A Collection of Theonion.com's Election Satires

[JPZenger]

Theonion.com has posted all of their election satires together in one place:

http://www.theonion.com/election2004/

My favorite is the following:

"Fed Up Cheney Enters the Presidential Race Himself

As President Bush's public-approval ratings hit an all-time low, Vice-President Dick Cheney announced Monday that he has been "forced" to throw his hat into the ring for the 2004 presidential race.

Do I have to do everything around here?" Cheney asked, pausing to gesture angrily around the White House. "I guess I do."

Cheney said that, while he would rather not run for president, Bush has left him little choice. "I was perfectly happy letting George take the spotlight," Cheney said. "If things didn't look so grim, I would've continued to direct the re-election campaign from the wings. But I could see that it was time to get out—now, before the first debate."

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1. I hope they have the one with

Rumsfeld hosting a bizarre "fight to the death" match tournament on a remote island. Totally in line with his personality, but also a rip on those cheesy 80s martial arts fighting movies.