How Good Is Your Fiction Filter?

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What's true and what's not? That's the burning question on the blogs this week: Is Ozzy Osborne the new voice of CNN?; How does FOX News actually decide to report lies? (The process is finally revealed); How did "liberals" manage to bankrupt RedState? (You'll love this one!); Run, Sean Hannity! Run!; Chris Matthews really, really likes Hillary (on Planet OH RIGHT SURE); And there are "no more racists in America" (Read this before your head explodes). All this and much more, including the best Bush nicknames. Among my favorites: Fart in a Flightsuit. Plus, DUers Mythsaje, MonkeyFunk, and Stephanie rock your world. Enjoy!

Is Ozzy Osborne The New Voice Of CNN?

Step aside, Darth Vader (aka James Earl Jones). Now that actor Michael Douglas will be introducing the Nightly News With Brian Williams, who's auditioning for CNN's Anderson Cooper 360 gig? Stereogum writes:

http://stereogum.com/archives/video/ozzy-osbourne-auditions-for-anderson-cooper-360_007640.html">Ozzy Osbourne Auditions For Anderson Cooper 360º

Did you hear the big news recently amongst the news anchors? That Michael Douglas was now the intro announcer for the Nightly News With Brian Williams? We know. Serious stuff. It's set off a veritable chain reaction of on-air news talent scrambling to keep up with the times. Fun loving CNN and AC are so not above the opportunity to spice up the joint with a little pop culture (obvs), so they got the perfect guy to make you snicker if it was 2002.

Of course, there's a video link. In other silly non-news news, Best Week Ever has posted the YouTube evidence that we really, really, really expected more from David Letterman's Writers Guild of America deal. Alas, all we got was a lame de-bearding.

I was kind of digging David Letterman's venerable, grandfatherly strike beard, but all good playoff beards have to come to an end sometime, and last night, the inevitable finally happened. It would have been a good plug for the local barber they got, too, if Letterman hadn't ended up with a bloody, "Bruce Willis 2/3 of the way into a movie" face after the commercial break. Actual shaving starts at about 3:10:

While you were watching boring beard shavings and searching for actual news (aka facts) on cable networks, you might've missed this...

How FOX News Decides To Report Lies

We've always known that "FOX News" was an oxymoron. Now we have proof that FOX is just plain moronic. Paul Begala, blogging at The Huffington Post, explains how he tried to convince major FOX hairdo, Major Garrett, that he was not joining the Clinton campaign. Here's the email exchange:

I exchanged several civil emails with Garrett -- and append them to this post. They are not nuanced. Read them for yourself. I report, you decide.

----- Original Message -----

From: Begala, Paul
To: Garrett, Major
Sent: Tue Jan 08 14:18:37 2008
Subject: N.H.D.

Major,

I know you're swamped, and I hate to bother you on such a busy news day, but whoever told you I am joining Hillary's campaign fed you some bum info. It's just not true. Or as I say to my boys, N.H.D. Not. Happening. Dude.

I'm not coming in as a volunteer, or as an adviser, or as a strategist or anything else. I have contributed to her campaign, and am convinced she would be a great President. But I am not joining the campaign in any form or fashion.

Again, I know how busy you are, but I'd sure appreciate you checking with me before you go with a story about me. This email is always a good way to reach me.

Thanks a lot.

All best,

Paul Begala

________________________________

From: Garrett, Major
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2008 2:31 PM
To: Begala, Paul
Subject: Re: N.H.D.

Paul:

I genuinely appreciate the e-mail.

I will take it under advisement.

And I look forward to discussing all aspects of the campaign with you in the future.

All best,

Major

Major Garrett, Congressional Correspondent, Fox News

Under advisement? What part of "Not True" does Garrett not understand? Wait. There's more:

----- Original Message -----

From: Begala, Paul
To: Garrett, Major
Sent: Tue Jan 08 15:18:16 2008
Subject: RE: N.H.D.

Major,

Just heard you say I was on a conference call with Hillary's campaign yesterday. That's not true. I was not on any conference call with Hillary's campaign - and have had no contact with her campaign for months. No one from her campaign has contacted me -- nor have I contacted them -- and I am not joining in any capacity, paid or unpaid, official or unofficial. I feel like that old Lorrie Morgan song, "What part of 'no' don't you understand?"

I have a lot of respect for you, and I like you, but I've got to ask you again to check with me before you go with a story about me. Someone is misleading you, and it is not me.

Again, I know the challenges of 24-hour news, and this is a crazy environment, but you can almost always reach me at this email address.

All best,

Paul

________________________________

From: Garrett, Major
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2008 3:32 PM
To: Begala, Paul
Subject: Re: N.H.D.

Paul:

You know me well enough to know I am not trying to screw you.

You also know, or should know, that I'm careful and don't have a reputation for pulling stories out of my ass.

I'm not now. The sourcing is strong, very strong, or I wouldn't go with it.

I appreciate your e-mails and I redouble my efforts with each one I receive.

Please feel free to call me at any hour of any day.

Best,

Major

Major Garrett, Congressional Correspondent, Fox News

The sourcing is strong? If the horse's mouth says it's not true, wouldn't that be the story? Guess not. Here's the final email:

----- Original Message -----

From: Begala, Paul

To: Garrett, Major

Sent: Tue Jan 08 15:41 2008

Subject: RE: N.H.D.

Major,

Thanks so much for getting back to me. I do know you, and I like and respect you. You know me as well, and I would not lie to you, would not mislead you. And I am telling you that whoever told you I was on a conference call with Hillary's campaign was wrong. I'm quite sure that you're not making this up, so please don't misunderstand me. No doubt someone is telling you this stuff about me. It's just not true.

If my wife hears one more report that I'm joining Hillary's campaign I'm going to have to go in the Pundit Protection Program.

Thanks,

Paul

Nice try, Begala. Let us know if you ever convince Garrett that the truth should trump "strong sourcing." What a week! Meanwhile, out there in wingnut cyberspace...

RedState's In Trouble! Send $$$!1!1!

Poor RedState. (Yes, I'm joking.) The evil liberal programmers (and their bosses) have made it nigh on to impossible for them to upgrade their site, thus crippling their armchair warriors in the fight against Democratic candidates this year. Think I'm kidding? Conoleaser at Daily Kos has posted the text of RedState's plea for cash:

RedState HILARITY!!!1!!1!! (LOLZ galore!!!)

Short version: We need you to open your wallet and give what you can to build RedState 3.0. Go here to help. We need the money ASAP.

why is Erik whining for $$$$...???

because

RedState.com is about to embark on a major upgrade of our website that will make it easier, more informative, and just plain more fun for you to visit.

BUT!

The bad news: our liberal "friends" – you know, the ones who believe so strongly in free speech and open debate – have done what they can to prevent us from making these improvements, so that our influence will be minimized just as we head into the 2008 presidential primary season.

how did we accomplish this magnificent feat, you ask...?

You see, when we started RedState in May of 2004, we used a website program called Scoop — the same program a lot of similar sites on the left used. But, as the number of visitors to our site grew, Scoop kept crashing on us.

(here it comes...)

If we'd been a liberal website, we would have been able to fix the problem quickly and relatively cheaply. The online left loves Scoop. Unfortunately, there weren't really any conservative Scoop developers out there to help us. We kept crashing and were out of money. We had to close down or take drastic action.

Lies, more lies, and "liberals made us spend so much money that you now have to pony up." Pardon me while I ROTFLMAO. By the way, RedState, you can still spew your hate on the cheap: Blogger.com is still free. Tell the truth, you asshats.

Things To Do While American Dems Pick A Prez

Get ready to laugh: Kristol Mess is a hell of a drug... er, Drudge, swallowed whole by the New York Times. In his first op ed on the payroll, the neocon mouthpiece made the most basic freshman year Journalism 101 mistake: he attributed a Michael Medved quote to Michelle Malkin. Pressing Issues has the details.

Watch the video (at Liberal Talk Radio) of a mob of angry Republicans chasing Sean Hannity down the street, chanting, "FOX News sucks!"

Then, click over to Daily Kos and add your personal favorite George W. Bush nickname to the neverending list they've got going. Some fun ones already listed: Moran of Mass Destruction; Blinky O'Chucklepants; Fart in a Flightsuit; Spurious George; and The Untier. No, that last one wasn't misspelled. Says a lot about Bush, on so many levels. Heavy sigh.

Next, keep up with all of this year's primary and caucus dates and states - as well as county convention info and even US territorial and expat voting links - at The Green Papers.

Finally, take time out to be Pollyanna Glad that your life isn't so bad that you need a hospital visit/intervention from Dr. Phil, who plans to discuss his insights into your public meltdown on his TV show. For this and other "Poor Britney" blog coverage, Best Week Ever has the Dr. Phil scoopyness for you.

Oops! Hold on a minute. Incoming...

Sorry, Best Week Ever. Jossip has just scooped you. Dr. Phil has nixed his Britney Meltdown Show.:

"Because the Spears situation is too intense at this time, and out of consideration to the family, I have made the decision not to move forward with the taping at this particular time." That's Dr. Phil's official statement on why he canceled today's taping of his Britney Spears episode. Not mentioned in the statement: That Britney and her parents refused to cooperate in any manner; that he exaggerated most of the details about his meeting with her at Cedars-Sinai; and that the psychological community has, to the degree that they care at all, lambasted Dr. Phil's unsolicited visit to her in the first place.

Imagine that! The psychological community doesn't heart the guru of the cornpone catchphrase. Hm. Maybe it's because he's nothing more than a media creation. Much like those darlings of the cable news airwaves...

Chris Matthews Hearts Hillary! He really, Really Hearts Her!

Why else would so many people be citing Matthews' recent screechfests against her as a reason for Clinton's New Hampshire primary win? According to Digby:

Rachel Maddow just relayed to Chris Matthews' face that many in the blogosphere (she cited Talking Points Memo specifically) are blaming HIM and his misogyny as the reason undecideds broke late for Clinton. Matthews laughed it off, but there was some real bitterness there.

This is glorious. If the media can understand that their catty, elitist, high school Heathers-like mentality will ultimately backfire, maybe they'll shut their mouths for a second and rethink their job description.

Job description? What stinkin' job description? Plutonium Page at Kos writes:

Perhaps Chris Matthews' job description has "professional ass" in it somewhere. He's been spewing sexist crap about Hillary Clinton for years, but this morning, he proved that he's really trying for a spot in the Misogynist Pundit Hall of Fame.

"Professional ass" has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Asking pasty-faced blowhards incredibly stupid questions, day after day, and letting them spew lie after lie, in the name of (cough) journalism? And it's not just Matthews, either. Case in point...

There Are No Racists In America

Before your head explodes, take a minute or two to consider those who'll be spouting this nonsense this election year (also the 40th anniversary of the Kerner Commission Report on racism in America), namely pasty-faced CNN pundit, Bill Bennett. For a reality-based analysis of Dem prez primary candidate Barack Obama's stellar rise in Iowa and New Hampshire, keep an eye on posts by George Mason professor/blogger Michael Fauntroy... who looks like this:


"Beware the fawning media," Fauntroy writes, adding:

His (Obama's) personal story and charisma have charmed the media into doing almost no critical analysis of his political positions. Most of the coverage I saw tried to suggest that his win was proof that White voters have overcome their aversion to Black presidential candidates.

How quickly the media forgets. Or chooses to ignore history. Fauntroy continues with a reality check on CNN's Bill Bennett:

His (Bennett's) saying that racism is no longer a problem in America is ridiculous on its face. Racism may not be an issue for White, middle-aged, millionaire men such as Bennett, but there are a lot of jobless, homeless, incarcerated, and otherwise disenfranchised Black and Brown people in American whose lots in life are at least partially attributable to racism. Bennett, who experiences America from the comfort of a climate-controlled radio studio could never understand this.

Finally, Fauntroy supplies the historical data CNN and other McMedia outlets have completely ignored:

...it should never be a surprise to anyone when a Black Democrat wins a presidential primary. Democratic voters around the country have been voting for Black presidential candidates for years. After all, the hated Jesse Jackson won seven primaries and four caucuses 20 years ago. He scored wins in, among other places, the White-as-Iowa Vermont (95 percent White) and disproportionately White Delaware (70 percent White). Indeed, the real surprise will be when a Black candidate wins a Republican primary.

When a Black candidate wins a Republican primary, we'll know that Disney's animatronic technology has become reality. Well, there's nothing left to do but...

Thank A DUer!

Thanks to Stephanie for posting the Amazon tags associated with Jonah Goldberg's new liberal hate book. My favorite tags: doughy pantload (199); banged out by howler monkeys (26); books written while high on cheeto dust (20); and, makes ann coulter seem sane (4).

Thanks to Mythsaje for one of the most inspiring DU posts. Ever. Here's a snippet:

We'll make peace with the Republicans. On OUR terms. As soon as they surrender their racist, sexist, homophobic, holier than thou certainty that THEY are right and WE are wrong. As soon as they apologize for calling us traitors, or allowing others who claim to represent them to do it. As soon as they apologize for branding people like Natalie Maines, Dick Durbin, Tom Dashle, and others as "traitors" or "terrorist sympathizers" for disagreeing with President George W. Bush on the way to handle the so-called "War On Terror."

Read the rest, and note the "No quarter given, no quarter asked" pledge. Inspiring to the max.

Finally, thanks to MonkeyFunk for this thoughtful post on campaigning:

Kudos to ALL the candidates

I'm amazed when I see how grueling it is to be campaigning this long and this hard. I honestly don't know how they do it. Most of 'em aren't exactly spring chickens, and the schedule is just crippling. 18 hour days for months on end.

I'm reminded of Nixon's quote: "Sometimes, at the end of the day, when I'm smiling and shaking hands, I just want to kick them."

The candidates literally shake hands with tens or hundreds or thousands of people. And each person probably says one of 5 or so things that the candidate already heard 700 times that day. And still, they nod, smile and move on to the next person.

And they do it in lousy weather, they get abused and attacked, and get up the next morning to do it all over again.

I know *I* could never be a politician. Hell, even Nixon refrained from kicking 'em. I couldn't.

Some weeks on the blogs are truly (metaphorically) bloody. This has been one of the bloodiest. It's also been one of the most inspiring: without the blogs, imagine how many sane voices we never would've found among the gossipmongers, the ratings whores, and the vicious vipers of Wingnuttia. Of course, you have to have your fiction filter in the "on" position at all times.

It's going to get weirder and weirder in the weeks ahead. Keep filtering out the wingnut propaganda, and keep sending those great blog links. And seek out inspiration. You'll be glad you did.

-- Delilah Boyd

[zbdent]

1. hmm ... "Scoop" couldn't find any capable "conservative" people?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[NMDemDist2]

2. kickety n/t

[annabanana]

3. Great collection of "out of the" blog-box thinking! Thanks!. . .n/t