Surrender Obama! (Signed) The Wicked Witch of the West. Palin baby born at good hospital!

[breadandwine]

I've just received a cryptic email from Stella, a mysterious right winger from Texas. (She sends me emails sometimes.) Have a read:

Aw right all youz commies! It's time fer a Lessin Fer Libruls from Stella here and you got it comin'! Listen you motor mouth, armadillo chompin,' hammer toed, smash mouth, crumple puss, fuster brain libruls! Palin gave a GREAT convention speech and she's gonna BEWITCH YOU. Listen busters --- and bustresses --- IF you don't MIND my puttin' it that way. Course, ya gotta give eeeeekwality ta the females. Well, guess what? In Alaska there's seven men ta every woman, specially in them outlying tundra regions. And Palin makes eight!

Now I am sick AND TIRED of all youz libruls bellyachin' about Palin givin' a speech and then flyin' fer eight straight hours all that way from Dallas ta Seattle ta Alaska ta have her baby even though her water broke and she went inta labor in Texas, which is a very rich state with some good hospitals. You're just beatin' a dead horse on THAT one, man an' boy! And Palin knows how ta SHOOT horses, you lilly liver! She kin shoot moose, caribou. She's fer shootin' wolves from airplanes with shotguns. Consider the poor, helpless, terrified critter dyin' a slow, agonizin' death, specially if it only got stray buckshot bein' that it's hard ta aim good from a movin' vehicle, so yuz gotta keep flyin' over an' shootin' again and again. Now, you COULD just use an ordinary rifle on the ground. Wolves are intelligent, cunning hunters. There's respect for the adversary an' all that when you kill the old fashioned way. But why have a challenge when you can BLAST that sucker with the ultimate in modern technology? Airplanes, radar, ultrasound, GPS, gattling guns, bazookas, hummers, how about tryin' gamma ray bombardment! It takes a REAL MAN ta kill with overwhelming force and relentless bloodthirsty cruelty. Maybe YOU haven't got the GUTS. But Palin does! Just like she said RIGHT OFF in that thar convention speech --- the only difference between a hockey mom an' a pit bull is lipstick! You tell it, Palin! So the next time somethin' comes ta gitcha, if it's got lipstick, you know it's Palin!

And I am just CRACKIN' UP over how youz lily livers is ginna be deer in headlights come November! Then we'll round yuz up. FEMA's got 500 concentration camps with gas ovens. Now what they got ta do THAT fer? That's too slow an' old fashioned! What you think they invented MICROWAVE ovens fer? Don't fergit. Palin tried ta ban books in the Wasilla public library and yer next.

But back ta Palin's baby. Palin did NOT endanger her baby with the speech and long travel and delays in gettin' to a hospital! There is nothin' wrong with Palin having her baby in Alaska. Take Providence Alaska Medical Center hospital in Anchorage. Now, Anchorage is the largest city in the state, with 40% of the state's residents. And Providence Alaska Medical Center is the best equipped hospital in the state and the largest, with 341 beds! It has a maternity center with the state's only Level 111 Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and the state's largest Emergency Department with Lifeguard air ambulance transport.

See all that here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Providence_Alaska_Medical_Center

The hospital provides full-service, comprehensive care unmatched by any other hospital in the state.

See here:

http://www.providence.org/alaska/pamc/default.htm

Now here's the lowdown on the hospital's Maternity Center. It delivers three times more babies annually than any other hospital in the state and has a proven reputation for high levels of care from experienced and specialized nurses, midwives, and physicians using the most advanced facilities available including a Newborn Intensive Care Unit that is the only one of its kind in Alaska. The Maternity Center is well equipped to handle medical risks that can surface during labor or delivery. Neonatologists (doctors who work with early or sick babies) are on site 24 hours a day. More professionals are available at Providence Alaska Medical Center in Anchorage than at any other hospital in Alaska.

See all that here:

http://www.providence.org/alaska/tchap/maternity/default.htm

So when Sarah Palin landed in Anchorage, what with the baby havin' Down Syndrome and bein' a month premature an' all and Palin leakin' amniotic fluid that evening since 4 AM that morning which can cause an infection, she had right there the best medical care and they could have whisked her right from the airport to the hospital by air ambulance transport, especially her bein' the governor of the state!

Which is WHY when Palin's plane landed in Anchorage she then instead drove 45 minutes and 36 miles out of Anchorage, north to the Mat-Su Regional Medical Center just outside of Wasilla, Wasilla bein' located smack dab in the Chugach Mountains ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now dontchoo Wisenheimers gimme any o' that "if ya ever need boiled water during delivery in the middle of the Chugach Mountains ya can always go out behind yer log cabin and chop firewood" nonsense! It was nothing LIKE that, busters! Mat-Su Regional Medical Center is a very good hospital with a great reputation! Mat-Su Regional Medical Center has a long reputation as it was built in 2006! It's a GENERAL hospital and it has all of 74 (seventy-four) beds and FIVE operating rooms! It would have had even more, buddy, but the third floor is still unfinished! So shut up!!!

See all that here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mat-Su_Regional_Medical_Center

And they are still working on development of a cardiac service line including cardiac catheterization services, construction of a medical office building at the hospital so they'll be real organized, and ongoing physician recruitment. So if they don't have all the right doctors they need, and aren't as organized as they should be, they sure will be soon enough, buster!

See all that here:

http://www.matsuregional.com/getpage.php?name=history&sub=About%20Us

Now, I'm gonna show YOU a picture of the Chugach Mountains and you tell ME if that isn't the greatest place in the WORLD ta have yer baby!

Here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chugach_Mountains


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:2005_04_26_1409_Chugach_Panorama.jpg






Wouldn't you just LOVE ta have yer baby in the middle o' THAT? Hey buddy, scenic beauty is good fer the digestion!

So shutcher face about Palin's baby! Palin's life is none o' yer business, it's none o' the media's business and it's all VERY PERSONAL AND PRIVATE. I say VERY PERSONAL AND PRIVATE! Ya hear me? VERY PERSONAL AND PRIVATE! I say, I say, I say, I SAID, VERY PERSONAL AND PRIVATE!

So SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Signed)

Stella from Texas

[tblue]

1. They have drugs for that.

[yourguide]

18. If they had drugs for THAT the polls wouldnt be so close.

[breadandwine]

22. A note to people who are too lazy to finish reading posts and links:

The fact is that the Palin baby was born in Mat-Su Regional Medical Center, as widely reported. Aside from the OBVIOUS humor in my opening post, every factual statement about Palin's choice of a hospital in my post is accurate and sourced in the post. THAT is the information people need to look at.

Ask yourself this question: If you were the governor of the state of Alaska would YOU bypass an Anchorage hospital that is the best hospital in the state, which even has air ambulance transport to get you there fast from the airport in the same city where your plane landed, and instead incur yet a further delay and drive north 36 miles into the mountains to have your baby at Mat-Su Regional Medical Center, in the middle of f*cking nowhere (and yes, according to reports they drove, did not FLY from Anchorage to Mat-Su outside Wasilla), Mat-Su being a hospital which was only built in 2006 and still has an unfinished third floor? And all this on top of an 8 hour flight when well-financed healthcare in a big rich state was available in Texas where you started your journey AFTER your water broke?

Would you do this to YOUR baby? And if so, would you be qualified to run the country, making decisions about OTHER people's healthcare and healthcare choices and so many other things?

But IGNORE all this critical information about Alaska hospitals. After all. I must be a Freeper…… No indeed, everything about Palin's life is very personal and private, none of our business and we're not aloud to probe….

[Gold Metal Flake]

25. I'm gettin' a foggy notion.

Perhaps her daughter had complications and sprung that youngin' all th' sudden like. Soze Guvnah Jesus-tits had to fly back and put on th' big put-on. It was all hush-hush, natch.

[me b zola]

27. Bypass?

Palin was in Texas and bypassed probably 100 better hospitals in order to get her dumb ass to podunk Alaska--with her water freaking leaking/broke.

Doesn't your mother make you shut off your computer after 8pm at night? Geez.

[tblue]

35. Excuse me. I was referring to the writer of the post you snipped, not the Palin baby.

Geez. Chill out.

[WeDidIt]

2. IBTL

I hope you enjoy taking craps on Democratic Forums.

[rwheeler31]

3. Stella choose another beverage.

[Chan790]

4. That was clearly written by a liberal to mock conservatives...

there's hope for Stella yet.

[Barack_America]

11. Yes. It was very obvious to me as well.

Her intent her was to call Palin's actions into question, not defend them.

[Midlodemocrat]

12. I thought it was pretty obvious that it was satire.

:shrug:

[Chan790]

14. Well yeah...

but a lot of other people didn't seem to get it...so I had to say it.

[Left Is Write]

21. I agree.

[breadandwine]

26. Thanks, Chan790.

Though my opening post was not ENTIRELY mockery. All the information I included about Alaska hospitals was accurate and sourced. See my post 22 near the top of the thread.

[Parker CA]

5. WTF was that?

[Kittycat]

6. Crack Kills

[DinahMoeHum]

7. This wasn't out of Betty Bowers' site, was it??

smells like snark to me.

:evilgrin:

[LibertyLover]

8. How sad that person is off her meds

and is more than willing to prove it by writing such awful prose.

[Midlodemocrat]

9. Looks like satire to me.

:shrug:

[pnwmom]

16. It's a joke. You may be off your sense of humor. n/t

[breadandwine]

23. Thank you, pnwmom.

Though my post was not ENTIRELY humor. All the information I included about Alaska hospitals was accurate and sourced. See my post 22 near the top of the thread.

[Zombie2]

10. Ugh...

I couldn't make it past the third sentence. :hangover:

[Chan790]

15. It's too bad...

as you get farther down, it becomes obvious that it's satire of Palin, AK, and the absurdity of the choices she made qua Trig's birth.

I particularly liked the part of about it being a very good hospital...it has 74 beds and 5 ORs, but most importantly it has pretty mountains.

[Zombie2]

19. iGHT

:dilemma:

I'll give it another go sometime when I'm not quite as tired... my brain hurts right now.

Thanks for the heads up, I didn't realize it was satire.

[Bobbie Jo]

13. We need a translator here. Can anyone interpret Freeperese?

Mine is a little rusty. :shrug:

The writer appears fluent by the looks of the pronoun usage. My guess, she's a native.

[pnwmom]

17. Translation: this is a joke. Writer is making fun of freeper talk. n/t

[Bobbie Jo]

20. LOL... actually I caught that.

and added my own. >>>>> "joke."

[breadandwine]

24. Thanks again, pnwmom.

Though my post was not ENTIRELY humor. Again, all the information I included about Alaska hospitals was accurate and sourced. For those still confused, see my post 22 near the top of the thread.

[stillcool]

28. with all the stories that have...

come out in the last week, this one still remains the most absurd. It boggles the mind, and defies logic but so much of the Right Wing bullshit..especially comments plastered all over the net are the same. What a whacked out country.

[breadandwine]

29. Stillcool47, read post 22.

Please?

[stillcool]

32. I don't understand..

obviously you see the absurdity of the story, or else you wouldn't have written the piece...No?

[breadandwine]

33. Stillcool47, I'm trying to understand you too.

While making my opening post enjoyable, the main point was to convey important sourced information I dug up myself about hospitals in Alaska, information that impacts the hospital choice Palin made, information that is still being overlooked by the netroots.

But I'm not "Stella." I'm Breadandwine. As my opening post said, "Stella" is "a mysterious right winger from Texas" who emails me sometimes.

Do you really think "Stella from Texas" is a real person?



Again, see post 22.

[stillcool]

34. No. But I think ..

Palin's story is absurd and defies logic.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

30. Stella, it seems that some folks are a little slow on the uptake here.

But I salute you for well-executed snark. :thumbsup:

[Liberal Dose]

31. With so many people not reading the post before typing a hostile reply, and others appointing

themselves as "Post Patrol" it is so much easier to figure out who to put on ignore.

We all know which party requires a mandatory lobotomy and humorectomy immediately upon joining, and these people are outing themselves quite a bit lately.

[Egnever]

36. unreadable

not sure if it was sarcasm or a true attempt to be insulting.