Leno on the campaigns

[GreenPartyVoter]

"Both candidates now are trying to lower expectations for how they'll do on the debates. For example, Kerry tried to lower expectations for himself by saying Bush has never lost a debate and that he is a formidable opponent. Then Bush lowered expectations for himself when he said, 'Hey, what does "formable" mean?'"

"Teresa Heinz Kerry predicted at a fund-raiser the other day that Osama bin Laden will be captured just before the election. Of course when President Bush heard he was furious. He said, 'How did she find out?'"

"Oil is at a record high. Almost $50 a barrel. Here's my question: Then why does it cost me almost $50 to fill my tank? I know I'm not using the whole barrel. I want a whole barrel!"