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From Act 1, Scene 2:
McAuliffe: Obama!
Obama: What, who calls?
{i]Dean: Peace, Ho! Obama speaks!
McAuliffe: Obama!
Obama: Who is it from the press that calls on me? I hear a tongue, shriller than all the music, Cry "Obama!" Speak: Obama is turned to hear.
McAuliffe: Obama, beware the Fourth of June.
Obama: What man is this?
Dean: A soothsayer who bids to beware the Fourth of June.
Obama: Fellow, come from the throng. Look upon Obama.
McAuliffe: Beware the Fourth of June.
Obama: Is this not the same soothsayer who Falsely foretold Bush's victory in distant Mesopotamia?
Dean: Does Obama not mean the soothsayer Who dabbled is crystals? Nay, that was another man. This is the man who falsely foretold of our victory Here, in Rome, four and six years whence, Then led us to inglorious defeat and the hands of Bush.
Obama: He is a loser. Let us leave him: Pass!
From Act 3, Scene 1:
Obama:]/i] The Fourth of June is come.
McAuliffe: Aye, Obama, but not gone.
Dean: Why speak you to Obama on the steps? Take up your business in the Convention Center.
McAuliffe: Obama, beware Hillary. Take heed of Billius. McCain loves thee not.
Billius: Come, man, bring your suit to the Convention Center.
Obama goes to the Convention Center. The rest following.
McAuliffe: I wish your enterprise today may thrive.
Billius: What enterprise, Terry McAuliffe?
McAuliffe: Fare you well.
Hillary: What said Terry McAuliffe?
Billius: He wished our enterprise today may thrive. I fear our purpose is discovered.
Obama: Are we all ready? What is amiss That Obama and his Superdelegates must redress?
McAuliffe: Most high, most mighty, most puissiant Obama! Terry McAuliffe throws before thy seat An humble heart.
Obama: I must prevent thee, McAuliffe. These crouchings and these courtesies Might fire the blood of ordinary men Into the law of children. Be not found To think Obama bears such such rebel blood.
McAuliffe: Is there no voice more worthy than my own To sound more sweetly in Great Obama's ear For the repealing of my banished brothers From the provinces of Michigan and Florida?
Obama: I could well be moved, if I were as you; If I could pray to be moved, prayers would not move me McAuliffe, thy banished brothers love Obama not, And obeyeth not the rules of the holy Dean, And by decree they are banished.
Billius: Pardon, Obama; Obama, pardon. As low as to thy foot doth Billius fall To beg enfranchisement for Michigan and Florida And the nomination for Hillary.
Hillary: I kiss thy hand but not in flattery, Obama Desiring thee that Florida and Michigan Should have immediate repeal and I should have the nomination.
Billius: Aye, let Hillary have the nomination For the people loveth her above Obama, so according to our math. Be generous, Great Obama! Be thou not niggardly.
Obama (aside to Dean): That word means stingy, does it not?
Dean (aside to Obama): Aye, Obama. 'Tis not the foul word Like which it sounds.
Obama: That's good to hear. (To Billius and Hillary) Watch your language, knaves. And by just what math sayest thou that the people loveth Hillary above Obama.
Hillary Well, first you have to count the brothers of McAuliffe In the provinces of Michigan and Florida, who, were they not Under the heavy judgment of Dean, would have voted for me.
Billius: And then you eliminate all the provinces That supported Bush in the recent civil war, which now support you.
Hillary: And you don;t count count the elitists who went to college . . .
Billius: . . . and actually graduated.
Hillary: See, it's simple. I win. Deal with it. I'll make you my Vice President.
Obama: But I am as constant as the Northern Star, Of whose true-fixed and resting quality There is no fellow in the firmament. The skies are painted with unnumbered sparks, They are all fire and every one doth shine, But there's one that doth hold its place. So in the world; Obmaa doth hold his place. And besides that, your mathematics Is all fucked up and doesn't add up.
McAuliffe: Obama!
Obama: Why don't you guys just go home?
Hillary: Gimme the nomination. Please.
McAuliffe: And make me party chairman again. Please, please, please.
Obama: No.
Hillary: Great Obama. Pretty please.
Obama: No way.
Billius: Pretty please with sugar on top.
McAuliffe: Please, please, please. I wanna be chairman again. I know we can win this time.
Obama: Absolutely not.
Billius: How 'bout a nice, juicy piece of watermelon?
Obama: Where do you think that kind of talk will get you?
McAuliffe: Speak, hands, for me!
Dean: Call the roll of the provinces.
Superdelegate: Mr. Chairman, the great province of Illinois moves that Obama be made nominee by acclamation.
{i]All: Hail, Obama!
McAuliffe: But you still have to count Michigan and Florida.
Billius: C'mon, Hill. I think the jig is up.
Obama: Liberty! Freedom! Tyranny is dead! Run hence, cry it about in the streets!
Exeunt all led by Obama but Billius, Hillary and McAuliffe.
Hillary (looking at McAuliffe): He is a loser. Let us leave him: Pass!
Exuent Hillary and Billius.
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