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This was on something called Fafblog, signed Fafnir aka Giblets.
I have NO idea who this person is, but I'd like to invite him/her to tea.
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Barack Obama: Black?
So ever since this election switched from practical bread-and-butter issues
like how much Democrats are going to tax Jesus to fund their gay-married
abortion babies to fluff like "the economy" and "the recession" and "the
apocalyptic collapse of global capitalism" it looks like everybody's
gonna vote for Barack Obama. Well good for you, see if Giblets cares, Giblets
doesn't care about the stupid ol' presidency anyway. But before you go
and throw your vote away just ask yourself: who is Barack Obama? "Oh well
Giblets, Barack Obama is the junior senator from Illinois who is running
for president on some moderate health care and tax reform plans and a foreign
policy which is actually very similar to John McCain's," you say because
you are irritating and stupid and I hate you. Yes yes but who is Barack
Obama, really? "Well he was born in Hawaii to Ann Dunham and Barack Obama, Sr.
and spent part of his childhood in Indonesia and was a community organizer
and a law professor before running for the Illinois state senate." Okay okay
but who is Barack Obama, really, while I am playing scary music and flashing
this terrifyingly desaturated image of Barack Obama in a turban across
your television screen? "Oh my god I have no idea, who is this mysteriously
radical mystery radical!" Giblets is glad you asked!
FACT! Barack Obama and sixties radical Bill Ayers were both associated
with the Chicago Annenberg Challenge, a radical education foundation whose
radical goal is to radically educate black children by educating them...
while they are still black.
FACT! Barack Obama spent twenty years in the same church as radically
black pastor Jeremiah Wright, who has been known to make such incendiary claims
as "white people enslaved black people" and "white people killed Native
Americans." Is Barack Obama part of the international black conspiracy to
trick white people into thinking about racism? Answer: maybe.
FACT! Barack Obama has been friends with Rashid Khalidi, an openly Arab
Arab who is so Arab he writes about other Arabs. Is Barack Obama part of the
international Arab conspiracy to trick white people into thinking about
Arabs? Answer: also maybe.
FACT! Barack Obama talks about his white mother and his white
grandparents and the white half of his family that is white, but did you know that
half of his family is also black? In fact, half his family is so black that
Obama keeps them hidden away on a whole other continent where they speak in a
strange, otherworldly code which is not even English. What is Obama
trying to hide? Possibly something black. BONUS FACT! Barack Obama may be
half-white and half-black, but he married a woman who is completely
black. In a way, doesn't that make him three-quarters black? Math doesn't lie,
people!
FACT! "Obama" is an ancient Muslim name meaning "He Who Deceives the
White Man with his Telegenic Charisma, Angular Good Looks, and Deceptively
Conservative Policy Proposals." Coincidence? Or co-bama?
FACT! The previous fact was made up. But doesn't the fact that it was so
easily made up prove that a kernel of truth must exist within the lie,
and doesn't the existence of that kernel of truth prove that the lie is, in
fact, true? Think about it! But not very hard!
FACT! Barack Obama was a community organizer. ACORN is made of community
organizers. Acorns come from oak trees. Oak trees belong to the genus
Quercus, which includes Quercus faginea, the Portuguese oak. The prime
minister of Portugal is José Sócrates, whose last name looks like
Socrates, who lived in Athens, which is also a city in Georgia, whose state fruit
is the peach, which is native to China, which is exactly what Osama bin
Laden was eating off of while he was plotting to destroy the Twin Towers. It's
all connected, people - they just don't want you to know! And they could be
black.
Labels: fuck you '08, what will become of whitey?
posted by Giblets at 12:09 PM
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