** Palin limerick or haiku thread **

[Arugula Latte]

It's time for some bad poetry, DUers!


McCain knew his campaign was flailin'
And voters were thinking of bailin'
He pulled out of his ass
A Hail Mary pass
And desperately pointed at Palin


Anyone else? Please? :)

[gauguin57]

1. Neophyte guv

Veep: A neophyte guv from Alaska?
Where’s her resume? Why don’t we ask ‘er?
She’s a mom of five … maybe
(we’re not sure that’s her baby).
Will more vetting serve to unmask ‘er?

[Arugula Latte]

2. Good one!!

:thumbsup:

[gauguin57]

3. As John McCain ages before us ...

As John McCain ages before us
He says his young mate will be FOR US.
And when he starts ailin’
He can yield to Ms. Palin
Though her resume seems a bit porous.

[LongDistanceRunner]

26. and she's purported to puff on Matanaska!

[gauguin57]

4. Aw shucks

Gov. Palin (aw shucks) is a talker.
She’s “Tina Fey meets Karen Walker.”
Her PTA fame
Caught the eye of McCain.
At this train wreck, I confess, I'm a gawker!

[Arugula Latte]

5. "Tina Fey meets Karen Walker"

:spray:

You have a knack for this!

[jazzjunkysue]

23. Me, too!!!

:rofl:

[LeftishBrit]

6. Good one!

Mine:

Advisors said "Put a female on
Your ticket" and so he chose Palin.
All the people said "WHO?"
She said, "What do veeps *do*?"
It was just one more proof that he's failin'!


A great wild-life killer called Palin
Against gays and abortion loved railing.
"She's my Veep", John did utter-
Well, he got her at Nutter,
And it's just like when Bush put Dan Quayle in!

[gauguin57]

7. LOL! excellent!

And her candidacy is only 24 hours old ... we'll have PLENTY more limerick material in the coming few weeks!

[NRaleighLiberal]

8. Here are a few - "Surprise" and "Beauty Queen"

McCain threw a surprise and picked Palin
Cause Rove thought their campaign was Failin'
But they are all such fools
Just political tools -
I think their voters'll be bailin'

A beauty contest drop out for VP
Makes me laugh and slap at my knee
She's got nothing good
If anything should
Happen to Gramps we'll be at sea

oh well!

[BeyondGeography]

9. There once was a gal from Alaska

whose tits were as big as Nebraska
And when Old Man John
saw Dem divisions were gone
He picked up the phone and he asked her

[flamingdem]

11. yeah! nt

[BeatleBoot]

17. Funny!!!!

:rofl:

She's got some Nebraskans, there!

[jazzjunkysue]

24. lol!!!!

[flamingdem]

10. Ok. How about a funny one with diapers, drooling, half baked Alaska, fish, cheerleading, big oil nt

[Arugula Latte]

15. Okay...Diapers. Check. --

Crotchety, cranky, and gripey
Gramps McCain donned his adult dipey
"Palin lacks cred
But I'm nearly dead
And I need that hottie to wipe me!"

[flamingdem]

27. OMG - that's great and deserves its own post! nt

[madmax]

31. Bravo lol! n/t

[1Hippiechick]

39. ROFL

:rofl:

[BeatleBoot]

12. The Essence of Lame (this limerick that is)

There once was a gal from Wasilla
Who would partake all day in tequila
While she preferred the Popov
She lazily watched as Gustav
Tore apart the city of New Orleans'a

[NRaleighLiberal]

13. And a few Haikus....

Sarah Palin? Who?
A choice out of McCain's butt
Too bad it won't work


A heart beat away
We have Joe Biden - Yippee
They have Sara Who????

[ncabot22]

14. Caribou Barbie

Caribou Barbie
Folly of old gramps McC
Dems will win, oh yes.


Okay, not the greatest haiku, but I tried.

[progressivebydesign]

16. Limerick for you..

There once was a guy named John
Whose campaign was a disastrous yawn.
Til he decided on whim
to dump that guy Tim
and chose barbie, a talentless pawn.

[jazzjunkysue]

25. "talentless pawn!!!" Yesss!!!

[flamingdem]

30. bingo! nt

[ncabot22]

18. Another haiku

Caribou Barbie
Sheer novice in politics
Go back to tundra!

[Coexist]

19. ....

there once was a girl named Sear-uh
whose nasally voice could just scear yuh.
Second place in Alaska,
PTAer from Nehbreaska?
John McCain just can't wait to get near yuh!

[Born_A_Truman]

20. How about a song?

McCain as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly
Just a little change
Small to say the least
Pubs a little scared
Neither one prepared
Barbie and the Beast

More of just the same
Not even a surprise
Ever as before
Ever just as sure
As the sun will rise

McCain as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong
Certain as the sun
Rising in the east
McCain as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Barbie and the Beast

McCain as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Barbie and the Beast

[Motown_Johnny]

21. I Love this kind of crap (my attempt is here)

A candidate named John McCain
who is known to be not fully sane
picked a beauty queen
with the brains of a teen
his support will now surely wain

[Motown_Johnny]

28. Gonna give it another try, just to kick the thread

So Gramps' campaign was a failin'
and he picked a VP, name of Palin
his long shot hope
makes him look like a dope
his sinking ship needs much more bailin'

[Gregorian]

34. Yays.

These ARE fun.

[jazzjunkysue]

22. Palin Haiku:

arteries all clogged,
party disillusioned, jailed,
the ogre slobbers

[flamingdem]

29. Recommend highly, everyone will get a kick out of these!! nt

[HCE SuiGeneris]

32. OK

A politico dressed all up in fur
Was recruited to lay down with curs
She chose the role
Shunning all birth control
And espouses you do the same as her

[Gregorian]

33. Titled- Planet earth is only 6000 years old. (This literally just flew right out of my ass)

Miss Wasilla, ready or not
On-the-job training for a vp slot
She is a she which is why she got the spot
If McCain wins, pregnant women better not
Too young to vote; too young to fight.
Fertilized eggs got just as much right.

[Arugula Latte]

61. Your ass is a good poet!

I like the a-a, b-b, c-c rhyming scheme, too. Anyone know what that type of poem is called? (I'm too lazy to look it up.)

[tinrobot]

35. Cindy did not think it so hot....

It was a much reported unveiling
When McCain picked young Sarah Palin
But Cindy did not
Think it so hot
So she gave John a backstage assailing.

[Zomby Woof]

36. Paleo-in

There once was a freak from Wisalla
Whose brain was so very damn smalla
McCain is a fool
And Palin's a tool
Who'll get us MORE VOTES FOR OBAMA!

[johnaries]

37. Palin-drone.

Of course, you have to pronounce it wrong.

How about Palin comparison.

[chiefofclarinet]

38. VP comparsion

Barack Obama picked Joe Biden,
Which made Republicans go a-hidin'.
McLame then picked Palin,
Which is obviously failin',
And the Dems' lead is a-widenin'!

[chiefofclarinet]

40. Palin's resume

Palin's resume is quite bleak.
Alaska's governor is so weak.
Mayor of 9,000, and I see,
A former beauty queen is she.
She won't last the entire week!

[eleny]

41. This one's lame but I had to jump in!

There once was a guy named John
Who thought he could pull off a con
With the voters bailin'
He called on Ms. Palin
But now his support is all gone!

[JeffR]

42. OK then:

A clever young Alaskan named Palin
Has a dubious cure for the ailin'
With oil (snake and crude)
She anoints the old dude
But the regimen clearly is failin'.

[saltpoint]

52. Jesus, that is good.

Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.

Top-drawer, spit-shine, xtra special midnight train secret Good.

[JeffR]

58. Why thank you!

I wasn't sure if "regimen" fit, but I couldn't think of an alternate word.

[chiefofclarinet]

43. He is not yet dead...

McCoot says that he is not yet dead.
He thinks the country will go red.
But picking Sarah Palin,
Made libertarians go a-wailin'.
He'd be better off picking Old Man Fred!

[CitizenPatriot]

44. McFailin Now

McCain full o'shame
sought to redeem his campaign
so he picked a girl
thought he'd give that a whirl
she could learn at his feet
how to play politics and beat
little did he know
little did he care
what seeds of hate he would sow
amongst those he sought to ensnare
she would come to be known
as Bloody Sarah and worse
while he emerging from his cone
of silence did feel the curse
fundies hoped he died
liberals knew he lied
it was his last run
and it weren't no fun
Patriarchal Barbie wasn't listenin'
and the polls they weren't gainin'
into Rove's arms he did fall
that night in November when he got the call
He was McFailin now.

[Gregorian]

54. Haha.

You're prolific! Or, proselific.

Yahoo.

[CitizenPatriot]

64. ha ha, I've been accused of being prolific before, if you know what I mean:-)

but never proselific! Thank you!

:woohoo:

[chiefofclarinet]

45. Comes by it (dis)honest

Corruption is the norm in the GOP.
McBush had Keating Five, you see.
But his new running mate,
Had started Troopergate.
Not bad for a woman of forty-three.

(Yes I know she's 44, but it makes the rhyme work. :P)

[hootinholler]

46. Ok, a lame one...

There once was a John named McCane
On the white house his sights he did train
The polls he was trailin
For veep he picked Palin
And proved that he was just insane.

-Hoot

[Motown_Johnny]

74. Pretty good, not lame at all

[chiefofclarinet]

47. The beginning of the end...

"The Son of Cain" is leading the troop.
How far will he continue to stoop?
His first decision, you see,
Is a beauty queen for VP.
This will be the end of that group!

[chiefofclarinet]

48. The world's easiest debate

McMansions seems not too bright.
For Palin will not put up a fight.
She has asked, "What is a VP?"
So the vice-pres debate will be,
A lot of hearing, "Of course, Biden is right!"

[chiefofclarinet]

49. Hillary Clinton DOES NOT equal Sarah Palin

Hillary Clinton must be very mad.
Palin's platform is quite sad.
She is very anti-choice.
She won't give gays any voice.
And the "glass ceiling" quote was REALLY bad!

[chiefofclarinet]

50. One of the uses of Palin...

Palin is very much a dope.
Does she know foreign policy? Nope.
She thinks evolution is wrong.
And world's age ain't long.
But she gives Obama's supporters HOPE!

[chiefofclarinet]

51. You'd think he'd have learned by now...

McPOW just made a lot of foes.
Palin stepped on Pawlenty's toes.
Romney's dog should go hide.
Lieberman might have cried.
And Cindy's livid, we suppose.

[Arugula Latte]

60. I like your limericks, chiefofclarinet. Thanks!

Also, welcome to DU! :hi:

[blitzen]

53. There was a young gov'ner named Sarah...

Who loved to go hunt polar bear-a
She'd peer through the thistles
With nuclear missiles...
When served they were slightly past rare-a.

[Gregorian]

56. Ouch. I mean yay!

Nice style.

[Motown_Johnny]

68. That one made me laugh.

[chiefofclarinet]

55. If you lie down with dogs...

The governor of the tundra soil,
Will make anybody that's smart recoil.
She's a geezer's heartbeat away,
From prez of the US of A.
Plus, she literally sleeps with Big Oil!

[bleever]

57. Can we show a little respect?

No?

Okay then:


She's fetching, and feisty, and fecund.
"She's just what we need," Johnny reckoned.
"With the strength of her star
We'll defeat Paul and Barr
And secure a respectable second."

[chiefofclarinet]

59. *laughing too hard, and having problems breathing*

Dang, I've been doing these for the last hour and a half, and you blew me away! The rhymes are clever and the point is hilarious.

Nice work!

[Arugula Latte]

62. Extra credit for rhyming "fecund" and "reckoned.'

:)

[saltpoint]

63. Permafrost Barbie

- - - -

Permafrost Barbie
Cavalcade of bad Puke veeps
McCain's shallow prop

- - - -

[bleever]

65. Are we over ourselves yet?

No?

Good.


With polish, panache, and much promise,
Her selection would outshine Obama's.
But unlike putting Quayle in,
The choice of Ms. Palin
Was much more like Eagleton, Thomas.

[Bluebear]

66. Alaskan gov'nor/can teach you how to catch fish,/not be President.

[gateley]

67. That gov from Alaska, Sarah

That gov from Alaska, Sarah,
Says it's fine to trash the State's terra.
With McCain she'll go far
If he needs CPR
He picked her in case he needs care-a.

[moriah]

69. Here's mine.

i cannot believe
i saw a democrat quote
dr. laura's tripe

me, idealistic?
yeah, that's why i'm a liberal
hate me if you want

it makes me vomit
we are better than this shit
(at least, we should be)

for saying my view
i guess i have earned a place
on your ignore list

but seriously,
she's scary and I don't want
her NEAR the white house

so let's not go there
her record is important
not her uterus

desperate mccain
senator, your pick is no
hillary clinton

[blitzen]

70. (version 2.0): There was a young gov'ner named Sarah

Who did deja-vu Yogi Berra.
"It's not true that I said
Everything that I said."
Then she smiled and said, "Friends...War on Terra."

[bleever]

71. Okay, last one:

With Russia next door overseas,
And me (like you) with ovaries...
If you were for Hill,
Then swallow this pill,
And life will be rainbows and ponies.

[Arugula Latte]

75. Love it!

:thumbsup:

[Jim Lane]

72. A homage to the Dem who was passed over

McCain had his heart set on Joe,
But the fundies said that was a no-go.
"No one who's for choice!"
They cried with loud voice.
But the Palin pick brought in their dough.

[Motown_Johnny]

73. I like that one.. very thoughtful

[flamingdem]

76. kick for comic relief nt