How can Kerry get Chimp OFF-SCRIPT without asking direct questions?

[Sparkly]

This is key: get him off-script so he needs to actually form logical thoughts and then form sentences to reflect those thoughts.

The Chimp is well-trained. As soon as somebody says "Iraq," his brain pushes "play" and you get certain selections, in random order but always the same words:

Saddam was an evil dictator.
He gassed his own people.
The world is safer without Saddam Hussein.
After 9/11, do I take the word of a madman or do I defend America? Faced with that choice, I'll defend America every time.
There's nothing complicated about supporting our troops in combat.
Freedom is not our gift to the world, it's the almighty's gift to mankind.
Freedom's on the march.

Sound familiar? He just pushes "play" and out come the tested phrases.

Since Kerry isn't allowed to ask him direct questions, but can pose rhetorical questions, what can he say that would FORCE a response, or rebuttal, or defense and push Chimp off-script?

[tinrobot]

1. Simple...

Come up with catchy one-liners for each canned phrase. Something to the effect of Reagan's "There you go again..."

[shraby]

3. He could toss one of his questions to

*, one that needs an answer that won't be in one of the canned answers he has on tap.

[belle]

23. "Lying shitheel" has a nice ring, but somehow I don't think that'll play..

[JackintheGreen]

2. Too obtuse?

COuld he point out the abridgement of OUR freedoms vis the Patriot Act, new back-scatter scanners in aiports that "see through clothing" (WSJ on Wednesday? mid-week in any event), the arrest, imprisonment and/or deportation of "people of interest," warrentless searches, etc.

And one more thing. Since I'm not yet allowed to post new threads, does anybody know (or has then been hashed out already) precisely what threat Cat Stevens (I've forgotten his Muslim name...something Yusef?) poses to the U.S.? I mean besides his awful music? DOes this mean that Britney will be deported soon?

[Guaranteed]

4. Yes- this is the key.

LOL maybe ask him about Afghanistan?

[Kahuna]

5. Say: If you Google "bush blames," you get 143,000 hits...

:&

[Blue_Roses]

6. the best way to throw him off is piss him off

anytime shrub gets pissed off, whether it be with reporters or the previous debate with McCain, he looks testy and it throws him into a permanent funk.

[yvr girl]

21. On one of the morning talk shows (George Steph.)

had a guest who watched every debate Kerry and Bush have ever participated in. One of his comments was basically the same. Get Bush angry because he doesn't hide his testiness well. His reactions belie his 'aw, shucks' personna.

[belle]

24. Yes. And Kerry can be quite bitchy, which I love. Hope he needles him

[Hekate]

22. Suggesting he has an evil heart apparently inflames him

W's so sure his motives are Christ-like. Impugning his intelligence doesn't bother him at all because it serves his purpose: people expecting a doofus are unprepared for the kind of low evil cunning and high political smarts he actually possesses.

Something I read online a couple of years ago, here or a listserve I'm on: The writer watched Bush in a debate. While Gore or whoever it was was speaking the camera wandered to Bush, who was gazing off into space looking vacant the way he does. The moment the speaker indicated he thought W's motives were bad, that his heart was not compassionate at all, etc. Bush snapped to attention and for one blazing moment the camera caught him looking absolutely furious.

It was a most interesting and potentially valuable insight into a Bush vulnerability.

Hekate

[Leilani]

31. David Gregory, the NBC correspondent who covers Bush

said the same thing about anger...he has had a couple of run-ins with Bush.

I think that is the key; try to get him to show his nasty side.

Maybe somthing about not honoring our fallen soldiers, by hiding their caskets.

Or maybe something about Bush only appearing before approved audiences.

Or what about uniter, not a divider.

How about when Bush travels overseas, not being able to go out & meet people, because he is so disliked.

[EndElectoral]

7. In a variety of ways such as...

Saddam was an evil dictator.

"Yes, he was, and so is the leader of North Korea. Some feel Fidel Castro is an evil dictator in our hemisphere. The question is - was Saddam Hussein an "imminent" threat to the United States of America to risk a pre-emptive strike with american lives. According to the CIA and even yourself you've stated that Saddam was not an "imminent" threat to the United States. And there is no verifiable link to Al queda's attack on 911, so why the urgency? Why not let the UN inspections work Mr. president? Why the rush to a unilateral pre-emptive action which has lead to the loss of America's finest?"

He gassed his own people.

"He gassed his own people with weapons that we supplied him. If we wished to take action for gassing his own people why did we not do so in the first gulf war under your father."

The world is safer without Saddam Hussein.

"According to the most recent statistics international terrorism has increased since the Hussein's capture, not decreased. Additionally, America is constantly living in fear, on alert every other week it seems."

After 9/11, do I take the word of a madman or do I defend America? Faced with that choice, I'll defend America every time.

"First off Iraq never attacked America on 911. Trying to link 911 terrorism to Iraq has been denied by you previously. Unless you're flip flopping on that issue. If you wanted to go after the madman reponsible for 911, why did we divert our attention from the real culprits and Osama Bin Laden"

There's nothing complicated about supporting our troops in combat.
Freedom is not our gift to the world, it's the almighty's gift to mankind.

"Of course we support our troops Mr. Bush. It is disingenious to accuse others who have differing viewpoints about solutions to the current quagmire to infer otherwise. As to freedom being the Almighty's Gift to the world, I thin kwe need to be very careful imposing our religious perceptions of a Christian God into a Muslim world. What you appear to be saying is that we are the instrument of God to bring this freedom to Iraq? but Mr. Bush we honestly don't know God's wishes for Iraq, do we? Our decisions are tempered by our own personal belefs which at times are in direct contrast to those people from an Islamic faith. So I would contend that your statement that this is not complicated issue strikes at the fundamental differences between the way we'd lead. You react emotionally and with good faith based on yuor personal bleeifs, rather than engaging the world and operating rationally and multi-laterally. A leader needs friends Mr. Bush, and a leader needs reason, and yes, the ability to admit when he may have been wrong and to be able to change course."

Freedom's on the march.

"I find this interesting in lieu of statements that a "partial election" may be acceptable. That a free election willbe held despite the security of polling places. While Baghdad itself, the largest province in the country, is not secure. While a census has not been conducted of the country or registration, or opposition candidates given the opportunity to convey their messages. This is not freedom or democracy Mr. President, and I think you are aware of that. Freedom forced through the barrel of a gun is not freedom."

[realFedUp]

8. Kerry should make statements....

let w play defense.

[napi21]

9. If America is really safer, why do we consistently raise the

"terra" allert?

Why do you prevent anyone who disagrees with you to attend your speeches?

Why did we almost shoot down the plane of a Governor that strayed off course in DC?

[Lex]

10. Kerry: "All I hear from Mr. Bush is canned catch phrases & nothing new."

Kerry should hammer this several times:

"Mr. Bush just gives catch-phrases and tired old replies over and over.

It is clear he or his Administration have nothing new to say, nothing new to propose.

The country deserves better than canned phrases over and over again."



Now, wouldn't that throw Chimpy off the track?

[Kahuna]

11. I like that one. In fact, it's excellent! That would definately throw..

* off because he is so rehearsed he will have no choice but to continue with his canned catch phrases.

[emulatorloo]

12. and repeat that Bush is in "fantasy world of spin" EOM

[renoray]

13. fantasy world and excuses

Bush is either in a fantasy world as in Iraq, or he has excuses...as in the reasons for being in Iraq. Virtually everything Bush spouts will fit in one of those two categories, and often both. Kerry should also make reference to "Bush's handlers" preparing his answers for him, and take a shot at Bush for not allowing spontaneous questions. Point out that the Republicans despite having control of everything don't seem to be getting anything done and are promising the same things they promised four years ago. If Bush hadn't spend 500 days on vacation, maybe he could have seen to it that things were getting done.

If things aren't going well for Kerry, I would say to piss Bush off he should talk about Laura killing her old boyfriend, especially if Bush pulls any shit about how the first lady should just stay at home and make cookies or whatever Laura does with her worthless time. At least staying home and baking cookies keeps her off the roads.

[babylonsister]

14. No way! regarding *'s wife. SHE is not the issue.

But I'll bet Mr. Kerry is boning up on the real issues and how to express himself effectively so everyone 'gets it'. I have great faith!

[HootieMcBoob]

25. Good one

He has to say this at some point during the debate.

[dansolo]

28. But then the media will spin that Kerry was attacking Bush

It would be a huge mistake to do this. The media will treat that the same way that they treated Gore's sighs. Kerry needs to be on his toes so that he doesn't give the media a ready made excuse to avoid talking about the actual answers that are given during the debates.

[gulliver]

15. Two ways.

1. Invite the viewers at home to take a sip of beer every time Bush repeats one of them.

2. Trickier. Imagine what conversations Bush is party to and think about something his group of assholes would laugh about that no one else would. Then wait until Bush needs a laugh. Get him to make a "quip" like the one about the Iraqi right/wrong direction poll being better than the U.S. He'll reach for humor, and he'll say something stupid.

[doc03]

16. Mr. pResident why did you go against your father's opinion that

Iraq would become a quagmire if we were to take Baghdad?

[Wind Dancer]

27. Good one!

Since he has a love/hate relationship with Poppy, any question or statement praising him would cause * to unravel and lose it. That is a button that needs to be pushed.

[A_Possum]

17. Ask him why he didn't kill Zarqawi the beheader...

when he had the chance, when the military wanted to kill Zarqawi in his camp, but Bush let him go on to do these horrific things again.

[stoptheinsanity]

18. "Catastrophic Success"

Ask him to spell something . . . catastrophic, hell success for that matter.

He'll never recover.

[GreenArrow]

19. an oldie but a goodie

Maybe some variation on this:

PRESIDENT BUSH: I think it's wrong to demonstrate against your own country or organize demonstrations against your own country in foreign soil. I just think it's wrong. Maybe they say, well, it's a youthful indiscretion. I was 19 or 20 flying off an aircraft carrier, and that shaped me to be Commander in Chief of the armed forces. And I'm sorry, but demonstrating -- it's not a question of patriotism. It's a question of character and judgment. Some say, well, you're a little old-fashioned. Maybe I am, but I just don't think that's right.

GOVERNOR CLINTON: When Joe McCarthy went around this country attacking people's patriotism, he was wrong. He was wrong. And a Senator from Connecticut stood up to him named Prescott Bush. Your father was right to stand up to Joe McCarthy. You were wrong to attack my patriotism. I was opposed to the war but I love my country and we need a President who will bring this country together, not divide it. We've got enough division. I want to lead a unified country.

[sundancekid]

20. a couple more ideas

"same ol' broken record."
"same ol' broken spin."
"same ol' broken promises."

"you can only fool SOME of the people, and NOT ALL of the time"

"apparently your father had a better clue of what it would take to keep the peace in Iraq, than did your administration"

"did you hear that Saddam Hussein wants to run for election next January? (how's that for democracy?)"

"when you renamed french fries as freedom fries, is it true the devil made you do it?"

"you know that fantasy land you live in about Iraq? well, I'm very sure that the american public is sick and tired of having to pay the rent on it"

[belle]

26. "Okay. But for those of us who DON'T live in Bizarro World..."

Nah, that'd be more me. Let's see:

"You said the exact same thing six months ago (a year ago, a year and a half ago). It wasn't true then and it isn't true now, and it's not going to get any truer just because you and your handlers keep repeating it over and over. I'm sorry to burst your fantasy bubble, but the REAL truth, the cold hard facts, are these:"

[cheshire]

29. How about a really loud buzzer he hits for every lie.

[mzmolly]

30. How bout something like this "This President will tell you that Saddam was

an evil dictator, that he gassed his own people ... while this is true, much of what This President has told you is NOT true. And, it is my assertion that the United States had more pressing priorities then Saddam Hussein, namely terrorism and Osama Bin Laden."

:P

Love this thread ... LOL Your Bush "play" scenario is great. He's like a broken record.