Parlor Advocacy Is Worse Than None At All

[Prism]

If recent events in LGBT civil rights are any indication, it seems like too many people on our side are engaged in parlor advocacy. Allow me to define it.

If you say you support equal treatment under the law, but find every avenue and approach to shut down criticism of anti-gay policies and actions, you are a parlor advocate.

If you believe same-sex marriage is guaranteed under the 14th Amendment, but take every opportunity to explain why this nation is simply too busy to address inequality, you are a parlor advocate.

If you tell stories of love and affection for gay friends, family, and co-workers, but criticize all and any attempts by the LGBT community to exert political pressure in pursuit of their goals, you are a parlor advocate.

If you claim to believe in civil rights for all, but declare access to American History off-limits and bar LGBT activists from building on the civil rights victories of the past, you are a parlor advocate.

If you never provide material support to the LGBT community when our lives at stake, dismiss our concerns when policies do us harm, never commit yourself to solidarity of action or movement, never have a kind word to say when an LGBT individual is upset by what a government, Republican or Democrat, has done to them, you are a parlor advocate.

When progress is possible, when the opportunity is ours for the taking, and you cannot move but to quiet the cries of those who are less free, you are a parlor advocate.

Twenty, thirty, fifty years from now, many parlor advocates will tell their grandchildren that they supported equal rights back in the day, that they helped make equality happen and brought relief and freedom to millions of families.

Did you?

Really?

[FreeState]

1. K&R

[Starry Messenger]

2. k&r

[QC]

3. Error: You've already recommended that thread.

[Zenlitened]

4. K&R.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

5. k&r.

[no name no slogan]

6. K'd & R'd

:thumbsup:

[terrya]

7. Recommended

I haven't been here in a while. And I won't be posting again.

But this is absolutely superb and I thank you for posting it.

[LooseWilly]

8. The elegant prose I've come to expect from you...

always a pleasure to read.

[Proud Liberal Dem]

9. Who exactly "on our side" are engaging in this so-called "Parlor Advocacy?"

What is the purpose of this thread? Just curious. :shrug:

[Prism]

10. Quite a few

But it's a generalized sentiment on my part. The short form of the above post would be "I'm a little weary of seeing people who claim to support equality constantly telling the LGBT community to be quiet."

The threads on DU to that effect are legion. They seem intrinsically inevitable in topics about the nature and motivation of criticisms of President Obama.

I just don't think anyone who truly believed in working towards equality and supported the LGBT community would spend so very much time out of their day bouncing around the internet telling us to sit down, wait, deal with it, that we aren't entitled to our thoughts and criticisms, that what we need to make our families whole and safe isn't a priority.

Yet it keeps happening.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

17. a lot of people who ask us to leave because we want equal rights and will criticize

everyone who opposes equality

[Proud Liberal Dem]

20. I don't know exactly how to respond to this thread

To me, it smacks somewhat of establishing a sort of "purity test" for whom are and whom aren't, I guess, "non-parlor advocates" or whom constitutes "true" advocates for GLBT rights. I don't believe that people here (or anywhere for that matter) should be asking anybody to STFU and/or leave and I certainly refuse to defend those whom do that.

However, I'm concerned that there seems to be a schism growing here (and maybe elsewhere, I'm not sure) between people whom essentially have the same overall goals (and not just those relating to GLBT rights) but differ in regards to strategy, timing, etc. and I'm not sure that throwing down the gauntlet and declaring who is and who is not a "real advocate" vs. a "parlor advocate" is helpful in terms of accomplishing the overall objective. I don't know if people whom generally oppose equality for GLBT individuals post here at DU or not. My guess is that there are probably NOT a lot of fundies and/or genuine anti-gay bigots here at DU (if any) who literally hate GLBT individuals and genuinely believe in keeping GLBT individuals oppressed but I have no problems condemning them for it.

Obviously, however, there seems to be a lot of differences represented here about political strategy for changing what needs to be changed and, more importantly, whether or not President Obama is doing enough or moving fast enough on GLBT concerns. Those are IMHO legitimate concerns for which forums such as DU exist and I would hope that we can all be respectful to each other when discussing such concerns. However, having a contrasting opinion about these issues does NOT mean IMHO that one does not really support GLBT rights and/or does not care about the well being of GLBT individuals. Heck, as avid a supporter of GLBT rights as I have been for many years, I myself might qualify as a so-called "Parlor Advocate" just because I don't agree with everything that gets posted here at DU on the issue.

I don't know exactly how or when it happened, but we all seem to be turning on each other a lot lately and it really worries me. I hope that we are all just going through a "Post-Bush/Cheney" transitional period and that everything will eventually settle down and we can all be friends again and be more respectful to each other here and focus our energies and attention on the real obstacles to change like the "No to everything" Repukes and the "Blue Dog" Dems.

[Prism]

22. No purity test

I genuinely dislike the meta arguments that tend to overwhelm the board at times, so I try not to engage in them if it can be helped. That said, in the wake of the DOMA brief, I saw expressed a lot of sentiment about ponies, impatience, that LGBT complaints are part and parcel of right-wing attacks (that specific thought is expressed in this very thread).

It's a dismissive, antipathetic posture towards LGBT concerns.

There has certainly been a lot of discussion about when it might be time for the LGBT community to hit the proverbial panic button. Personally, I was on the other side of the debate during McClurkin and Rick Warren. I disagreed with the reactions on DU. Full disclosure: I was an Obama supporter from very, very early in the primaries and defended him no minor amount. I'm now re-evaluating my own judgement and posts from that period. For me the DOMA brief and - more critically - the administration's tone deaf response to it was the moment where "let's see where this administration goes" changed to "Ok, this administration either doesn't know or doesn't care what it's doing in regards to LGBT rights, and this is not the direction it should be moving in." If this administration is to move how we would like it to move, it must be informed as early as possible that we will not accept a repeat of the Clinton model towards our community. This is precisely what we are now in the midst of doing.

I do think there is a schism, a predictable, inevitable one. Put somewhat clumsily, there are two kinds of people in any political party; those who worship power and those who are ever suspicious of it. The former will usually find expression in being just ducky with just about anything the President does. "Our guy is in there, and we must support him lest we give the other team an opening."

The LGBT community must be the latter if we're going to achieve our goals. We can't say, "Well, he's our man, let's wait and see," when that administration begins making tangible decisions and policies that are contrary to postive movement forward.

In the past, I've often flinched from the anger and outrage expressed by my LGBT brothers and sisters towards the administration. Call it dispositional. However, that anger and outrage, once it found a target and channel, is effecting change. The administration has noticed. Congress is noticing. The gay leadership establishment is heeding us instead of instructing us to go along to get along. We're now finally, finally getting some movement, some acknowledgement.

In history, no revolution or movement for greater freedom ever succeeded by relinquishing their greatest weapon - the refusal of deference. Some people want us to do that, to defer to this President, to trust him in the face of acts and policies that do us no good turn. That's an impossible request, and one no earnest supporter of equality would make. We can disagree about tactics, and I often do. However, what do we do when any tactic and criticism we take up, any banner we raise in the march forward, is dismissed and never found acceptable by too many of the president's most ardent supporters?

The President once said he would take his lead from us on how to pursue our rights. What are we to make of those who shoot us down at every turn, who criticize every tactic, when all we're trying to do is exactly what the President said he wanted us to do?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

24. we have been waiting since 1996 at the very least, this isnt a purity test

this is a test of whether or not, democrats want only our votes and our money or our input and equality

[muffin1]

11. Wonderful post!

Thank you!:bounce:

K&R:kick:

[Duncan Grant]

12. I enjoyed reading this. Bookmarking for future reference.

Thanks, Prism. Mind if I start using the term and then link 'em to this post?

k&r :kick: :thumbsup:

[Prism]

14. Be my guest

=)

[McCamy Taylor]

13. Point taken. However, when support for the president is immediately equated with gay bashing

this is a sign that right wing forces which seek to divide and conquer the American working class are winning. And, unfortunately, I have seen this happen at DU (although the mods forbid us to post any examples so you will have to look for them yourself).

[Prism]

15. It is nothing of the kind

It's a sign that President Obama has deeply hurt many people in the LGBT community with his actions to date, not the least of which was a brief that discredited and dismissed our most profound relationships.

Reactionism, the scourge of the right-wing, is designed in our country to maintain the status quo and keep those firmly ensconced with power safely on their thrones. Those who side with the powerful over the powerless are doing far more to promote and perpetuate that form of thinking than those who challenge the establishment and the powerful in the name of equality.

I am certain there are posters who have used hyperbole while having very understandable emotional reactions to an administration that delivered a proverbial slap in the face with that brief.

But that does not excuse nor diminish the efforts and acts of those who seek to mute, derail, or dismiss the concerns of a community that has been used and tread upon without thought for far, far too long.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. when your support for the president is couched in language that essentially asks people

without equal rights to shut up or leave, you deserve the label you are given

[QC]

18. Very true, and there have been plenty of STFU threads directed at LGBT DUers. n/t

[xchrom]

19. recommend

:applause: :applause: :applause:

[PVnRT]

21. K&R

:kick:

[Jennicut]

23. I fully support and like President Obama, but remain disappointed in his stance

on LGBT rights. I want him to have more courage on his stances on gay rights and they are lame at best. I am one of his biggest supporters here but you and many others here have changed my mind on the issue of equality for all. I want to thank you guys for opening my eyes. I used to be one of those "parlor advocates" but I just cannot be anymore. I have too many people I know that have been hurt by it. This issue now remains for me the one issue Obama just has fallen down on it for me. At least I live in a state that allows gay marriage (CT). Many polls here show that the majority of people support it.