Obama Marriage Body Language: One Aspect We Should All Emulate

jefferson_dem

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Fri Nov-21-08 08:41 AM
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Obama Marriage Body Language: One Aspect We Should All Emulate

Edited on Fri Nov-21-08 08:44 AM by jefferson_dem

Obama Marriage Body Language: One Aspect We Should All Emulate

In an earlier post we commented on positive aspects of the relationship between Michelle and Barack Obama. Fresh from having watched their recent 60 Minutes interview, we'd like to bring to your attention one remarkable bit of body language we can all learn from. Specifically, if you watch their body language carefully, you'll see that Michelle and Barack communicate with each other in a way that is rare among presidential couples: when Michelle Obama is speaking, Barack makes eye contact with her and listens with interest to what she's saying.

If you want to see just how rare that is, look at old footage of interviews with Laura and George Bush, Bill and Hillary Clinton and the elder Bushes. Go back a little further and look at footage of Nancy and Ronald Reagan, Pat and Richard Nixon and any others you can find. Here's what you usually WON'T see: the President looking at his wife when she's speaking. You'll see lots of footage of presidential wives listening, usually with an adoring smile locked firmly in place, to their husbands, but it's rare to see it the other way around. When Michelle Obama is speaking, though, Barack looks at her and listens. When he's speaking, she looks and listens. It's a refreshing exception, and a key to the respect that flows between them.

When we first noticed this unusual bit of presidential body language, it brought back a memory of a moment that still gives us a chuckle. Some years ago we were doing a round of television talk shows at the time our book, Conscious Loving, was first published. Our publisher had arranged the tour so that we did the big national shows such as 'Oprah' first, followed by appearances on regional shows in various parts of the country. We were on a show in Portland, Oregon when the following event occurred.

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Here's a question that's come up in recent interviews we've give on the quality of the Obama marriage: Is it possible to fake the kind of affection and interest that Michelle and Barack seem to have in each other's communication? The question brings to mind Lawrence Olivier's famous remark about acting: "The main thing about acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made." With Michelle and Barack's relationship, their level of ease, affection and respect carries a deep sense of authenticity about it. After nearly 40 years of counseling couples, individuals, business executives and others, we've seen just about every form of concealment, subterfuge, defensiveness and guile there is to see. If you've been watching presidential couples for a few decades, you've also seen just about every form of concealment, subterfuge, defensiveness and guile there is to see. Maybe now we're embarking on something new and long overdue: a role model of a healthy relationship in the White House.

Michelle and Barack Obama are giving us all a much-needed lesson in how to thrive in a close relationship. It's very refreshing to see a couple at ease enough in public to give a fist-bump of pride, solidarity and delight to each other (never mind that Fox News called it a 'terrorist fist-jab'!) It's heartening to see two people so authentically affectionate with each other that they can hug in public and have it look natural.

It is a gift to all of us to see the future president and First Lady model a new kind of equality and respect through the way they listen to each other. We salute them for it, and look forward to learning more from this remarkable couple as they move forward into this new adventure in their lives.

More Pics at LINK --> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathlyn-and-gay-hendricks/obama-marriage-body-langu_b_144937.html