how do you counteract racism?

[blondie58]

As I type this, I am very sad. One of my best friends, who was born in Colorado but raised in Mississippi told another friend that she is voting for McCain.

In the primary season, she was going to be a delegate for Hillary, and I was for Obama. Her first comment to me about him was "I'm not voting for him. He's a Muslim."
In My heart, I know that it is just because she is a racist. She doesn't believe that the MLK Day should be a holiday. As a fellow union member of NALC,she is hurting her own interests. She has three boys, all of military age.

How are we going to convince people like my friend to see the light? I am afraid that are many more of the same mindset in America here, especially in the South. I am going to do some phone banking for Obama on Monday. Hopefully, many of you in the South will be doing that, too and changing peoples minds.

[jakem]

1. Counteract by not letting it go on without response.

[blondie58]

2. yeah, that's good. I am a big wuss, though and avoid

confrontation.

[FrenchieCat]

3. She must have an inferiority complex......

most racists do.....

or they buy into the stereotypes, which mean they are not that bright.

[blondie58]

9. maybe so, I don't know but I think that it is her upbringing

I went home with her once and it was another world. It was shocking hearing her mother say things like "thats might white of you" and such. ???? Thanks for your input, FrenchieCat

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

4. Ask her straight up:

"You know damn well he's not a Muslim. Is the real reason that you have a problem voting for a black man? If so, why?"

Then watch the fake outrage. But maybe direct confrontation is the only thing that can shake her up. Or maybe it will just piss her off. But it shouldn't be ignored, IMO.

[blondie58]

10. yeah, that would start something!

and you're right it shouldn't be ignored. What worries me is, how many more in the South who were raised with that attitude will feel the same way?

[AlCzervik]

5. good luck, i had a confrontation with my sister over some her comments and it did not

end well, it started out with Obama but it quickly ramped up into something i didn't even see coming. Anyhow i repeated my sister's statements back to her, you know that old check for understanding? So after i did that she told me i was exaggerating what she and making her come off as a racist. I do the check for understanding thing one more time and she nod's and then tells me she didn't mean to sound that way but she stands behind her comments and "She's sorry that you see it that way".

Ok so here i am 6 weeks later and i'm torn between pissed and just sad and i've given up on her for now.

[blondie58]

11. that is sad, chimpsrsmarter

it is unbelievable. Odd that two in the same family raised by the same parents would have a different outlook. Good luck.

[AlCzervik]

12. thanks and you're right, it is sad and she's my only sibling so it's not like i have a spare.

And of course there is nothing i can do to change what she thinks and i really don't want my daughter around her, my daughter did hear a few things she said btw and was unhappy. The funny thing, my sister i grew up in blue massachusetts and neither of my parents were ever racist.

[bliss_eternal]

6. Can't..

Sorry to be blunt, and I don't mean to harsh your mellow.
I could tell you that you can address it, attempt to educate the person, etc. But sadly that kind of ignorance is so deeply ensconced there's little you could do to that would change this person's mind. Leave them in their illusion of safety, that voting for the "white guy" is somehow better than "voting for the darkie."

Don't believe me? Think there's anything you could say that would somehow change this person's mind?
I could point you to some lovely posts right here on DU of alleged progressives that still don't "get it" (i.e. bigotry, racism, sexism, homophobia, etc.) and no amount of talking, explaining or discussion "helped them see the light" so to speak. Usually just made them deny the truth more, and dig their heels in deeper.

But it's good of you to care, and to ask.

[blondie58]

13. harsh my mellow? I love that!!

and what you say is probably true. The culture in the Confederate South is deeply ingrained- and they are very proud of it.

James Michener:
An age is called Dark, not because the light fails to shine, but because people refuse to see it.


Thanks for your eloquent and wise comments.

[bliss_eternal]

25. Haha...

...can't take credit for harshing your mellow--but glad you enjoyed it. :hi::hug:

You're right about southerners (not ALL for any that are reading this :eyes:...but a lot). I got into an argument here late one night w/a southerner that defended the word n*****, as just a word, nothing to be ashamed of, blah, blah...people give it too much power, blah, blah. Even trotted out their obligatory "black friend" to tell me how "ok" the word is.

Um, ok southern psychotic---chill the fuck out and climb down off your soapbox and keep right on thinking it's just a word when people were lynched in the name of that word in your region. Try to subvert the memory of "negroes" that marched, fought and layed down their lives so that the generations that followed could be called something other than that word.

So, I had to learn the lesson I just shared with you the hard way. lol.
Thank you for the wonderful quote.

[elocs]

7. I don't know how sincere his change was, but if George Wallace could change, then any racist can.

I think that for a racist to see the light is a process that culminates with a personal epiphany, an "aha" moment. Racists are not born, they are created from an early age by their parents, family, and friends. I think the best way to begin to reach racists that are acquaintances is to be an example, to stand up for what you believe, but not to get in their face over it because it would be counterproductive. I have no absolute answers, but I do know that people who once were racists can change, but I would be surprised if it were done before November.

[blondie58]

15. now that is optimistic!

Yeah, that is all good advice that I'll try to follow. Thanks!

[elocs]

24. I happened to also think about how a soft answer turns away wrath.

Remember how Obama responded to the heckler over the pledge--I consider a great example. It is best not to put somebody's back to the wall over racism if they are an acquaintance or family member because they will battle you to the death. You cannot debate somebody out of being a racist. But if you plant little seeds of acceptance, then it is possible they may germinate and come to fruition in their own time.

[BumRushDaShow]

8. Tell them if they can't vote for Obama, then vote for Biden and

from the Dem perspective, that will give us the same result - a win.

[blondie58]

16. hmmm, that sounds good

maybe reminding her of her three sons of military age... if there were a draft.... Thanks

[graywarrior]

14. I inform people they are talking like a racist

I will not hold back on that.

[blondie58]

18. yeah, maybe they need to hear it- thanks

[graywarrior]

21. They need to bear the responsibility of being ignorant

[stillcool]

17. All you can do is plant the seed...

give them something to think on. Information is contagious.

[blondie58]

20. yep- sounds good

I knew that you all would have some good suggestions. I have learned so much from this board. Thank you!

[BlooInBloo]

19. (1) Wait for racist folks to die, (2) Stop making new ones.

[blondie58]

23. lol

[L0oniX]

22. Expose or call them out in public and refuse to do business with them.

[blondie58]

26. yeah- the end of a friendship or relationship

I think I prefer the gentle approach- its my Libran nature. Thanks though!

[L0oniX]

27. Oh if only the Germans were to have called out the Nazi party members before they took over.

Sometimes it take guts and a willingness to put it on the line for the moral high ground. I am sure the Germans also didn't want to rock the boat with friends and relatives. I myself have been disowned by my own mother for my beliefs. She was good friends with Nancy and Ronald Reagan and walked with them down the street in a parade the day before his inauguration. It is quite possible that I will never communicate with her ever again and that's too bad for her. See ...the other side is also willing to take a stand and lose friends and relatives too.