Mandatory counseling if you have children and are getting divorced?

[Kadie]

I just posted this article in LBN....

Posted on Sun, May. 01, 2005
Bill would bar suits blaming restaurants for obesity

STEVE LAWRENCE
Associated Press

SACRAMENTO - Californians couldn't blame restaurants hawking triple-decker cheese burgers, super-sized fries and giant shakes for their weight problems - at least not in court - under a bill awaiting a vote this week in an Assembly committee.

more...
http://www.sanluisobispo.com/mld/sanluisobispo/11539145.htm


and further down in the article was this...

Here's what else is going on at the Capitol this week:

snip...
MARRIAGE COUNSELING:

Couples with children who file for divorce or legal separation would have to take family counseling classes under a bill by Sen. Dennis Hollingsworth, R-La Mesa, that's scheduled to be considered by the Senate Judiciary Committee on Tuesday.

The classes would have to focus on the potential impact of separation or divorce on the children.


Good idea or not?

[Maddy McCall]

1. Not.

More government intrusion into private citizens' lives.

[Kadie]

3. My first reaction to this was this scenario

A woman trying to get her and her kids out of an abusive relationship but they are forced into counseling that drags out the whole ordeal.

Then I thought of my parents getting divorced (no abuse involved) and how difficult it was for my brother and myself. Maybe some sort of counseling would have made things easier.

I agree that it should not be mandatory, but I would like to see "some" parents be more aware of how it does hurt the children.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

5. rather the government had intervened this way

than the way they did me. The DA used me as bait to lure my father into a trap where he could be arrested for non-support, among other things. It's not fun to be 7 years old and be surrounded by uniformed cops pointing their guns at you. I still freak when I see a uniformed cop. (BTW, my father jumped bail and I only saw him one more time in my life-so I had this traumatic experience for nothing. At least if the DA had insisted on counseling, maybe it would have helped).

[Kadie]

6. How awful.

I can't believe they used you that way. That is just terrible. I am so sorry you had to go through that as a child.

[Ron Green]

2. I think it's a good idea. Everyone can learn from it, and there's nothing

wrong with the State encouraging personal growth and helping minimize the damage to kids.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

4. I wish it had been around when my parents were divorced

it took me decades to understand that the divorce wasn't my fault, that there was a lot more to the dynamic than the black/white scenerio my mother told me (I was 6 at the time of the divorce, and never saw my father after I was 9). Perhaps if I'd had counselling, I would not have been taught to be terrified of my father and would have tried to see him again before he died. And I would have forgiven my mother for what I now realize wasn't all her fault long before I did.

[MissMarple]

7. One of our local fundie import representatives tried to pass this here.

Colorado has been overrun by California fundamentalists who have access to deep pockets to get elected here. Dave Schultheis (sp?) is a member of Phyllis Schaffley's Eagle Forum and was at the Family Research Council's big doings that vilified anyone to the left of John Ashcroft. Such a law could make sense if it was funded, and if it maintained flexibility in it's application. As ours was written, it was bad law. What they really want to go after is the divorce laws, to make divorces harder to get.

And in my view, the money would be better spent in premarital counseling and educating people about the realities of married life, child development, and their parental responsibilities.

[applegrove]

8. And what of the families where that will not work? What of the affaires

that break up a marriage and everyone has gone nuclear. Are you going to put the two of them in a room together when someone is totally living with someone else? What of the abusive misogynists? What if the wife is some sort of monster or control freak.

I think you can perhaps give the working poor the chance at free marital counseling. I think that would be good. I think it should be a highly suggested option. I cannot imagine two reasonable adults not trying a second or a third time with the help of a counselor.

I have known people who spent a 5 years trying to get the husband into counseling.

But I am sure a divorce is the better life for many, many kids.

What about people who married without having any life experience and ended up with someone totally unsuitable. I don't think kids need to see the family unit saved all the time. You have to assume that all humans are equal in their humanity if you force marriage counseling. There are monsters out there. There are people out there who will try and control the last breath of their partner and don't want to change.

This is so strange. I hate being ambushed on both sides of an issue. Are the Repukes going to regulate or under-regulate? Which is it? Such is life when you have sociopaths leading the issues. They like to put the squeeze on.

[LeftyMom]

9. Counseling wouldn't have helped my parents

They toughed it out as long as they could, they just couldn't stand each other. Mandatory counseling wouldn't have changed thier personalities (they have to be the least compatible people alive) it just would've dragged it out enough that my younger sister would be old enough to remember the arguments and I would've understood more of the dysfunction they hid from me.

Now counseling before they got married might not have been a bad idea, but making it mandatory would just drive more people to marry in Nevada to avoid the hassle.

[davidinalameda]

10. I thought the Repukes were for smaller government

guess not

[EFerrari]

11. Not only a bad idea, it's idiotic.

You can't force people into a trusting relationship with a counselor.

Geezus.

I want this government out of my bedroom AND out of my psyche.

[OnionPatch]

12. It's none of their damn business!

I'm so sick of the government butting into our personal lives. Sorry, but this is bullshit.

[Book Lover]

13. It's not even a family counseling session

You and your soon-to-be-ex have to take a freaking class together before you can rid yourselves of each other? All this does is guarantee more Reno divorces.