Obama campaign hit by fatal fraud!

[The Doctor.]

Newblusters;

Fraud Finishes Obama Campaign

March 24, 2008

By Hugh Jassmunch | March 24, 2008 - 17:02 ET


In the heated race for the nomination, the Obama campaign may have finally been hit with a scandal that spells demise for Barack Obama's Presidential aspirations. There is little doubt that Hillary Clinton supporters are breathing easier after the revelation that the Obama camp spent campaign money on decorative napkin holders at Tiffany's to the tune of Five hundred Seventy-Two dollars and twenty-five cents.
Obama campaign spokeswoman, Jen Psaki is doing her best to keep a lid on the scandal and said, "That's all we're going with this... we're done talking about it." Another campaign staffer spoke on condition of anonymity; "Yes, we realize what this means to all the campaign donors out there, and I can't express how disappointed we all are in Mr. Obama for this. We had such great hopes."



Meanwhile, the Clinton campaign has released a statement regarding the scandal; "Although we are very sad to hear about this, Mr. Obama's character has been called into question before due to his association with people who've used foul language, not because he's black. Now we have an incident where he has spent money that was not his at a high-class department store that traditionally caters to whites, which has nothing to do with his being black, we didn't say that. How can the voters trust a man that spends money that isn't his where he's not supposed to? -Not that being black has anything to do with it."
When asked if her campaign associates with anyone who uses foul language, the campaign stated that; "We always use racially appropriate language and take every measure to make sure that no one we know or have ever known or will know in the future has, does, or will say anything that can be taken the wrong way."

When asked how the campaign was going to deal with this, the Obama staffer replied; "Well, the money was already paid back to the campaign, but since it was our donors' money to begin with, we feel we owe it to them to give it back." He went on to say; "We have over 25 million donors, so we owe them approximately .0023 cents each. We will begin mailing the checks out this week. The postage will most likely bankrupt the campaign since donations came to a complete halt over this issue. Again, we're really very sorry for Mr. Obama's actions."

There is no word yet on when Barack Obama will be issuing a statement or inevitably announcing that he will be dropping out of the race for the Democratic nomination, but media hopes of an undetermined nominee until the convention have been dashed.



Freudian slip

[LaurenG]

1. Hugh Jassmunch is a good writer.

:rofl:

[The Doctor.]

3. Personally I find him to be a little

bi-assed.

[dchill]

2. I think it's his claim of being under sniper fire...

that will prove to be the fatal flaw. Oh, wait... never mind...

[Divine Discontent]

4. cute onion type story

why are there so many "gotcha" posts though? it seems like there's 20 a day where the subject line is actually a joke

[The Doctor.]

5. Did you see this thread;

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x5235480

Clinton people are getting pretty desperate when they make an issue out of something like that.

[Divine Discontent]

6. thank you! no, but I thought, maybe someone complained about this. eom

[The Doctor.]

9. Yeah, it was ridiculous. n/t

[Divine Discontent]

11. sums up the HRC campaign, sadly enough. never expected it to be so desperate w/Carville for example

they've really tainted their legacy with the party, I think...

[tabasco]

7. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

I'm going to google newsblusters right now.

edit: Great site!

http://www.newscorpse.com/

[The Doctor.]

10. Great site, thanks!

[cliffordu]

8. Hmmm....

Maybe I need to take a duMP before answering....

:hurts: