The Onion: A raunchy "Jimmy Carter" on the current mess! ROTFLMAO.

[arendt]

Sometimes I'm a little stupid, maybe, a little slow in the head, so I'm wondering if you can help me get something straight. Maybe you can help me understand one fucking thing right now, America, and explain to me what in the Christ is going on here. 'Cause, unless I'm missing something, this country is in the middle of a motherfucking shitstorm, and I have no fucking idea what you're gonna do to get out of it. I mean, are you seriously considering voting for one of these shitbags you got here in '08? Fat fucking chance.

<snip>

You actually seem to think one a' these assholes is gonna prance in and wave a magic wand and make everything all nice again. Look at you, sitting there like a common fucking schnook and eating all their bull about bi-fucking-partisanship, and how they have all the goddamn answers.

<snip>

Much more at:


http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/i_got_what_america_needs_right?utm_source=EMTF_Onion

[dionysus]

1. oh, roflmao

bwaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

2. Hysterically Funny...

and, sadly, pretty much completely accurate.

Carter had all the answers thirty years ago, but nobody wanted to listen.

[demnan]

3. I laughed till I cried

n/t

[Meldread]

4. LOL.

"You better get down on your hands and knees and kiss Jimmy Carter's rosy-red Georgia-peach-picking ass and beg me to run your fucking country again..."

"I was arbitrating Mideast crises when this bunch was still sucking on their mamas' titties."

"But who comes to me, huh? Fucking nobody. Why ask old Jimmy anything? What the fuck could he know about peace in the Middle East? It's not like he fucking won the Nobel Peace Prize for that shit. You myopic pricks."

"You want compassion? Somebody who's looking out for the little guy? Why don't you take a look at Jimmy Carter, 'cause unlike, oh, every motherfucking candidate out there, he spent the last fucking quarter-century building houses for the homeless. And what does he get for it? A fucking hernia."

"I'll shove a crucifix so far up the Democrats' asses they'll be asking me to buy them dinner and kiss them good night."

[phillyliberal]

5. meldread

right on my brother!

[arendt]

6. People need humor. Kick n/t