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Well, the first thing I wanna say is, mandate, my ass! Because it seems as though we’ve been convinced that 26% of the registered voters, not even 26% of the American people but 26% of the registered voters, form a mandate or a landslide 21% voted for Skippy and 3-4% voted for somebody else who might have been running
But oh yeah, I remember, in this year that we have declared from Shogun to Raygun I remember what I said about Raygun Meant it Acted like an actor – Hollyweird Acted like a liberal Acted like General Franco when he acted like Governor of California then he acted like a Republican then he acted like somebody was gonna vote for him for President And now we act like 25% of the registered voters is actually a mandate
We all actors in this, I suppose
What has happened is that in the last 20 years America has changed from a producer to a consumer And all consumers know that when the producer names the tune the consumer has got to dance – the way it is We used to be a producer (very inflexible at that) and now we are consumers and finding it very difficult to understand
Natural resources and minerals will change your world The Arabs used to be in the Third World They have bought the Second World and put a down payment on the First Controlling your resources will control your world
This country has been surprised by the way the world looks now They don’t know what they want to be, Matt Dillon or Bob Dylan They don’t know if they want to be diplomats or continue the same policy of nuclear nightmare diplomacy John Foster Dulles ain’t nothin’ but the name of an airport now
The idea concerns the fact that this country wants no-stalgia They want to go back as far as they can even if it’s only as far as last week not to face now or tomorrow, but to face backwards
And yesterday was the day of all cinema heroes riding to the rescue at the last possible moment the day of the man in the white hat or the man on the white horse or the man who always came to save America at the last possible moment (Someone always came to save America at the last possible moment especially in B movies) And when America found itself having a hard time facing the future they looked for people like John Wayne but since John Wayne was no longer available, they settled for Ronald Raygun And it has placed us in a situation that we can only look at like a B movie
Come with us back to those inglorious days when heroes weren’t zeroes before fair was square when the cavalry came straight away and all American men were like Hemingway to the days of the wondrous B movie
The producer, underwritten by ALL the millionaires necessary will be Caspar “the Defensive” Weinberger No more animated choice is available
The director will be Attila the Hague running around frantically, declaring himself in charge the ultimate realization of the inmates taking over the asylum
The screenplay will be from the book called “Voodoo Economics” by George “Papa Doc” Bush
Music by the Village People, a very military, macho group (Macho, macho man!)
A theme song for saber rattling and selling war door to door (Remember, we’re looking for the closest thing we can find to John Wayne)
Cliches abound like King Clues of some spaced out Marlin Perkins, a Raygun contemporay Cliches like “itchy trigger finger” and “tall in the saddle” and “riding off” or “on into the sunset” Cliches like ”Get off of our planet by sundown” More so than cliches like “He died with his boots on”
Marine-tough, the man is Bogart-tough, the man is Cagney-tough, the man is Hollywood-tough, the man is Cheap steak-tough, and Bozo-substantial
The ultimately synthetic selling of Madison Avenue a masterpiece, a miracle, a cotton-candy politician Presto Macho! (Macho, macho man!)
Put yo’ orders in, America and quickly as come back yo’ leader is duplicated (accent on the dupes) Because all of a sudden we have fallen prey to selective amnesia remembering what we want to remember and forgetting what we want to forget All of a sudden the man who called for a bloodbath on our college campuses is supposed to be Dudley Goddamn Doright?
You go give them liberals hell, Ronnie That was the mandate to the new captain Bligh on the new ship of fools Fools doubtlessly based on his chameleon performance of the past as a liberal Democrat as the head of the Studio Actors Guild When other cellulid were cringing in terror from McCarthy Ron stood tall
It goes all the way back from Hollywood to hillbillydom from liberal to libelous from Bonzo to Birch idol born again
Civil rights, women’s rights, gay rights it’s all wrong Call in the cavalry to disrupt this perception of freedom Godammnit! First one wants freedom, then the whole damn world wants freedom
No-stalgia that’s what we want The good old days when we gave ‘em hell when the buck stopped somewhere and you could still buy something with it to a time when movies was in black and white and so was everything else
Even if we go back to the campaign trail before Sixgun Raygun shot off his face and developed hoof in mouth disease before the free press went down before a full court press and were reluctant to view the menu because they knew the only thing available was crow
Lon Chaney, our man of a thousand faces - no match for Ron Doug Henning does the makeup Special effects from Grecian Formula 16 and Crazy Louie Transportation furnished by David Rockefeller of the Remote Control Company Their slogan is, “Why wait for 1984? You can panic now, and avoid the rush”
So much for the good news
As Wall Street goes, so goes the nation and here’s a look at the global numbers Business is up, human rights are down peace is shaky, war items are hot the house claims all ties Jobs down, money is scarce common sense is at an all time low in heavy trading
Movies were looking better than ever, and now no one is looking because we’re starring in a B movie and we would rather had John Wayne We would rather had John Wayne
You don't have to be in no hurry You ain't never really got to worry You don't need to check on how you feel Just keep repeating that none of this is real And if you're sensing that something's wrong Well just remember that it won't be too long before the director cuts this scene, yeah
This ain't really your life, ain't really your life, ain't really ain't nothin' but a movie This ain't really your life, ain't really your life, ain't really ain't nothin' but a movie This ain't really your life, ain't really your life, ain't really ain't nothin' but a movie This ain't really your life, ain't really your life, ain't really ain't nothin' but a movie
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