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George, I called you into my office today to see if I want to re-hire you for four more years. You have been a good cheerleader for the company. However, George, as I look at your resume and history of the last four years, it seems you got off on the wrong foot.
First of all, when you sent your friends at Enron out on that submarine and they blew up out of the water and killed those Japanese students, that was really embarrassing for the company, but we over-looked it. Then you let the Chinese pull your string when they dismantled one of our spy planes and you had to grovel to the Russians to bring it back to our shore in pieces. That was not good, George. You did not exhibit the leadership qualities we thought you were capable of showing.
Then, in a case of very poor judgement, you chose to ignore the Israeli/Palestinian problem and let it work itself out. That was another major blunder, George, and does not reflect well on your resume. In fact, we think that decision alone has created more problems for our company than any other decision you have made.
Then matters seemed to deteriorate for you, George. It was obvious to the board of directors that you were in way over your head but we decided we had no choice but to let you finish your 4-year contract. We had no idea it would be so difficult.
And when you ignored all previous intel about Osama bin Laden because of your petty differences with the former president of the company and permitted them to attack our company with our own planes, it was more than many of us could stand. If we had not lost so many employees that day, we probably would have let you go at that time. Your reputation was irreparably impeached.
But now, this is the last straw George. Our company puts a lot of weight on character and honesty in our people. George, you have lied your butt off and we are disrepected around the world. Our reputation is shot. So, we are going to have to let you go, George. Good luck in any future endeavors...and please do not use our company as a reference.
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