Hymn for the Des Moines Register (Dated but Still Applicable)

[Hardrada]

(To the tune of All Who Would Valiant Be, the UK version)


All who would newspapers sell,
See our example.
Our coverage is wide.
Our views are ample.
If you distort and lie,
Why not give us a try.
We might perhaps reply
In our great paper.


All die in airplane crash
So says our paper.
It truly was a smash
And in our paper.
We'll cover it one year
And photograph each tear
With sorrow so sincere
To sell our paper.

If you might suffer rape
We want your story,
Details to make us gape,
Your name for glory.
The glory's OURS by right
But you might glimpse a sight
As long as you are WHITE
And in our paper.

And if we go to war,
We'll say, "A pity,"
As foes in thousands die
In flaming cities
Then we'll cheerlead for Norm
And gallant Desert Storm
And Moms in uniform
In our brave paper.

But we shan't cover those
Out-Iowa peons.
Let them read local rags
Or hold a seance.
We'll only cover Clive
And Urbandale and strive
To check each West Des Moines dive.
God bless our paper.

[Critters2]

1. Take it from someone who now lives in the land of

the Chicago Tribune....there are MUCH worse papers than the Register!! The Trib never met a Republican it coouldn't endorse. I finally canceled my Trib subscription and now read the Register online for national news, and our local paper for state and local. The Trib was great for putting around and under the litter boxes, but for reading material..not so much.

Nice work, though. We sang "We Who Would Valiant Be" at my ordination. UCCs love this hymn, 'cuz we're the descendants of the pilgrims.

[Hardrada]

2. My wife is a UCC member.

In winter I'm a Buddhist.

In summer I'm an anarchist!

[Critters2]

8. Which UCC does she belong to?

And you can be a UCC and a Buddhist and an Anarchist. Really. I've done it.

[rurallib]

3. I am so old that I can remember when ..........

the register was considered one of the 10 best newspapers in the country, ranking with such papers as the NY Times and the St.Louis Post-Dispatch. This was in a day when most towns had 2 papers and the large cities would have 4 or 5.
Not sure how it ranks these days. I seldom read it anymore since Gannet took it over, just occasional Sundays. I do like Reka Basu and the Doak column. They seem to be bright lights in a somewhat dismal newspaper landscape.
Someone above mention the Chicago Trib. They have gone full circle and then some. Started as a very conservative paper, they were considered a liberal rag in the late 60s & 70s and then returned to its roots shortly after that.

[Hardrada]

4. DM had two papers two. Other was the Tribune.

Some good columnists got started in that one. DMR is not totally a Gannett chain paper yet. For some reason it still shows a few signs of life.

[rurallib]

5. I think Gannet slackened the reins on their 'local' papers

a few years back when they realized that the McDonald's approach didn't work for newspapers.
Shared a plane ride with a VP for Gannet about 15 years ago. He was against the direction his company was going and was fighting to return local control to the local editors. Never know if it was he who caused a policy change. He was one super frustrated man at the time.

[9119495]

6. I'm starting to hate it a bit more and more, but it really is

all over the place.

They are progressive on health care (for nationalizing it) and trade (anti-Wal-Mart/China stuff)...

but they are going really right wing on education led over the cliff by Yepsen. He must have been a good friend to Brandsted because he used to be very right of center, went a bit towards the center when Vilsack came in (perhaps to make a new friend or just blow with the wind). Now, he's anti-anything Democratic led. He's also increasingly anti-Vilsack...but not in the way most on this board are.

I miss Donald Kaul.

[rurallib]

7. Ah! Donald Kaul. Helped me keep my sanity in the 60s and 70s

A man who could see humor in the worst situation and then state it with a wry twist. Haven't read a Kaul column since the mid 70s or whenever Gannet took the Register over.