For the fund drive, a few people have expressed reluctance to punch the DU Admins in the face.

[Skinner]

During this week's "Worst Fund Drive Ever," one of the rewards for donating to DU is the opportunity to punch the DU Administrators in the face. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, look up at the top of your computer screen.) Apparently this is a pretty powerful incentive. After a slow start, the donations have picked up and we might have to change the name of the fund drive to something like, "Not So Bad Fund Drive" or "Surprisingly, Much Better Fund Drive Than We Initially Feared."

Of course, there are still plenty of people who have not donated. And one of the more common reasons people give for not donating is that they don't want to punch the DU Administrators in the face. (Perhaps they are pacifists, or maybe they are lying to make us feel better.)

So, in an effort to appeal to the remaining hold-outs, including those who have expressed reluctance to punch the DU Administrators in the face, we are offering you with some alternatives. Here's your chance to tell the DU Administrators what you *really* think about us.

If the fund drive makes it to 1000 donations before midnight Sunday, which of the following should happen (virtually) to the DU Administrators?

[Shakespeare]

1. mmmm....cream pies....

Coconut, please.

[LisaM]

2. It has to be the pie!

The itchy contact lenses would cause my own eyes to itch......

[ellenfl]

3. nah, it has to be . . . shaved heads!!! eom

[graywarrior]

7. Yeah, shave heads!

[FSogol]

4. Admins have to drink 7-11 coffee in lieu of Starbucks' Cappuccinos.

:beer:

[sandnsea]

5. Big sloppy

red lipstick kisses all over your faces. You would just love that, wouldn't you.

[siligut]

42. I second this.

Terrific idea sandnsea.

[terrya]

6. Could you replace your pics with, say, Ann Coulter?

I've always wanted to see her punched in the face. I think a lot of people would like that.

Thank you. I'm sorry I couldn't donate any more.

Terry

[Harry Monroe]

35. I'd rather kick Ann in the balls

[rasputin1952]

68. Damn...you beat me to it...

[Tribetime]

81. lmao that's the one, too bad it's not up there

oh well shaved heads

[Uben]

8. Could we have them disemboweled?

Kinda like on Braveheart! Yeah, that's the ticket!

[Barack_America]

9. Skinner, please give us a place to discuss the general election.

And I will gladly punch you in the face. ;)

I'm honestly torn on where to post general election topics. They sink like rocks on this board and the "Primaries" title makes it seem almost inappropriate. And it seems unkind to take over "General Discussion" with purely political discussion.

What do we do?

Where do we go?

Advice would be appreciated.

[cbayer]

10. Shave heads!!

Then post pic of said heads.

It's the least you can do.

[TZ]

11. I really wish I could donate right now.

Just can't. And this humorous drive alone with this pretty funny poll is one of the reasons I love this place. Oh yeah, and the fact that some freepers thought grovelbot was a hack job..priceless.
To me, this is definitely one of the more entertaining drives.
FWIW I voted for the cream pies!
:)

[rucky]

12. As long as no cattle is harmed in the making of the cream pies

I think that would be a fitting form of nonviolent public humiliation.

[KSinTX]

13. How about change the faces to McCain, Bush & Cheney

I'd donate again for that chance! It would also put the emphasis back where it needs to be. Just an idea.

[yardwork]

19. This is what I want to see!

I just don't feel good about hurting the Admins in any way.

[mainegreen]

14. Shave heads.

Seriously. Do it.
You'd never go back!

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

15. I like positive things like the hearts better than agression

it was nice in February to be able to donate hearts to other DUers.

There's too much negativity here as it is.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

16. Shave Elsewhere...

I am so embarrassed at myself right now...

[Tektonik]

23. or did you mean, "which head?"

:P

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

45. Ewww!

Even I didn't go there.

But, yeah. Basically.

[DS1]

17. Pull straws if you hit one thousand

loser has to run a lap around the block in nothing but boxers.

on videotape.

[kpete]

18. how about

streaking across the page?

[Coexist]

20. shave your heads -solidarity with ali velshi

[EFerrari]

21. We'll get there by Sunday but, is there a reason why we don't just go

until we hit 1000 donations?

[Skinner]

28. Because fund drives are annoying for our visitors, and we don't want them to last forever.

We're using the PBS/NPR model. Set aside a few days, do it for those days, then stop.

[EFerrari]

29. Okay. Thanks, Skinner. n/t

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

73. next time, can you let us give someone a star or heart or something?

I really enjoyed the February promotion.

[Catherina]

22. Shave heads but we'll need photographic proof

:evilgrin:

[TahitiNut]

48. Here's the kind of 'proof' I want to see ...

[TahitiNut]

79. (Damn! And here I thought this was funny!)

(sigh)

[lumberjack_jeff]

82. You have a point.

Although the nyuk nyuk nyuk/two fingers in the eyes/hit-my-hand-so-I-can-windmill-around-to-hit-you-with-the-rebound thing doesn't translate so well to animated gif.

[PoliticalAmazon]

24. Publish pictures of admins in thong underdrawers. n/t

[WeDidIt]

25. I think the masks should come off the administrators to reveal

that is was Bush, Cheney, and McCain the whole time.

Then punch the heck out of them.

[The Traveler]

26. The pie, dude

It hasta be the pie. And not just this virtual pie stuff. Real pies. Three Admins. Three pies. All at once. Three Stooges style. And we want it recorded and posted in Political Videos where we can enjoy it over and over and over again. :evilgrin:

[Oeditpus Rex]

27. I say we either slap them with kippers

...or put them in the Comfy Chair.







And they will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at 11!

[Harry Monroe]

38. "No One Expects a Spanish Inquisition!!"

[flvegan]

30. Throwing pies at authority is tradition, isn't it?

We tossed pies at our teachers for fundraisers in high school. Seems to be in good humor.

[TrogL]

31. C'mon, I haven't seen a seltzer bottle soak in decades

Did the Three Stooges live in vain?

[RichardRay]

32. I vote for....

Admins with shaved heads wearing itchy contact lenses smoking exploding cigars being washed down with seltzer bottles to remove the remains of the cream pies.

I know I must have missed a couple, but I can't see the poll choices while typing this reply...

[DU GrovelBot]

33. ## DON'T DONATE TO DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND! ##

==================
GROVELBOT.EXE v4.1
==================



This week is our second quarter 2008 fund drive. Democratic Underground is
a completely independent website. We depend on donations from our members
to cover our costs. Whatever you do, do not click the link below!

[Swamp Rat]

84. DON'T LISTEN TO GROVELBOT.EXE v4.1!!!

:D

[Writer]

34. Cream pies off your bellies.

Spring Break DU '08!

Woohoooooo!

;)

[Midlodemocrat]

36. Come clean about your true identities.

[berni_mccoy]

53. LOLOLOLOLOLOL OMG!

[Tarheel_Dem]

94. I love it! LMAO.......

:applause:

[redqueen]

37. How about some of those fancy curly moustaches?

I'm not so crazy bout the handlebar idea... but the wacky ones? Like in the facial hair contests?

That'd be awesome!

[Harry Monroe]

39. Atomic Wedgies

[LynneSin]

40. Skinner, you know the losers at Free Republic thinks one of their own hacked this fundraiser

They haven't figured out this "worst fund raiser ever" and "do not donate" are actually your brainchild.

[Skinner]

43. I saw that.

Hilarious.

[MaineDem]

59. No kidding??

That's a riot!

[EFerrari]

69. It was too good:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7738361

[AtomicKitten]

41. thanks for the reminder

done ;)

[Annces]

44. How about excerpts from your diaries

unedited.

[TahitiNut]

46. Other ...

[A HERETIC I AM]

47. All of the above, dammit. n/t

[MattBaggins]

49. I donated just because I never realized

that Bruce Vilanch was a DU admin.

http://www.wegotbruce.com/

[Arugula Latte]

50. No admins were harmed in the making of this fundraiser.

[berni_mccoy]

51. Damn, now I'm going to have to donate, JUST TO SEE YOU GUYS BALD! LOL!

[asthmaticeog]

52. MAGIC MARKER DICK & BALLS ON THE CHINS! MAGIC MARKER DICK & BALLS ON THE CHINS!

:bounce:

[Robb]

88. You are a genius in the classic sense! /nt

[SOteric]

54. No.

No, I don't want to punch you guys in the face, I don't want you hit with cream pies, I don't want to see you stripped down to your boxers and dunked in a tank of water... Wait, - hold off on the last one. It actually sounds pretty good until you get to the dunking.


I actually like you guys. You've given all of us a place of refuge at a time when the internets, the media, all of the U.S. was out to suppress the expression of a lucid liberal thought. I'd rather buy you a beer.

The urge to hit my fellow posters with a cream pie, however, -that comes up fairly often.

[Catherine Vincent]

55. Have the glove start the punch but move the admins faces

to another part of the board. If Loc, Ben and Jacob can move that big island on "Lost", then you guys should be able to move the admins. (hopefully a "Lost" fan can agree with me and know what the heck I'm talking about).

[MaineDem]

56. Oh, I love the shaved heads idea

I wanna see that. :)

[housewolf]

57. Switch to Bush, Cheny & McCain

We're really all itching to take them down for good... not you guys

[rpannier]

58. Someone suggested giving kittens

I want kittens

[Time for change]

60. What is midnight Sunday?

Is that the borderline between Saturday and Sunday or between Sunday and Monday?

[whistler162]

61. I will donate after it goes past 1000

but not before.

I view this the same way I view yearly United Way drives that hold contests if you increate your donation $X amount. I will usually increase my donation $X-.01.

[shireen]

62. none of the above ...

you guys are my heroes. I will not punch you.

If you sub your faces with 3 George Ws, I'll donate. And i predict you'll see a spike in donations.

(note: i'll donate some other time, can't bring myself to do it while that boxing glove is moving towards you)

[AlCzervik]

63. How about pantsing? Oh wait, a wet willy.

[rox63]

64. A vote for shaved heads here

Complete with photographic proof. :D

[Lilith Velkor]

65. TAZE THE ADMINS! GIVE THEM THE CHAIR!1!

BRRRRRAP-PAP-PP-AP-AAAAH!11



ARE YOU THREATENING ME?!!2?!1!

[Lochloosa]

67. Perfect!

[TBF]

66. Donation made by pacifist who is looking forward to seeing all the mods shave their heads! nt

[Forkboy]

70. Icy Hot in their boxers!

Old hockey gag that never gets old. :)

[From The Ashes]

71. Bald is beautiful!

:rofl:

[Blue-Jay]

72. Note to self: Don't do a google search for "creampie".

:mad:

[Forkboy]

76. There's a reason Google gives you a safe search option.

My friend makes music under the moniker Massive Inch...imagine what comes up in that search! :D

[mtnester]

74. I vote shave heads, but that poll question would be useless

without pics (no photoshops)

[NightWatcher]

75. How about a cold beer creeping towards towards the Admins?

yall have done very good this primary. I thought we were gonna flip this thing a couple of times already

[Kahuna]

77. I vote seltzer squirt. What, no wedgies?

:scared:

[Samantha]

78. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PENNED THIS TODAY -

What a coincidence - I am as we speak writing a thread I hope to post soon about punching. I hope you read it. It is intended to take the stressful wind out of our DU political sails ...

Sam

I am donating, BTW - you guys have done a great job, but even if I were not inclined to think so, to deprive this website of donations for punitive political reasons is so - Republican-lite!

[eppur_se_muova]

80. Other: Admins forced to pose for compromising photos with GrovelBot. nt

[benny05]

83. Skinner..

Your poll cracks me up. But to be honest, I love the other drives more of valentines, shamrocks. I appreciate it that you are doing something different, but to be truthful, I'd rather not have you three be punching bags, pied in the face, etc. Some of the DU'ers...maybe, but that's different. How about celebrating a unity quilt...(since the primaries are drawing to a close) in which we paste as we have done in the past our favorite pols, not just presidential candidates, but downtickets, locals, etc, but give us a little more space.

If if the three of you still favor being combative for your drive, how about filling in a Bush wall with the yukiest pics of him, McSame, and media hacks, similar to the quilts.

There are times I am frustrated at this place, but I still give monthly. Why? Because the admins have been good about staying out the endorsements, and just letting us rant, rejoice, or have a drink at the DU Lounge.

Thank you Skinner, EarlG, and Elad.


:yourock:

[orleans]

85. make that 825 donations (i mailed my check to today)

i love some of these choices--
itchy contact lenses!
Cream pie in the face
Draw embarrassing handlebar mustaches
Seltzer bottle squirt in the face
and
Mess up hair (that's hysterical! as if that could be the worse thing for someone!)

i'd vote for one of these--but i just can't decide which one.

they're all good.

ok...after much deep thought, i'm going with the contact lenses. how fucking stupid is that?!?! i love it!

[ruby slippers]

86. cream pies for sure....I let my students do that to me once....notice I

said "once!" I used tin pans with whipped cream and it cut my face. so, use paper plates instead, fellows.

[bridgit]

87. Punching Thee ad-mins seems a bit extreme...maybe just the dude with the Beatle hair cut...

That *is* punch worthy

[Bluenorthwest]

89. Paypal problems

And they will not pick up the phone to fix them. I'll shove a check into the mail next week, but the Paypal thing is a pain. I will not use it again.
I keep getting warnigs from Paypal and warnings that the warnings are fake, and then my donation did not go through, twice. I am sort of cheesed off truth be told.

[Crunchy Frog]

90. All of the above?

:evilgrin:

[pansypoo53219]

91. what?

no spank option?

[yourguide]

92. Cream pie and I'm in for $20

[rpannier]

93. I gave this a lot of thought and...

I realize that I am very late to the party, but I gave this whole quarterly donation thing a lot of thought.
Why are people not donating? -- I haven't and at this point I'm not going to.

I think part of the reason why, is that some people here feel pissed off. Pissed off at the poor way they've been treated, not only by other DUers, but by the mods.

There is little doubt that the majority of the people here are/were Edwards and/or Obama supporters. I'm an Edwards supporter.
But, to be fair, the Clinton supporters got shafted here big time.

I read numerous posts that accused the Clintons of being murderers, calling HRC a bitch, calling them racists,etc.
Many, if not most, were never deleted.
I sent in an alert on a poster who accused the Clintons of being murderers-- nothing happened.
A post calling her a 'bitch' stayed up, but a post calling Obama a POS was taken done. They both should have gone.

When people feel f*cked over, coming out and glad-handing for cash is a difficult thing.
I'm not donating (at this point) because I think the site did f*ck over Clinton supporters -- who are Democrats.

You may disagree with me, you may even have me TS'd, that's your choice. It's your site,your rules. But when the people who are supposed to enforce the rules fall short (and they did), then people have the right to feel angry.
And in this case they show their distain by not donating.

I hope you make 1000 donations. I hope you make the money to keep this site up. A lot of people, including myself, like this site. I've donated every quarter since I've been a member.
This time, I can't come up with a fair and valid reason to donate.

[Swamp Rat]

95. kick