Welcome to the General Discussions: Primaries automated switchboard.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

Welcome to the General Discussions: Primaries automated switchboard. Press 1 for English. Press 2 for Angry Illogical Ranting.

((BEEP))

You have selected Angry Illogical Ranting. Welcome to General Discussion: Primaries. Please make the following selection:

Press 1 for broad-based generalizations.
Press 2 for the strawman fallacy.
Press 3 for subtly inciting hatred against your fellow Democrat.
Press 4 for arguing implausible scenarios just to rile up fear.
Press 5 for gross hypocrisy.
Press 6 for sanctimonious self-righteousness.
Press 7 for pretending to care about things you really don't care about just to suit your own agenda.
Press 8 for mock indignation.
Press 9 for veiled threats.
Press 10 for telling others to recommend your post because getting it on the Greatest Page is the best thing that will ever happen to you in your life and you can now die happy.
Press 11 for crazed mob mentality and herd behavior.
Press 12 for rationalizing your own behavior by claiming that the other side acts much worse than yours.
Press 13 for being an grand embarrassment to your own candidate and being against everything for which he or she actually stands.
Press 14 for circular logic, red herrings and non-sequitors.
Press 15 for TYPING IN CAPITAL LETTERS AND CURSING A LOT!!!!!!!
Press 16 for exaggerating the outcome of current events and otherwise blindly panicking for no reason.
Press 17 for prematurely jumping to conclusions based solely on rumor, innuendo or unsubstantiated evidence.
Press 18 for quoting out of context.
Press 19 for counterproductive behavior that is only going to serve to further divide us down the road.
Press 20 for not actually giving a damn about what your candidate is actually saying because you have worked yourself up into an emotionally frenzied state.

If you wish to repeat these options, you are obviously a troll and clearly want the Democrats to lose. We are in the process of alerting the moderators, and your thread will be locked. Prepare to be tombstoned. IBTL!!! IBTL!!!

If you are looking for calmness, rationality, common sense, unity, coalition building and/or logic, no options exist for such choices. Please hang up and feel disillusioned by your fellow Democrats. We fuck you for your patience. Have a shitty day.

[myrna minx]

1. Delete sub-thread

:hi:

[Ichingcarpenter]

2. Delete sub-sub-thread

[rug]

3. This place is more 911 than 411.

[Mooney]

6. It's actually more 311.

Here in NYC that's the hotline that was set up to report quality-of-life offenses, like foul odors and loud noise.

[Double T]

4. May I suggest Anger Management classes?

.....and a glass of Merlot or Cabernet; room temp.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

5. This was actually my catharsis.

My gut instinct was to just burst in and tell everyone in this forum how absolutely stupid and idiotic they were. :hi:

But creative writing is so much more fun.

[Double T]

7. I'm bustin' your chops BRO!

HELL, I think many of US feel exactly the same way YOU do, much of the time. Good job and great post. Back to the blood pressure elevation!!

[NanceGreggs]

8. There's nothing more laugh-provoking ...

... than being told to have a good look at ourselves!

K&R - very well done piece!

[Tommy_Carcetti]

11. Thanks!

A little self-deprication is good for everyone.

[SoCalDem]

9. para el español, prensa veintiuno

:rofl:

[Marrah_G]

10. Hehehe- Now that was funny.

[truebrit71]

12. Ignored.

nt

[Tommy_Carcetti]

13. Cue the Charlie Brown Christmas Special music...

[Phillycat]

14. Why am I not surprised that the most honest post in this forum

isn't getting a lot of attention?

I thought it was hilarious. :D

[Tommy_Carcetti]

15. Well I tried.....

Thanks for the props anyways.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

16. 1

[nichomachus]

17. Press 21 if you have way too much time on your hands

[madinmaryland]

18. K&R!

:hi:

[Tommy_Carcetti]

21. Thank you my fellow Marylander and Lounge friend! nt

[madinmaryland]

22. Stop by the Maryland forum and make your restaurant recommendations!

:hi:

[papapi]

19. Press "0" for ozone, 'cause that's where your mind is headed if you keep making . . .

...up crazy shit like this!:puffpiece:

[Arkansas Granny]

20. Great work. We could all use a little humor right about now.

:thumbsup:

[Lil Missy]

23. LOL!

:thumbsup:

[QC]

24. No. 11 seems to be the most popular option lately. n/t

[Tommy_Carcetti]

25. Agreed.

I'm just waiting for the torches and pitchforks to be broken out soon.

[anonymous171]

26. 5, 6, and 7 are very popular.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

28. All 20 of them are very popular here.

I actually thought of more, but I figured I'd keep it at 20. Nice even number.

[JimGinPA]

27. Press 00 for Having The Only Opinion That Matters

B-)

[QC]

29. This place makes Free Republic look like Plato's Academy. n/t

[SeattleGirl]

30. Press # repeatedly if you are convinced that your arguments for

your candidate have a chance in hell of bringing the other candidate's supporters over to your side. :P

[Tommy_Carcetti]

31. After this weekend, this seems to apply more than ever. n/t

[Seabiscuit]

32. Well done. Your OP should have gotten hundreds of recommendations.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

33. If I pressed Option 10, that would have been a breeze! nt

[TahitiNut]

34. #6 #8 #6 #8 #6 #8 #6 #8 #6 #8 #6 #8 #6 #8 #6 #8 #6 #8 #6 #8 #6 #8 #6 #8

:party:

[QueenOfCalifornia]

35. I missed this

when it was originally posted.

Very good indeed.

I'd rec but can not now.