Bwhahaha! So This Is Why Red-Staters Are So Angry

[babylonsister]

Coincidence?! :evilgrin:

http://blogs.tnr.com/tnr/blogs/the_plank/archive/2008/10/31/so-this-is-why-red-staters-are-so-angry.aspx

So This Is Why Red-Staters Are So Angry

A colleague (I won't reveal his name) was up late last night watching "Thelma and Louise" on Lifetime. During a commerical break, an ad for Trojan's Vibrating Touch fingertip massager for women came on. Naturally, my colleague's journalistic curiosity was piqued and he rushed to the website mentioned for more info. (Hey, in these final stressful days of the campaign, a man's gotta do what he's gotta do to stay distratcted.)

Reading the Vibrating Touch blog (this just gets better and better, doesn't it?) he noticed complaints from women living in Texas that they were unable to purchase the product. Probing further, he discovered that the sale of Vibrating Touch is prohibited in a number of states: Alabama, Colorado, Georgia, Kansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Texas, and Virginia. And apparently, the folks at Trojan have received their share of disappointed emails from frustrated women in these states, because, on the Vibrating Touch FAQ page, one can find this exchange:

Q. I can’t purchase the Trojan Her Pleasure Vibrating Touch fingertip massager in my state. Why?
A. We’re sorry, but some states prohibit the sale of products such as these.
These states are Alabama, Colorado, Georgia, Kansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Texas and Virginia.

Wow. How sad is that? In these stressful times, how cruel must a state be to refuse its female residents "products such as these"?

But, alas, it's true. As I promised my righteously outraged and perplexed colleague, I did a quick Google search on the matter and pulled up random episodes from the frontlines of sexual repression, including this strange tale of law enforcement run amok, in which a former fifth grade teacher and mother of three was busted in Texas for selling a vibrator to undercover cops posing as a "dysfunctional married couple in search of a sex aid."(Now there's a fine use of police resources.)

These are real laws, people--some of which have been tested and upheld in recent years, such as the Mississippi Supreme Court's 2004 decision not to overturn a state ban on the sale or distribution of “three-dimensional devices designed or marketed primarily for the stimulation of human genitalia.” As if life in Mississippi weren't hard enough. (And, yeah, I lived there for a time, so save your indignant hate mail.)

All I can say is, I know what I'm getting all my red-state friends and family for Christmas.

It seems blues really do have more fun.

--Michelle Cottle

[YDogg]

1. babylonsister, you always have the best links!

:-)

[Arugula Latte]

2. Oh, so the product gives a vibrating massage to your fingertips?

Well, I guess some people would like that...


:evilgrin:

[Parche]

3. I Heard Midlo Bought 1000 of those things!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :hi:

[cliffordu]

4. I'm going to order my wife one of these immediately.

She's stressed, ya know?

[ipfilter]

5. I'm shocked Oklahoma is not on the list.

We can't by anything but 3.2 beer in a grocery store but vibrating dildos are ok.

[plcdude]

26. me too

we must have messed up on that one.

[helderheid]

6. HUH! Utah isn't on the list!

:woohoo:

[Kitty Herder]

8. Blue Boutique, baby. nt

[Kitty Herder]

7. Some philanthropic person should air-drop tons of these things over the states where they're banned.

It would be a great service to many frustrated women.

[grace0418]

12. Or start a shipping/forwarding business in a neighboring state. "Make your purchase and

have it sent to us. For a small fee we will repackage it in a box that says "Bibles" and send it on to you."

[babylonsister]

16. LOL! That'd work! nt

[Sequoia]

9. The town I live in wants to close down a store who sells items such as these.

"The children...what about the children!!" The city council moans wringing their hands. "It's right there...near the mall...on the 4th Street. And they sell movies...those X rated kind. The horror...oh the horror."

So I went there there last week and bought something fun. You betcha!

[babylonsister]

11. You betcha!

:rofl:

[slampoet]

10. Clear Violation of the Pursuit of Happiness. What better example could you think of?

[Demobrat]

13. They hate us for our freedoms. n/t

nt

[whitewomenforobama]

14. Yeah, in Texas

you can keep a machine gun on your bedside table, but not a dildo. Glad we have our priorities straight.

:wtf:

[Erin Elizabeth]

21. Do you live in Texas?

Do you really think people have machine guns on their nightstands?

[whitewomenforobama]

33. I do live in Texas

and I don't think people do keep machine guns on their nightstands, but if they wanted to, no law would prevent or obstruct it. Not so with "marital aids."

[Rosa Luxemburg]

15. sounds almost as bad as Saudi Arabia?

[Erin Elizabeth]

18. ...

It's not NEARLY like Saudi Arabia. There's a stupid outdated law on the books in Texas that some municipalities decided to actually enforce recently and it grabbed the headlines. If you really want a vibrator or dildo here, you can get them MANY places, no problemo.

[Erin Elizabeth]

17. ...

We have vibrators here. It's not like they're contraband. And I've been to "toy parties" too.

[Enthusiast]

19. You rock, sister! nt

[Terran]

20. That explains *everything*.

Unhappy women, grumpy unsatisfied men, geez it's no wonder they're so uptight down there!

[Erin Elizabeth]

24. I'm sorry, but Texas is FAR too diverse of a place

to characterize like this.

This is bugging me. We HAVE vibrators and stuff like that. You CAN buy them here. The sex stores just have to call them "novelty items." That's the loophole in the law. I know MANY women who own them and live in Texas.

We're not all uptight, sexually frustrated Republicans. Many of us are quite normal! Come visit me in Dallas and see for yourself. You can check out my indoor plumbing while you're at it, we're quite proud of our new flush toilet.

[Terran]

29. No sweat my dear, I was talking about repubs only

not Democrats! I guess repubs are uptight no matter where one goes. :hi:

[babylonsister]

30. Don't let it bug you, EE.

I live in TX, too, and I have a few shops to get any kind of goodies I want within spitting distance practically. Maybe they're talking about places like Arlington (that's the only one I could think of that was 'dry' years ago, but you get my drift).

And congrats on that toilet!

:rofl:

[Erin Elizabeth]

31. Oh no, Arlington has toy shops AND a head shop.

And you can get wine or beer there, but you have to go to Ft. Worth or Dallas to get the hard stuff. (I like Big Daddy's or Apple Jack.)

[whitewomenforobama]

34. I understand your point

and yeah, it is possible to get that sort of thing, but even here in Austin, the most liberal part of Texas, you still can't walk into a Planet K and ask for most things by name, you have to call them something coy like a "personal massager." Right here in Austin, I had a good friend get arrested in the mid 90s for selling an inflatable sheep to an undercover cop, he was just a poor clerk making 8 bucks an hour selling "novelty items," but it went on his record, and he had a hell of a time trying to get a teaching job later in life.

[grace0418]

35. Given the context of this thread, your invitation to check out your

indoor plumbing had me confused for a minute there. :blush: ;)

Sorry, carry on.

[GirlieQ]

22. Colorado? I could have sworn that they're legal in CO.

I can't look something like this up at work, but I haven't had any problem having toys shipped to CO.

[beachmom]

23. Oh, bloody hell. I LIVE in Georgia. nt

[Orsino]

25. Well, here's wishing all DUers a happy ending Tuesday night!

:thumbsup:

[Bucky]

27. Alabama's "staying red," but at least we're turning Colorado "blue"

Virginia is for lovers, not self-lovers.

[WillyT]

28. Ok... Time To Make A Fortune !!! - Calling SwampRat !!!

We need an advert for a Joe The Plumber Vibrator!!!

Maybe something along these lines???



:shrug:

Lets help our southern sisters out!

:evilgrin:

:rofl:

[Fire_brand]

32. CO and VA will be blue states on 11/4 n/t