforth" I disagree, because the implication is supposed to be that if the other reforms are put in place (banning e-voting, etc.) it won't be necessary to use April 1st for future elections. Only the last 2 need to be revised, so I don't think the "henceforth" is necessary, but you had me going for a while!

I agree about truncating the end i.e. "just kidding."
But what about "keep hope alive?"

One more thing, I'd change the title to Prevent and Remove instead of Prevent or Remove.

[Bill Bored]

11. Here it is with the agreed/suggested changes.

Washington, Apr. 1, 2005

In the wake of the controversial Presidential election of 2004, after which Congress challenged the electoral votes of a state for the first time in over one hundred years, congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-IL) introduced a bill today proposing a Constitutional Amendment to prevent and correct voter disenfranchisement, election tampering and fraud.

The bill, known as the Amendment to Prevent and Remove Illegitimate Leaders (A.P.R.I.L.), provides for equal numbers of ballots and voting machines in all jurisdictions, explicitly guarantees all American citizens the right to vote, bans all forms of paperless electronic voting, and retroactively changes both Election Day 2004 and Election Day 2000 to April 1st, 2004 and April 1st, 2000 respectively.

In an impassioned speech on the floor of the House, Jackson said, "If the votes don't ADD up, we must not SHUT up. As our President himself has said, 'There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas – it’s probably in Tennessee – that says: Fool me once, shame on… shame on you. But fool me… you can’t get fooled again.’ And in conclusion Mr. Speaker, we must say to the people of Florida, Ohio, America and the world, 'Just kidding!' and 'Keep hope alive!'"

[emlev]

18. I have concerns also about using Jackson's name

(though if you're going to, please capitalize "Congressman.")
Similar concerns about using Merriam-Webster in my idea below.

What about saying that citizens' groups are pressuring Jackson to introduce such an amendment? Then you get to make up more names of groups, it pulls his name in but doesn't implicate him.

[Bill Bored]

20. Good idea. How about this:

Since he's already introduced an amendment, an anti-election-fraud coalition of some kind asks him to amend the amendment!

Currently it just guarantees the right to vote (must fact-check this of course), so we ask him to add the other stuff. Then instead of him making the speech, the quote comes from the petition addressed to him, but still includes Bush's "don't get fooled again" faux pas.

All we need is a cute name for the group.

[marions ghost]

23. creative solution, to

put the election fraud group in to push for amendment.

[omega minimo]

9. SB 501: Fair Recount Audit Usage Directive

F.R.A.U.D.



April 1 is perfect for counter mexed missages



:kick:

[Peace Patriot]

4. Here are some ideas from the Museum of Hoaxes'

"Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes of All Time" to stir the brain cells...

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/aprilfool/


#6: Nixon for President
In 1992 National Public Radio's Talk of the Nation program announced that Richard Nixon, in a surprise move, was running for President again. His new campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." Accompanying this announcement were audio clips of Nixon delivering his candidacy speech. Listeners responded viscerally to the announcement, flooding the show with calls expressing shock and outrage. Only during the second half of the show did the host John Hockenberry reveal that the announcement was a practical joke. Nixon's voice was impersonated by comedian Rich Little.

#7: Alabama Changes the Value of Pi
The April 1998 issue of the New Mexicans for Science and Reason newsletter contained an article claiming that the Alabama state legislature had voted to change the value of the mathematical constant pi from 3.14159 to the 'Biblical value' of 3.0. Before long the article had made its way onto the internet, and then it rapidly made its way around the world, forwarded by people in their email. It only became apparent how far the article had spread when the Alabama legislature began receiving hundreds of calls from people protesting the legislation. The original article, which was intended as a parody of legislative attempts to circumscribe the teaching of evolution, was written by a physicist named Mark Boslough.

#8: The Left-Handed Whopper
In 1998 Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version."


#9: Hotheaded Naked Ice Borers
In its April 1995 issue Discover Magazine announced that the highly respected wildlife biologist Dr. Aprile Pazzo had discovered a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. These fascinating creatures had bony plates on their heads that, fed by numerous blood vessels, could become burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speeds. They used this ability to hunt penguins, melting the ice beneath the penguins and causing them to sink downwards into the resulting slush where the hotheads consumed them. After much research, Dr. Pazzo theorized that the hotheads might have been responsible for the mysterious disappearance of noted Antarctic explorer Philippe Poisson in 1837. "To the ice borers, he would have looked like a penguin," the article quoted her as saying. Discover received more mail in response to this article than they had received for any other article in their history.

#10: Planetary Alignment Decreases Gravity
In 1976 the British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on BBC Radio 2 that at 9:47 AM a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur that listeners could experience in their very own homes. The planet Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, temporarily causing a gravitational alignment that would counteract and lessen the Earth's own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment that this planetary alignment occurred, they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, BBC2 began to receive hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman even reported that she and her eleven friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room.

------

I love Bill Bored's idea, but we'd need to make up a serious-sounding civic or historical group to propose making April 1 into Election Day. The Society for the Prevention of Dictators Becoming President. Something like that.

------

The origin of April Fool's day seems to date back to a change made by the Church in Rome from the Julian (Pagan) calendar to the Gregorian (Catholic) calendar, in 1582. April Fool's was the Pagan celebration of the New Year, in late March/early April. The Gregorian calendar changed the date of New Year's to Jan. 1 (and changed late March/earlyApril to the mourning of the passion and death of Christ and the Easter celebration of his resurrection from the dead). But many people resisted this change, and continued with their Pagan celebrations of spring. The Christian establishment took to playing jokes on those who forgot or who defied the change--false invitations to parties, and so on (wild goose chases), and other kinds of tricks.

So it would seem to be a Christian holiday--a day to play tricks on clueless Pagans. However, when I was young, I was told that April Fools' was a Pagan tradition and that "the Fool" meant Jesus Christ, who was foolish to die for our sins. Apart from the wisdom of that--I mean, given the totality of human sins, you have to wonder about someone who would take on all the punishment for them--what the teller of this myth meant was that Pagans were mocking Jesus (rather like the Roman soldiers who were said to have mocked his pretention to kingship with the crown of thorns). As young Catholics, we weren't supposed to play April Fool's tricks. (It was making fun of Jesus.)

Take your pick, I guess--anti-Pagan, or anti-Christian. Somewhere in here is a nifty April Fool's trick for George Bush and that minority of Americans who voted for him.

[Pacifist Patriot]

8. I considered this and am wondering if it would backfire.

Too many people already think election fraud is ridiculous without bringing it up on a day notorious for practical jokes. I worry the point would be lost and the seriousness of the issue would be mocked. Okay, I know I'm being a buzz crush but I'm just not sure April Fool's Day is the right occasion. I could be convinced otherwise. My mind isn't entirely set against the notion.

Speaking of occasions though, has anyone given any thought to Fourth of July demonstrations?

[marions ghost]

12. doesnt it work tho, if you take the assumption

that "fraud is ridiculous" and turn it upside down? Throw out the hook and bend it? By the end, you have people reading it three times to figure it out. And then the light dawns...
--works as a way to draw attention without hard sell/high seriousness. For some, this is a better approach. (I don't really see how this could backfire, at worst those with closed minds will just say, oh those election activists again...). You're not going to open closed minds with this--you're going to just say once again, in a clever and pointed way, that there's still a lot to NOT get over...and plant some seeds of doubt.

4th of July would be another good occasion to send out an election oriented message. You could write a pithy one for that, PP. That one should be strong, brief but strong.

[emlev]

19. Point worth considering

Thank you for bringing it up.
It seems to me that it could be useful to get some of these news stories into left media followed by real stories with real information. I wonder if there are outlets that would do that.

[emlev]

13. Merriam-Webster Redefines "fix?"

How's this?

April 1, 2005

In response to the widespread evidence of election fraud, Merriam-Webster announced today that the 2006 edition of their dictionary will include an updated definition of the verb "fix." Company spokeswoman L.I. Klee-Storey reports, "As with other words, such as 'cleave,' 'fix' has heretofore borne multiple definitions that stand in direct contrast to one another. Until now, this has been of slight consequence. However, in light of recent events--notably the United States presidential election of 2004--it has become clear that the word "fix," in its multiple definitions, holds the possibility of being intentionally used to mislead the public.

"When charges are made, for example, that voting technology must be 'fixed,' the public has a right to know whether the speaker intends 'to influence the actions, outcome, or effect of by improper or illegal methods,' (previously definition #7) or in fact has the goal 'to repair, mend, restore or cure' (definition #6) the voting technology in question."

To this end, Merriam-Webster has eliminated all meanings of the word "fix" that suggest the concept of repairing or restoring, leaving only one definition: "to influence the actions, outcome, or effect of by improper or illegal methods."

On the heels of this announcement, several lawsuits have been threatened. However, courts are expected to determine that only those whose livelihoods are at stake have standing to sue. As a result, dismissal of most of the suits is expected in short order. Only the litigation being instigated by J. Kenneth Blackwell on behalf of the Republican Party, Diebold Election Systems, ES&S and Triad GSI (the final three being electronic voting/tabulation companies) is likely to be heard in court.

http://www.merriam-webster.com>

[Peace Patriot]

14. Very funny, emlev. But it needs a final coup de grace use of the the word

..."fix" in the last paragraph, thus...

On the heels of Merriam-Webster's announcement, several lawsuits have been threatened, regarding the company's retention of the good and bad meanings of "fix." However, the courts are expected to determine that only those whose livelihoods are at stake have standing to sue on this matter. Dismissal of most of the suits is expected. Only the litigation being instigated by J. Kenneth Blackwell on behalf of the Republican Party, Diebold Election Systems, ES&S and Triad GSI (electronic voting companies) is likely to be heard in court. Blackwell et al, in addition to seeking a stay of Merriam-Webster's action, is further demanding that all the negative definitions of "fix" (as in "fixing an election") be removed from Merriam Webster dictionaries, and is seeking discovery on the matter of "left-wing radical think tank" influences upon the once-venerable dictionary company.

[emlev]

17. I agree that's an improvement. Thanks. n/t

[Pacifist Patriot]

16. LOL!

[marions ghost]

21. Brilliant!!

but make up a plausible hyphenated alternative to Merriam-Webster

[Pacifist Patriot]

15. Here's my stab at satire. Not really my forte I'm afraid.

Diebold and ES&S Issue Joint Statement Rescinding Blackwell’s Retirement Fund

Washington, DC -- April 1, 2005 - Ohio Secretary of State, Kenneth Blackwell made a stunning admission of complicity in election fraud on Wednesday, March 31, 2005 setting off the beginning of a potential Constitutional Crisis for the third time in just five years. The presidential election of 2000 resulted in a lengthy media circus cut short by the appointment of George W. Bush to the presidency by the U.S. Supreme Court. The second crisis of January 6, 2005 was narrowly averted by sheer apathy and ignorance as there was not a media circus, but a media blackout.

At the press conference following his late night confession at Byrne’s Pub in Columbus, Ohio, Mr. Blackwell tearfully took full responsibility for the widespread voter suppression that disenfranchised countless minority and lower income voters. “I can’t believe I betrayed my brothers and sisters in such a shameless manner. Please forgive me for making you stand out in the freezing rain for hours and hours. I never should have sent those extra machines over to Upper Arlington. My bad! Oh, and those voter roll purges, direct mail pieces that sent you to the wrong polling place, rejected registration cards on flimsy paper and provisional ballots because of using 2000 voter rolls…those were pretty crappy things I did too.”

Diebold, ES&S, the Republican National Committee and Bush/Cheney 2004 immediately convened a meeting at an undisclosed location to discuss the ramifications to their companies and organizations. Diebold, already irritated with Mr. Blackwell for failing to secure the contracts to place their paperless touchscreen voting machines in all 88 Ohio counties, issued the strongest statement condemning Blackwell’s traitorous statements.

A Diebold spokesman said, “O’Dell said we were committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president next year, clearly we banked on the wrong guy. Literally. We’re immediately halting all payments to his gubernatorial campaign and closing the account in Grand Cayman.” The spokesman’s brother speaking for ES&S added, “Yeah, what he said.”

Despite Mr. Blackwell’s assertions that he had nothing to do with the homeland security lockdown during Warren County’s vote count he did comment, “Damn, that was a good one. If I’d thought of it sooner we could have had that going on all over the state!” Mr. Blackwell also denies any knowledge of why the exit polls deviate from the election results outside of a reasonable margin of error and why voter turnout in one county was over 100%. Mr. Blackwell responded to these questions with a shrug, “What can I say? I suck at math.”

President Bush issued a brief comment from his ranch in Crawford, TX. “I am shocked and awed that Ken Blackwell approved of my leadership so much that he would go to such….what’s the word?…um, yeah, lengths…to make sure I was reappointed, I mean re-elected. The Bible says something about loving your friends as much as you hate your enemies, boy howdy that man was a true friend.” Glancing over at Alberto “Torturoo” Gonzalez who was slowly shaking his head, Bush added, “Of course treason is punishable by the death penalty. I hope Blackwell’s got good life insurance. I hear Diebold and ES&S are about to cut him off.” Aids quickly ushered Bush out of the room.

The Republican National Committee has announced they will host a press conference in Barrow, AK on April 15, 2005 and welcomes all media outlets to attend.

Democrats in Congress have yet to respond.

[marions ghost]

22. LOL

really good, Pacifist Patriot. We are living in absurd times, where mainstream "news" is non-existent or surreal or a joke, where you can get more Reality on the Comedy Channel. Applause for all the efforts here using humor to get across the details of the consistently under-hyped and under-appreciated election thefts. Humor has a way of cutting to the chase. Maybe when you have these blurbs in final form, put them out to other DU groups to help disseminate?
:toast:

[Bill Bored]

24. Last try. Anyone want to take this over, be my guest. Just don't hog all

the credit if it's published. :)

I fact-checked the part about Jackson's amendment.

Voting Rights Group Pushes Jesse Jackson Jr. on Constitutional Amendment

Washington, Apr. 1, 2005

In the wake of the controversial Presidential election of 2004, after which Congress challenged the electoral votes of a state for the first time in over one hundred years, Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-IL) has introduced a joint resolution proposing a Constitutional Amendment to explicitly guarantee all American citizens at least 18 years of age the right to vote. But members of a grass roots organization fighting election fraud and voter disenfranchisement don't think Jackson's amendment goes far enough.

In their petition to Mr. Jackson, members of the non-partisan Citizens for Open Voting, Election Reform and Un-Programming (COVERUP) are asking Mr. Jackson to introduce an additional measure to be known as the Amendment to Prevent and Remove Illegitimate Leaders (APRIL). Their additional language provides for equal numbers of ballots and voting machines in all jurisdictions, bans all forms of paperless electronic voting, requires secretaries of state to be non-partisan, bans lobbying and political contributions by voting machine companies, and retroactively changes both Election Day 2004 and Election Day 2000 to April 1st, 2004 and April 1st, 2000 respectively.

COVERUP's petition states, "If the votes don't ADD up, we must not SHUT up. As George W. Bush himself has said, 'There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas – it’s probably in Tennessee – that says: Fool me once, shame on… shame on you. But fool me… you can’t get fooled again.’ And therefore, with respect to the last two presidential elections, WE must say to the people of Florida, Ohio, New Mexico, America and the world, 'Just kidding!'"