The Official "Post your favorite politically-based Carlin Quotes" thread

[scheming daemons]

The original subject was "Carlin on Death".


“‘Older’ sounds a little better than ‘old,’ doesn’t it?, sounds like it might even last a little longer. ... I’m getting old. And it’s OK. Because thanks to our fear of death in this country I won’t have to die — I’ll ‘pass away.’ Or I’ll ‘expire,’ like a magazine subscription. If it happens in the hospital they’ll call it a ‘terminal episode.’ The insurance company will refer to it as ‘negative patient care outcome.’ And if it’s the result of malpractice they’ll say it was a ‘therapeutic misadventure.”’


Please don't insult George by saying that he "passed away".


He fucking died. (That's how he'd say it)



Yes... this is my second Carlin OP today..... and he was extremely relevant to politics, which makes it appropriate for GD-P

[polichick]

1. I'd say he just moved on to the next great adventure - we'll miss him!

[BootinUp]

2. Carlin was a different kind of genius.

He's enjoying his sense of humor wherever he is now.

[Life Long Dem]

3. I don't believe this belongs in the GD-P

This is Presidential politics and not General Discussion politics.

I didn't come into the Presidential race forum to grieve over a death. If I want to see the news in general i'd go to that forum and grieve or whatever.

Edit - The OP edited his post after I wrote this. The original subject was "Carlin on Death".

[scheming daemons]

5. Ok... here's Carlin on "the Presidency"

I know you can’t threaten the president, and God knows I would never do that. That would be stupid and crazy and of course, morally wrong, not to mention legally wrong. No one should ever threaten the president.

I think it might also be illegal to say that you merely wish him some sort of terrible harm. Some forms of harm, of course, being more illegal to wish than others. You could never, for instance, mention guns or bullets. That would be not only be illegal, it would be wrong and dangerous.

And if you did such a foolish thing, I believe “they” (the men with no expressions on their faces) would come to your house and pay you a visit –just to check you out thoroughly and make sure that, even though you wished the president some harm, you wouldn’t actually go about causing it yourself. Wishing is fine, doing is not. Especially wishing out loud.

And I certainly would never wish a president any sort of harm …out loud. It’s not in my heart to do such a thing –to any human being. I wish all people only the best at all times …out loud. Especially the president. Because even though I disagree with his policies, and think he is a dangerous imbecile, he is, after all, the President of all of us, and he is a fellow human being, deserving of respect. (That was hard to say, but I wanted to keep the record straight.)

But I want to say that I do enjoy it when other people create mischief. I like to read about mischief.
I especially like those terrorist fellows in the Middle East who run around blowing themselves up along with other people; they strike me as interesting guys. And pretty soon they’ll graduate from simple explosives to more interesting and sophisticated things like germs and chemicals. That will really be fun. Especially for a guy like me who enjoys chaos and disorder.

Do you think the men with no expression on their faces would come to my house if I merely said that it would be fun to read that an Iraqi terrorist (trying to get even for something or other that he imagines might have happened in the 90’s) left a big bag of anthrax germs in the White House? You know, just some guy on the White House tour leaving a big bag of germs on a table? Metal detectors have a hard time detecting bags of germs, don’t they? Would it be illegal to say that? Would the expressionless men come to my house if I said that? I guess I’ll find out.



There... now it is relevant to GD-P.

;-)

[CBGLuthier]

7. Sorry for your incomvenience

you poor fucking baby.

[Hepburn]

4. K&R...

...I miss him already!

:cry:

[MnFats]

6. he croaked. kaaaked. kicked it. joined the choir eternal.

RELEASED THE MORTAL COIL


there's really some b.s. ways to say it, huh?

[JVS]

9. taking a dirt-nap, pushing up daisies, bit the dust, caught his lunch, merged with the universe, etc

[scheming daemons]

8. Another quote

"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a
tree, something is wrong."

[SurfingAtWork]

10. Inside every cynic is a dissapointed idealist -George Carlin

That is one of my favorite quotes of his.

[scheming daemons]

13. “You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans”

[Arugula Latte]

14. But yet the Bush family goes on ...

[Blue_In_AK]

15. And, oh, so true.

I can speak from personal experience.

[BuyingThyme]

11. "Fuck you!"

(Not you, Scheming Daemons.)

[scheming daemons]

12. Don't clarify it... yes... FUCK ME

;-)

[GihrenZabi]

16. Favorite quote

"Garbage in - garbage out ."

- Carlin on why politicians are of such low caliber

[scheming daemons]

17. "I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it."

[Catchawave]

18. "The Ten Commandments"

Brilliant !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCz0-HY1TLU

[BklynChick]

not exactly political, but I loved when he talked about not believing in god, so validating to us

atheists, and hilarious of course.

[SurfingAtWork]

20. "Atheism is a non-prophet organization."

[BklynChick]

19. not exactly political, but I loved when he talked about not believing in god, so validating to us

atheists, and hilarious of course.