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Edited on Sat Mar-22-08 01:30 AM by calimary
:hug:
I think that's what's driven us to turn on each other. Because we have nowhere else to turn. You know how it is when you just lash out - without really thinking - when you've just been forced to eat so much shit that it damn near makes you crazy?
I had a mom like that. She had been publicly humiliated for so many years by a philandering husband who maintained separate living arrangements. The only ones home day in and day out were herself - and me. She would NOT get therapy or go talk to anyone, and somehow, I guess commiserating with a girlfriend here and there just wasn't enough (assuming she dropped her state of denial with any of them). She had only one outlet for her torment: me. Let me say here and now that she NEVER hit me. EVER. Never touched me in anger. Took a wild swing once or twice in my entire life that was so far from connecting that it might as well have been thrown in the next house. But the verbal attacks were INSANE!!! I know in her own way she loved me and she just couldn't help herself and didn't know any better. But it stung. She took out ALL her hostilities on me, all her anger, all her resentment, all her pent-up years of that kind of insult and neglect. She never had the nerve, much less the inclination, to confront the actual source of her misery. Passive-aggressive, I guess. But she sure took it out on me. In spades - and shovels and rakes and everything else in the garden shed. She had no relief, and no place else to put it, too proud to seek counseling or even medication to dull the pain, and it drove her nearly mad. And she lashed out at me simply because I was the only one around, so I bore the full brunt of it. Tons o' fun.
I think that same syndrome is manifesting here among many of us. I mean, I wake up every morning since December 12th, 2000, feeling like a hostage. And we here on DU have spent those years fighting, trying to get to and then spread the truth, trying to get someone to listen, whether it was someone in the media somewhere, or some Congressperson, or even a coworker or neighbor or in-law. We've met with spotty success at best, because the on-going efforts and their incomplete effectiveness have NOT relieved us of this bastard and his criminal regime, and don't seem to have done much to bring him or anybody around him to justice. The best we've gotten for all those years of dissent and activism and struggle has been scooter libby - and even THAT was an incomplete pass. These schmucks, many of them refugees from the Watergate era, learned that era's lessons well, about stacking the deck, covering your tracks, gaming the system, sneaking around more effectively and making sure to take the duct tape off the door latch. They've built entire institutions around it to support and cover for them and further their interests. All we've had is ourselves and a few other ragtag groups in the grassroots and the progressive underground. And they've had a 30-year head start in building this huge and nearly invincible infrastructure into a veritable Goliath who hasn't met his David yet, while we're stuck in the role of a David without a slingshot.
Result? FUCKING MISERY!!!
We don't have smilie symbols like this one: :banghead: for nothing.
But all I can say is that it may finally be over. It WILL be over to one extent or other, and we will be delivered, if we finally get a Dem securely in the White House. And as Howard Dean once said - the only way you lose is if you give up. And we really can't give up, can we? Which makes it all the harder when we've worked so hard and struggled for so long and still don't have a huge lot of victories to show for it yet, besides skin-of-our-teeth majorities in both houses of Congress - that aren't robust enough to get much of anything done.
That's one reason why I still find DU valuable. I try to avoid or ignore threads I think may bring me down. And I try to think of it in this context - that we're just utterly maddened by this misery and not our usual selves under this seven-and-some year long state of duress. Hang in there, okay?
:pals:
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