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THE OWL WHO WAS GOD
--- by James Thurber
Once upon a starless midnight there was an owl who sat on the
branch of an oak tree. Two ground moles tried to slip quietly by,
unnoticed. "You!" said the owl. "Who?" they quavered, in fear and
astonishment, for they could not believe it was possible for anyone
to see them in that thick darkness. "You two!" said the owl.
The moles hurried away and told the other creatures of the field and
forest that the owl was the greatest and wisest of all animals, because he
could see in the dark, and because he could answer any question.
"I'll see about that," said a secretary bird (named Tweety), and he called
on the owl one night when it was very dark.
"How many claws am I holding up?" asked the secretary bird.
"Two," said the owl, and that was right.
"Can you give me another expression for 'that is to say' or 'namely'?"
asked the secretary bird.
"To wit," said the owl.
"Why does a lover call on his love?" asked the secretary bird.
"To woo," said the owl.
The secretary bird hastened back (to MSNBC) and reported that the owl
was indeed the greatest and wisest animal in the world, because he could
answer any question, and because he could see in the dark.
"Can he see in the daytime, too?" asked a red fox (named Hillary).
"Yes," echoed a dormouse and a French poodle (named Chelsea and Bill).
"Can he see in the daytime, too?"
All the other creatures laughed loudly at this silly question, and they set
upon the red fox and his friends and drove them out of the region. Then
they sent a messenger to the owl and asked him to be their leader.
When the owl appeared among the animals, it was high noon and the sun was
shining brightly. He walked very slowly, which gave him an appearance of
great dignity, and he peered about him with large, staring eyes, which gave
him an air of tremendous importance.
"He's God!" screamed a Plymouth Rock hen. And the others took up
the cry: "He's God!"
So they followed him wherever he went, and when he began to bump into things,
they began to bump into things, too. Finally he came to a concrete highway, and
he started up the middle of it, and all the other creatures followed him. Presently,
a hawk, who was acting as outrider, observed a truck coming toward them at fifty
miles an hour, and he reported to the secretary bird and the secretary bird
reported to the owl.
"There's danger ahead," said the secretary bird."
"To wit?" said the owl.
"A truck is heading right toward us," the secretary bird answered. "Aren't you afraid?"
"Who?" said the owl calmly, and the secretary bird cried, "He's not afraid of
anything! He's God!"
"He's God!" cried all the creatures, and they were still crying "He's God!"
when the truck hit them and ran them down. Some of the animals were merely injured,
but most of them, including the owl, were killed.
Moral: You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.
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