Bush Suffers Breakdown On TV, Wins Debate

[Rose Siding]

AP-In a stunning display of raw emotion never before seen on national television, President George W. Bush appeared to suffer a psychological breakdown during last night's square-off with Democratic nominee John Kerry.

Political commentators were quick to agree that Bush won the debate.

Observers first suspected a change in Bush's emotional state when, following a blistering attack from Kerry, a large, apparently wet stain began to appear on the front of the President's pants.

Laying his head upon the podium, Bush began to speak in a soft, high-pitched voice. His microphone was able to pick up questions apparently aimed at his father, former President George H.W. Bush, rather than his opponent. "Daddy. Daddy. Daddy, why don't you love me? " Bush whimpered.

Cokie Roberts, in a post debate roundtable on ABC, stated that such actions "clearly presented a softer, sensitive side" of Bush, "that every man in America will identify with."
.........
MSNBC's Chris Matthews was quick to point out how the alcohol reference would resonate with "Joe Six-pack," while CNN's Wolf Blitzer heralded Bush's use of "the `N' word," as "an appeal to the hippity-hop generation."

As Bush crumpled to the floor, his rival, Massachusetts Senator John Kerry, implored the audience to "give the President some air." Kerry also called out to the audience, asking "Is there a doctor in the house?" a clear violation of the debate rules.

....MORE from jazzmaniac...

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2004/9/30/0597/64280

[Jack_Dawson]

1. LMAO! - It's 2000 all over again

Isn't that what happened last time?

That is some funny-ass shit.

CD

[cheshire]

2. Now that would be sweet. I see a ten foot pole in Roves hand poking *.

[tritsofme]

3. Somebody owes me a keyboard

lol

[ClassWarrior]

4. Wicked.

23.

[jus_the_facts]

5. Isn't very funny.......

.....wish I could laugh about it...but the seriousness of this election and the parallels to 2000 are just toooooo close for comfort...and I'm SURE the media will begin' goin' overboard to prop *ushes ass up as a genius from here on out....just watch...don't think I'll bother! x(

[Crunchy Frog]

6. Bush drop pants and takes a dump on stage

in what commentators are calling "a brilliant rhetorical statement". All major pundits are agreeing that this brilliant move(ment) has probably just sealed the election for Bush. Kerry was left absolutely speechless by this display, demonstrating once more, his unfitness to lead this nation.

Bush's debating skills now being compared with Cicero's. More to come on CNN, MSNBC and FOX.

[Jack_Dawson]

7. "It was a commanding, decisive dump"

You can't "learn" leadership like that. It's something you're born with.

[ClassWarrior]

9. I've been saying for days that he's gonna belch loudly, then unzip...

...his fly and pee on JK's leg. The corporate media whores will take it as proof that he's the kind of guy you want to fall off the wagon with.

23.

[ochazuke]

13. Democratic response: poor pre-debate planning

Numerous West Wing staff had advised the president to go to the bathroom before the debate, but after Cheney whispered something in his hear, the two chuckled and left the room, ignoring the stunned staffers.

[Bleacher Creature]

8. Bush Bites Bat's Head Off

And then proceeds to dominate Kerry in the debate.

News at 11.

[VOX]

10. "Jesus Christ Pinch-Hits for Kerry, but Loses Debate: 'Too Ethereal'"

That's **our** media! :grr:

[Clinton Crusader]

11. stop it! you're killing me here!

I am laughing my ass off, probably from hysteria or nerves, but fuck, is this thread funny!
:kick:

[Piperay]

12. GREAT thread

I'm ROTFLMAO. :bounce:

[phish420]

14. LOL! Thank you, I needed that!...nt

[Sparkly]

15. What a hoot!!

I love it!! Thanks for posting it here :)

[NightOwwl]

16. Keep the laughs coming people...

I need something to take my mind off my tummy-ache.

[Rose Siding]

17. Gotta love the cautious Rather report

snip>
On CBS, Dan Rather told his network's viewers that the debate was being carried via a pool arrangement of cameras, and that he could not verify that Bush actually was curled up in a fetal position.

*must be nerves; I can't quit giggling about this

[RafterMan]

18. I've been hoping that either

a) someone could find the frequency of that little earpiece Bush wears and start feeding him gibberish.

or

b) that Bush, under the strain of his failed policies and the hi-beam spotlights, will start speaking in tongues.

[Arkana]

19. Yeah, kinda like in "Bruce Almighty"

Where Bruce screws with the news anchor's mind: "shfsldkgfhoiutrflkdvnjm,cnvjdfgksnlkfgndoodoocacapoopoo!"