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We Americans - both Democrats and Republicans are fascinated with you. It is either because we think you are a blithering idiot, or the anointed one.
However, the media (except FNC) is fascinated with you for this simple reason. Stupid people are very entertaining. It is time for us to admit that we don't we care about your message. We really are just interested in the stupid/entertaining way that you present it.
Now to the advice:
You truly are gifted. It is very rare to find a politician, or for that matter any human being who has been given such a monumental amount of stupid. However, it is time to grow up and take seriously the responsibility that comes with such a gift. You are to stupid what Tiger Woods is to golf, or what Paris Hilton is to Skank. Tiger is an example of how to harness the gift, take some time off here and there, and make the most of what he has. Paris on the other hand is all skanked out and now nobody cares.
Remember that every time you open your mouth, it is like Paris doing a porno. One might say you are linguistically obscene. However, it is getting to where your interviews are not compelling because of too much stupid exposure. So do us all a favor and don't spend all of your stupid in one year. Please save some for when you go and campaign on behalf of Republicans in the mid-terms. We will need some entertainment then too, and the democrats will enjoy that Palin bump as they call it.
Maybe another good example for you would be Gilbert Godfried. Here is a guy who is not very funny but has managed to sort of have a career for 20+ years. If you heard him every day for a week, you would never listen to him again. Once every couple of years when he pops up, he is mildly amusing.
Lastly, my father has always enjoyed the quote "The average American is a complete idiot, and half are dumber". Lucky for you it is probably true and Stupid attracts stupid. e.g. Todd Palin/Sarah Palin Sean Hannity/Sean Hannity audience, Palin Rallies/Palin Rally attendees. This means that you too will always have an audience. You are currently relevant to mainstream media because your gift of stupid is attracting intelligent people as well. If you over-stupid us, you will lose us and be left with just your base, which is shrinking. Remember that eight of your base just got arrested for murder in Louisiana. Natural selection will erode your base further(look it up on Wikipedia). (On the internet, you know, where you read the New York Times)...
Best of luck.
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