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Edited on Tue Oct-14-08 10:26 PM by MN Against Bush
Dear Sarah,
So I hear that you are pro-life. Sure you may speak at rallies in which the crowd shouts out “Kill 'em”, but at least you care about the life of a stem cell. We are Republicans, and we know that the only life that matters is that which is not born yet. Once the child is born then they always want health care, clean air to breathe, and to be able to stay home with their families when they should be getting blown up in Iraq. But us Republicans know that children don't need any assistance once they are born, once a child starts asking for health care they become socialists and we can't allow socialism to take over. We only support socialized medicine for the people who get their limbs blown off protecting our oil in Iraq, but even then we have to make sure they don't like socialism too much so we treat them in the cockroach infested halls of Walter Reed Medical Center. That is the pro-life position.
As pro-life Republicans we must also thank you for your support of the death penalty. Nothing says pro-life like pumping a person full of poison and watching them die. Sure some innocent people might be killed when the justice system fails, but at least other criminals will get the message that if they are too lazy to get a job that will buy them a good lawyer we will kill them too.
As pro-lifers we realize however that sometimes we have to let the criminals go because it would be just too expensive to chase down the rapists if women are not able to pay for the rape kits that are needed to collect forensic evidence. You know the pro-life way to handle rape victims Sarah, make them pay for their own damn rape kit and if they get pregnant during the rape force them to carry the baby to term. As long as we don't provide them with health insurance to pay the medical bills for that pregnancy, we can be sure that all of us pro-life taxpayers can rest easy knowing that we don't have to sacrifice anything for the morals we are forcing on others.
Sarah, as Republicans we are so glad that you are pro-life that we want to invite you to a pro-life party where we dance to “bomb bomb bomb Iran” and cheer as we watch the videos of the bombs dropping on Iraq. At this party we will serve a pro-life dinner where we will eat wolves that were shot down from an airplane, and we will also serve grilled polar bear to celebrate your principled opposition to putting them on the threatened species list.
At our pro-life party we will be able to brag all night about the stem cells we saved, and we don't even need to think of all the people who are dying from the diseases that stem cell research could lead to treatments for. Sure those stem cells that we saved may end up in a dumpster, but at least they will be able to live out their lives in a landfill somewhere. If we can save a few stem cells then we shouldn't have to worry about all those Iraqis that we killed off, and we can still call ourselves pro-life.
And let's not forget to invite the oil company CEOs to our pro-life party Sarah. As you say drill baby drill. Who cares about global warming, just because it will result in natural disasters that will kill untold numbers of people and cause the extinction of several species of creatures does not mean us pro-lifers should actually worry about it.
Thank you Sarah, thank you for supporting a pro-life agenda no matter how much death that agenda brings. If it weren't for the family values types like you being able to convince us that you can support the bombing of innocent civilians, support the death penalty, support an energy policy which speeds up global warming, and deny people health care and still pretend that you are pro-life. Now that we can all pretend that we are moral, LET'S PARTY!
Sincerely,
A Citizen
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