Dave Barry Breaks Down The Primaries...

[THUNDER HANDS]

On Tuesday, millions of Florida voters will head for the polls. Being Floridians, many of them will become confused and drive into buildings, canals, cemeteries, other Floridians, etc. But some will actually make it to the polls, where they will cast ballots that will play a crucial role in the presidential election. Or, in the case of Democrats, not.

It turns out that the 2008 Florida Democratic primary doesn't count. Florida will be sending the same number of delegates to the 2008 Democratic convention as Uzbekistan.

Anyway, for those of you who plan to vote Tuesday, here's a quick overview of the political situation:

The Republican race — It's still wide open. Mitt "Mitt" Romney holds a slight edge in delegates, plus a heifer he got for winning Wyoming. Right behind him are John McCain, Chuck Norris and the late Ronald Reagan. Bringing up the rear is Rudy, who needs a win and has been frantically courting Florida voters. He's mowing your lawn right now.

The Democratic race — It's down to Obama vs. Clinton, and it's getting nasty. They hate each other, with the kind of passionate hatred that you see only between two people who hold essentially the same positions on everything. Edwards is still running, but at this point they don't even bother to put a microphone on him for the debates. He just waves his arms to indicate how he's going to take on the big corporations.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/opinion/2004145895_dbarry28.html

[Mz Pip]

1. Funny

Maybe Rudy can come to CA this weekend and work on my lawn. I won't vote for him but he doesn't have to know that.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[razorman]

3. Hell, if I actually see Rudy mowing a lawn, he might deserve my vote.

That would probably make him the only candidate(on either side), who has ever actually done manual labor.

[silverweb]

2. Priceless.

"So that's the situation, Floridians. On Tuesday, it's your turn to stand up and be counted, unless of course you're a Democrat. But whatever you are, you should get out there and vote, even if you have no earthly idea what or whom you're voting for, or why, because that's what democracy is all about.

Also, Rudy, if you're reading this: My hedge needs trimming."

:rofl:

For anyone who never noticed before, we really do have a very screwy, undemocratic system that needs a complete overhaul.

[zbdent]

4. he has more credibility with the shi* he makes up than many

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