Bill Clinton's Convention Speech to Be on Five-Second Delay

[kpete]

Bill Clinton's Convention Speech to Be on Five-Second Delay
August 25, 2008 | 03:48 PM (EST)
Andy Borowitz,

Former President Bill Clinton's speech at the Democratic National Convention in Denver Wednesday night will be broadcast on a five-second delay similar to that used to screen callers on talk radio programs, party officials confirmed today.

The five-second delay, customarily used to censor callers who might use profanity or other unacceptable speech on a radio show, has never before been used in the broadcast of a speech by a former President of the United States, experts believe.

But convention planners, nervous that Mr. Clinton might depart from his prepared remarks in an unacceptable way, said that they were using the delay "just in case."

"We hope and expect that Bill Clinton will give a stirring and perfectly acceptable speech, by broadcast standards," said DNC chairman Howard Dean. "However, if we see his face turning red and his forehead starting to throb, we'll be there to pull the plug."

more at:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/bill-clintons-convention_b_121219.html

i am looking forward to ALL of this evening, lots of confidence...kp

[WeDidIt]

1. Borowitz does excelelnt satire n/t

[democrattotheend]

2. Is this a joke?

I can't imagine Dean would actually admit it if they were going to do this.

[joshcryer]

9. The fact that you have to ask just *shows* how incredibly ridiculous the Clinton hate has become.

:hi:

[democrattotheend]

16. I don't hate the Clintons

I admit I don't have a very high opinion of Bill at the moment (I am much more favorable towards Hillary than I am towards him). But I was just confirming that this was a joke...if it wasn't, I was going to say that whoever made the decision was really dumb.

[TheDebbieDee]

11. Yes, it is a joke - a Borowit'z article..............

[truthisfreedom]

3. Is 5 seconds long enough? I thought the standard was 7? It was invented here in Minneapolis...

The 7 second delay was exactly the amount of time it took to play the WLOL jingle if bad words appeared on the air.

on edit: just read the article... it's satire.

[speedoo]

4. kpete posting satire! New beginnings?

LOL.

[joshcryer]

5. "It's just like those motherfuckers."

Damn straight! Bill Clinton can't get a break!!!!!!11

[JeffR]

6. Satire, in case any intends to pounce on this thread.

;-)

[Qutzupalotl]

7. Borowitz humor piece.

Full of that Borowitz humor.

[niyad]

8. how republican of them to insult our former president in this fashion

by the way, how many of you have noticed that in the line-up of speakers, Fmr. President Clinton is simply listed as Bill Clinton, without any title?

[DevonRex]

14. It's SATIRE. nt

[Name removed]

15. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[niyad]

17. the hatred for the clintons exhibited by some on this board is really sickening.

did you really have it that bad when he was prez?

[niyad]

18. you tell me why his is the only name without a title on the speakers' list I saw yesterday

and today.

[TheDoorbellRang]

23. What speakers' list were you looking at?

The official democratic convention site lists him as "Former President Bill Clinton"

http://www.demconvention.com/schedule/

[redstate_democrat]

24. Did Carter have a title?

[onenote]

28. Carter didn't even speak -- just a video

But somehow its Bill that is being dissed...

Nonsense is strong around here today

[kdmorris]

21. I cannot believe you are allowed to talk about him that way

troll... well, that seems a little...ironic.

[sniffa]

27. Ooh, a PA

[Jackpine Radical]

10. Damn.

I got sucked in.

[doublethink]

12. That was pretty funny.

[Ichingcarpenter]

13. Borowitz's humor is so good it even sounds true

I love the Howard Dean comment which we know Dean would never say.

[kdmorris]

19. You got me!! I was fooled.

I was all outraged and upset that there was any sort of censorship going on. And, the article got me, sound plausible, even, right up to this line:

For his part, former President Clinton said that he was "surprised" by the DNC's decision to institute the five-second delay, but added, "It's just like those motherfuckers."

Good one!!!

[SurfingAtWork]

20. Oh, satire

:blush:

[onenote]

22. Borowitz is two for two today -- second time he's punk'd DUers

Some folks here need to get a grip and stop believing everything they read on the Internet!

[Demeter]

25. That's not a Bad Idea, Actually

and I'm sorry to have to say it.

[MGKrebs]

26. Not only that, you're sorry for having said it.

[Demeter]

31. No, I Do Not Regret Speaking the Truth

I do regret the failings of men, however.

[wvbygod]

29. Standard fare...nothing to see here...move along

Just in case he decides to tell us that the gold, it's in the............

[IdClaire]

30. too funny!

it would be compelling tv viewing!