Some people *do* "choose" to be gay, i.e. bi-curious folks

[Used and Abused]

This is just a response to some of the criticism Kerry received last night for saying that although he believes people are born gay, some do *choose* to be gay. Bi-curious individuals are the perfect example of those who are living heterosexual lives, and want to keep it that way, yet would like to experiment with people of the same sex.

[ihaveaquestion]

1. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Isn't that what freedom is all about - free choice?

[bowens43]

2. Why do you believe that this 'curiosity' isn't genetically based?

[Used and Abused]

5. I am one of those bi-curious people

And I am heterosexual. I think my curiosity stems from the media and porn. Nothing more.

[kiahzero]

3. But they don't choose to have the choice

I'm not criticizing Kerry, just saying.

[Used and Abused]

6. Nobody can prove that

We can choose to drink pepsi or coke, that does not mean we're hardwired by nature to do so. Some people just remain asexual all their lives.

[kiahzero]

7. I fail to see the point of your example

By saying "They don't choose to have the choice", I'm saying that bisexual people do not choose to be bisexual anymore than homosexual people choose to be homosexual or heterosexual people choose to be heterosexual. Bisexual people are simply able, because of their attraction to both genders, choose between two options. However, even this is not always a choice, because many bisexual people are more attracted to one gender than another.

[JI7]

9. they are not talking about bisexuals

this person is not talking about bisexuals who are naturally attracted to people of both sexes. they are talking about people who are gay or hetero but choose to have sexual relations with the sex they are not attracted to, either by pressure, or because they are curious.

[Used and Abused]

10. True

I know at least one person who is a true bisexual. However, bicurious people are not necessarily bisexual or gay. Do you know what I mean?

[kiahzero]

13. "Bicurious," in such a context

would seem to mean to me that the individual doesn't *know* which he/she prefers, and so he/she tries out both.

[JI7]

14. no, they KNOW they are into a certain sex

but they just want to try out something else just to see what it's like or just to have fun.

[kiahzero]

16. If they like it, they are by definition bisexual.

If they don't like it, they are by definition either heterosexual or homosexual.

[JI7]

17. you can like it without being hetero or gay

like when girls get together they might just like to have fun and kiss each other and play around. but not all are sexually attracted to them as they are to guys. in this case they are heterosexual but experimenting and one could say "choosing" to be lesbian. and that's what kerry meant by "choosing".

[kiahzero]

18. I can kind of see your point now

My mind just has trouble with the idea that you could have sex with a person that repulses you sexually.

[JI7]

4. yes, some gays "choose" to be heterosexual also

because they feel pressured and are afraid to come out for fear of backlash, rejection or something similar. of course the heterosexuals who choose to be gay are not really forced, it's just something they would like to try. but i think by "choosing" kerry meant some may engage in sexual relations with people of a certain sex they are not naturallly sexually attracted to. and i know people who are gay and hetero who have done this. it doesn't actually make them gay or hetero, it just means they engaged in relations of that type. and that's what kerry meant. which is why he said people should just be allowed to be who they are. and of course he did say he thinks gays are born that way which i agree with.

[Used and Abused]

8. yeah that

You said it much better than I did. The problem is there is not a standard definition of what it means to be gay--some people think that one sexual thought about the same sex makes one gay, others think that it is the emotional/psychological attachment only that puts people in the gay category (which explains why men in jail do not consider themselves gay even though they have sex with other men).

[HuckleB]

11. What's with this "you're in or you're out" bit?

Most of nature's differences fall along a spectrum. The lines are always blurred. There is very little either/or out there.

[Gman]

12. From someone straight...

but is very close with and has talked a lot about it with a bifemale, while it may not be necessarily genetic, no doubt there was something when the child was growing up that would make this person bi. In the case of a female it could be a domineering and/or abusive father, which this person had. I don't know about the male reasons except that I suspect there is likely something similar.

[xchrom]

15. very few people are 100% straight or gay

it would be more accurate to say most people with varying degrees are hard wired to be bi-sexual.
one then emphasizes one's sexual objectives from there. it then becomes a mix of culture, nature and nurture.