BUSH ORDERS AIR STRIKES AGAINST CANADA

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

Declares ‘War on Avian Terror’

President Bush, citing intelligence reports linking al Qaeda to a vast Canadian ‘suicide bird’ training network, today ordered air strikes against 6-8 suspected aviaries and wildlife preserves in Canada as retaliation for the apparent suicide geese attack against U.S. Airways flight 1549 this afternoon. “I know nobody was killed, thank God,” the visibly angry lame-duck told a hastily convened White House press conference, “but that was due to the heroic efforts of the pilot and crew. It’s obvious that the intention of these foul fowl was to kill Americans. Besides, do you have any idea of the impact on rush hour traffic?”

The President also had a stern warning for Canada as well as any other countries that might harbor what he referred to as “extremist terror nests”: “Our actions will be swift, and they will be severe,” he emphasized, “and your birds and larger flying insects are either with us or they are against us. But let me be perfectly clear about one thing – and you can mark my words on this — we will exterminate them over there so we won’t have to exterminate them over here.”

The President then outlined intelligence reports indicating that in recent months, suspected al Qaeda operatives had approached both government officials and black market sources in Canada, Greenland, and several Central and South American countries “in an effort to procure large numbers of dangerous birds which they would use to bring American air traffic to a standstill.” He also added, “And I think anybody who’s seen that Hitchcock movie knows their long-term agenda is probably even more sinister.”

Rest of Story at: http://thedesperateblogger.wordpress.com/2009/01/15/bush-orders-air-strikes-against-canada/

[rurallib]

1. Sarah Palin can see Canadia from her house.

[DevonRex]

9. No, no. Canada is in her state. Get it RIGHT.

[ddeclue]

2. In a related note Bush has ordered suspicious water birds to be water boarded

:rofl:

[wryter2000]

3. Duzys for all of you

:applause:

[wryter2000]

4. Be fair

It's hard to set those webbed feet on fire.

[AtomicKitten]

5. Ha! South Park was right!

Blame Canada!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aQJI5J-VZg

[Liberalboy]

6. BWAHAHAHAHA

Our evil plan for world domination will not be foiled

[awoke_in_2003]

7. On the serious side...

that pilot did a very good job putting that plane in the water in one piece. That takes a bit of skill. Had a section broke off, it would have gone down faster- and would probably have meant some deaths.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

8. Absolutely,

and seeing you're a Steelers' fan, I hope you can appreciate... I emailed NYC Mayor Bloomberg this afternoon to say that if that pilot and flight crew (not to mention rescue workers) don't deserve a parade, then I don't know who does. And since we now know there won't be one for the Giants...

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

10. P.S., I wouldn't have done the piece

if anybody had died...

I'm cynical, not evil...

[awoke_in_2003]

11. Oh, I know...

just wanted to give props to that pilot.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

12. 2 things:

Please check my post in 'general discussion' and use the link to pressure Bloomberg for a parade... (trust me, we could use one), and

how long were you asleep before 2003?

and seriously, thanks for sticking up for the heroes who deserve it.

[awoke_in_2003]

13. The username...

reflects my realizing where I really was politically. I always thought I was socially liberal but fiscally conservative, and thought I was a republican (yeah, I voted for shrub in 2000- dumbass move). After the invasion of Iraq in 2003, I started questioning my affiliation. I found I really identified more as a democrat, and realized that "fiscally conservative" is just a code phrase for cutting out programs that help those who need them, and funneling the money to those who don't (like lockheed martin). I have pretty much become a flaming lib, not that that is a bad thing :)

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

14. I dunno...

I consider myself 'fiscally conservative'. To me, it's not about cutting programs or funding, but more about common sense. For example, I had a constructive argument (a.k.a. political discussion) last night with friends who see Obama cutting taxes as more of the same 'trickle-down' bullshit that got us into this mess. While I might prefer more spending on infrastructure, education, and health care as opposed to tax cuts, part of me says that tax cuts are o.k. if, and only if (since we're a consumer driven economy) we're putting money in the hands of people who will spend it as opposed to people who will hoard it. A middle class tax cut may not be the best move, but I can live with it -- cuts for the wealthiest are 'trickle-down', and as the old joke goes, the best part of that 'trickled down' its father's leg...