Will Durst on 960 The Quake this Saturday and next Saturday

[EFerrari]

@ noon! Here's his last column if you're not familiar with this fine SF Bay Area political comic. Will is taking Al Franken's morning slot here beginning in January; Al's going to an afternoon slot.

(Mods: This column posted with author's permission)





THE FIRST GREEN PRESIDENT

NBC’s Brian WIlliams asked George Bush if the federal
government’s faltering response to Hurricane Katrina
was due to racial indifference and for a half a second
you could hear almost Dubya’s vertebrae fuse together
as he perceptibly grew about a quarter of a millimeter
and his voice trembled and he snarled with a
noticeable lack of tele prompting, “You can call me
anything you want, but do not call me a racist.”

Which was not the point, but it is true. Its not fair
to call the President of the United States a racist.
This is not a man who gives the tiniest whit about
black or white. This is a man who only cares about
green. And whether or not you have any. In this
country, if you’re rich, you’ll get taken care of. If
you’re not, you won’t. Pretty much as simple as that.

He is neither an ageist or a sexist or a fascist or a
typist. Or a homophobe. Or a xenophobe. Or a
xylophone. Rather, he is a cashist. The First Green
President, but the only whales he’s saving are the
Vegas kind. Tax cuts for the wealthy. Economic stimuli
for the wealthy. Legislative amendments for the
wealthy. Overseas incentives for the wealthy. Judicial
appointments designed to nurture favorable decisions
for the wealthy. Secret winking loopholes for the
wealthy. Complimentary all you can eat seafood buffets
with a pearl in every oyster for the wealthy. No bid
contracts for his buddies. Who happen to be, say it
with me now… wealthy.

For the poor: you got your cuts. Winter heating
subsidy cuts for the poor. Student aid cuts for the
poor. Health cuts for the poor. Food stamp and
nutritional cuts for the poor. Education cuts for the
poor. Outlandish dress codes at State Dinners to
further disenfranchise the poor. Outsourcing jobs to
create more poor. With George Bush in charge, its a
bull market for poor.

In other words, if you got money, just sit still and
you will be showered with more. If you ain’t got, he
and his people will throw up plexiglass, guard dogs,
razor wire, enough red tape to wrap a moose: whatever
it takes to keep you from getting.

I know the theory on paper is trickle down. Rich
people spend their money and it trickles down to the
poor. But the theory on paper is crap. Rich people
hang onto their money. That’s how they got rich. You
give us poor people money and we’ll spend every damn
penny we get our grubby little hands on. Why do you
think we’re poor? Blowing it on superfluous stuff like
food and rent and medicine and gasoline. Silly
profligate us. Besides, I’m tired of being trickled
on.

So, lets be straight about this. Kanye West is dead
wrong about the President. George Bush doesn’t hate
black people. George Bush doesn’t hate poor people
either. He just LOVES rich people. A whole lot. Like a
fellow waiter back in Milwaukee used to say, “its not
that I like the rich more than the poor, its just that
they tip so much better.”
Political comic Will Durst actually thinks poor people
tip better. But the rich do order more expensive
bottles of wine.


DON’T FORGET! THE WILL & WILLIE SHOW. STARTING JANUARY
2ND. MON- FRI. 7- 10 AM. 960. THE QUAKE.

AND, THE BIG FAT YEAR END KISS OFF COMEDY SHOW.
DECEMBER 26TH THROUGH THE 31ST. WILL DURST, JIM SHORT,
DEB & MIKE, STEVE KRAVITZ AND ARTHUR GAUS.
WILLDURST.COM FOR DETAILS.

will durst
wing commander